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Waiting for patterns

I got a package yesterday. The first month of the year is not even over and there is new fabric. Two pieces from Nancy Erickson, a lovely periwinkle or lilac knit, and the navy silk with a bit of stretch,

The navy was washed and prepped and is ready to go, The lilac knit is a little further down the list but I have immediate plans for the silk.

I was hoping that my order from Vogue patterns would arrive today. I had a block of time, I have the fabric ready, and I am just waiting for the pattern. But alas there were no packages. The next two days are pretty busy, it may be Saturday before my next opportunity to work on anything,

The time was put to good use, probably better use even, because I cleaned out the drawers, boxes, and piles of UFOs and decided what I would really make and use. Those projects that made the cut have been sorted by priority and are now all ready to go.

But the blue silk project comes first.

January 21, 2009
Inauguration Day

I didn't really think I would get all wrapped up in watching the inauguration and the events in Washington today, and in fact I almost missed it. Not because I wasn't interested or happy but just because, well, sometimes I don't think things through.

Its just that I tend to take politics very pragmatically and intellectually and weigh the options seriously and make what I think and hope are the best choices. I don't really get all wrapped up in idealistic causes, or dreams or hopes or all kinds of emotional issues regarding elections, or I do, but perhaps I am just so jaded about politics and to down to earth about the business of running a government, that I suppress them. So although I voted for the new president, I didn't make that decision based on hopes and dreams, and although I was even excited, no thrilled, as today approached, I didn't think of it beyond that.

Strange isn't it, that I, a person who firmly believes in the power of rituals could forget to pay attention to this particular ritual and the power it represents as a symbol? Not only that but this year in particular held even greater power as a symbol of something that I have hoped for much of my adult life.

So here I was watching people lining up and waiting, and watching the events of the day, listening to the inaugural address (I didn't get to watch that) and generally spending my day glued to the TV. And I found myself teary-eyed and foolishly happy. I found myself tapping into some fragment of the hopeful naivete that I felt the first time I watched a Presidential inauguration for a President elected in an election in which I myself had voted. In fact that was the last inauguration I ever watched: the inauguration of Jimmy Carter, when I was still a naive young girl who believed that a hope and prayer could change the world. I guess I still believe that, I just realize that the hope and prayer have to be bolstered up with a lot of hard work and commitment. But I am oh so glad that those hopes and prayers are still there.

January 20, 2009
First Concert of 2009

We had planned to go in to New York to see Gustavo Dudamel conduct the New York Philharmonic. He was conducting Mahler's Fifth, one of his signature pieces, and one of my favorite works, so the concert was eagerly anticipated. Alas, fears and concerns over the weather interfered with our plans.

We did however make ti to our Sunday afternoon concert, the first concert of the Howland Chamber Circle's Piano Series, featuring Gilles Vonsattel.

I was not disappointed. We never are at this venue. I was completely unfamiliar with the opening work, "Les Soires de Nazelles" by Poulenc. It was lovely although rather a frivolous indulgence, not the way I think of most of Poulenc's work. G did not like it.

It was the second half of the concert that I found the most fabulous. Vonsattel began with Nico Muhy's Booklet, which was something of a tour-de-force. I really don't know anything about Muhy, but I certainly want to hear more. Often with modern works I feel one needs to listen over and over until one has almost absorbed the music before it really begins to make sense, but I think perhaps this piece reaches out to the listener a little sooner. There seem to be hidden echoes of early church music in this otherwise very modern composition, or at least so it seemed on this my first listening. I have an impression of an interesting and moving combination of massively pounding and dominant waves of sound contrasted with the very delicate and almost frivolous. The work combined pedal octaves with a very loud, at times massively pounding, toccata-like structure played with the left hand, while the right was tripping along with soft harmonies and melodic bits. This is a work I would dearly love to hear again.

The Muhy was followed by Ravel's Gaspard de la Nuit, another technically demanding work but completely different from the Muhy. I would have liked to be in a position where I could have watched the pianist playing, but that might have also distracted from my pure enjoyment of the music. Sitting in the back, my head resting on a pillar behind my chair, letting the music of Ravel wash over one is a perfectly fine way to end a Sunday afternoon.

So, we had a fabulous concert, followed by a lovely little dinner, and an absolutely horrendous drive home in a combination of slow and sleet with about 1/2 inch of slushy slippery stuff on the roads and very little visibility.

January 19, 2009
Reflections on the new patterns at Vogue.

The new Vogue Patterns have been up on the website a few days now and you know I am just not that thrilled. Maybe it was just that I was awaiting their debut so eagerly. After all, I got my magazine last year and usually it is only a week to 10 days before the patterns appear on the website….. Or am I deceiving myself?

I do really like the jacket in pattern 1098, and there are a couple of other things I like, but I am still wavering. I put a few patterns in my cart. But I haven't bought anything yet and I have a feeling that the cart will get smaller and smaller before I get to checkout.

Am I growing wiser with age?

Or is it just that I have been sorting through and organizing my pattern collections and I am much more aware of all the fabulous patterns I have, and all the fabulous patterns I want to make. Certainly as I look at the patterns I want to make each and every one of them, and that is a good sign. I am storing up all that sewing spirit, just waiting until the weather is right for it to burst into bloom.

In the meantime, I have time now, and I even have desire to sew, but I know that I will just hit a wall unless I deal with a few more of these piles, like the pattern piles I have been working on. There is also the pile of UFOs and some refashions too that are taking a big toll on my psychic sewing energy. I might be happy with a couple of knitting projects at a time, although there are too many of those too, but I am not happy with all of the UFOs in my space now and I can't bear the thought of adding more.

So I liken the time I am spending in my sewing room now to putting down roots. Pretty soon the roots will have stored up enough energy and then there will be no holding back.

The other two patterns are Vogue 1087 and Vogue 1090 respectively. I like them both, but they both fit into the "maybe-yes, maybe-no" category. I don't have plans to make either one right away, but the Michael Kors is the most likely. The Donna Karan pattern is just so interesting though, and I have no problems with buying a pattern for pure inspiration and "how did she do that" value.

And yet, I may not. I think I still have to just wait and see what sprouts.

January 15, 2009
The Greens Made Me Do It.

I am dreaming of greens.

It is garden catalog season and they come into the house bringing promises of warmth and sunshine and glorious color igniting all our fantasies and lusts.

I think I had said, sometime or another over the past year that I really didn't miss gardening. It was a lie, the basest form of self-deception, because here I am thinking about all the things that need to be done in the yard and I get all giddy with excitement. If I didn't want to garden nothing would "need" to be done.

But I want to work on all those projects that have been spinning around in the back of my head. I want to finish promised flower beds, and plant new flower beds in the sunshine around the deck. I have never had a sun garden, well except for the vegetable garden, and I want to resurrect that as well.

Of course the seed catalogs fan the flames of planters lust, but really I am just as much egged on by Denis Cotter's descriptions of various vegetables in my current book, Wild Garlic, Goosberries…and me. Every page, every new green, or root makes me want to cook, or even more, it makes me want to dig in the earth and grow something new. I got this book because Cotter's Cafe Paradiso Cookbook had become a favorite discovery this past year. This book is more prose with recipes, not really a cookbook, but it makes me want to cook.

The chapter on greens especially got my attention. Even before reading this book I had been contemplating my own bed of Tuscan Kale, something we never seem to find quite enough of in the farmer's market to quench our lust for its dark green almost crunchy flavor.

Then Cotter starts writing about greens I can't find and I want them even more. When he wrote about sprouting broccoli I was drooling. I had to run to the catalog stash and start pawing frantically through the pages to see if I too could grow this marvelous vegetable.

Apparently it needs to overwinter.

This is a problem as it is hardy only to zone 7 and Dutchess County is most definitely zone 6. Granted the part of the county along the Hudson is warmer than further east, but still not zone 7. There is one part of my front yard, protected from the North and the West that perhaps is 10 degrees milder than the rest of the yard. I sheltered an azalea only hardy to zone 8 there for several years, until an unusually hard winter took it.

Still, I was wondering if I could plant it in one of the flower beds in the front yard. The maple has shed its leaves by winter. Would that give it enough sun? Or should I plant it in a big barrel and bring it into the protection of the front yard as the weather turns cold? Can I insulate the pot enough if I wrap it with roofing paper and layers of straw enmeshed in chicken wire? What about layers of straw alternating with layers of bubble wrap?

Have I lost my mind?

Perhaps.

I don't know if this is the obsessive gardener or the obsessive cook coming out here. Perhaps both.

January 13, 2009
First Book

Finished: The Myth of the Rational Votor by Bryan Caplan

The book was good. It was well argued and interesting although perhaps a little dense at times, and dry and academic as well, not that those are necessarily bad qualities. Caplan's argument, that most votors are irrational rather than ignorant is compelling. It is an interesting book to read in this interesting time. I suppose according to Caplan all elections are interesting times in terms of voter irrationality. I think he misses some key points but the book remains thought provoking. And I believe that human irrationality is not something one can discount or eliminate.

I had this book before the last election but did not get around to reading it until now. No mind. Signs of irrationality are everywhere. But then again, that is exactly what makes humanity, and the governance of humanity so interesting, and no one has ever accused me of being overly rational.

January 12, 2009
I shall entertain you with a picture of the lovely tote bag my mom sent me for Christmas. I think it is really lovely and beautifully done as well with all kinds of nifty and useful pockets inside. It is currently functioning as a knitting bag and harboring a nascent pair of socks.

Otherwise the beginnings of 2009 have been devoted to getting back on a schedule. I like being able to be open to inspiration, but I also like a plan and a schedule and am much happier when things run in a particular order. There is a certain amount of security and satisfaction in knowing "if it is Monday I should be doing X". I can always throw the schedule out the window for a treat, but at least I know everything is getting done and I rest a little more easily in that knowledge. Of course, when DH was not well, the schedule was abandoned and everything revolved around him and I was always fretting that there was something I wasn't getting to. By putting the controllable part of life on a schedule I am much freer to enjoy the unexpected upsets and fully follow creative inspirations in my free time without some little nagging voice grumbling in the back of my brain.

This week's free time has so far been devoted to re-acquainting myself with my closet and it has been a glorious time indeed. Suddenly I have been able to see the potential in things that I have fretted over for years. Combinations seem to be cropping up willy nilly and I am thrilled to discover them. There are also clothes that fit and even look good, but don't somehow look like "me". I am just amazed that my long absence has resulted in this kind of focus on what works and what does not.

One advantage to not sorting through the closet and only having a few clothes available during the fall was that I have learned that a few perfect things are far better than a closet full of things that are lovely but not quite right. My goal is no longer to have lots and lots of clothes but to have those things that work and I love wearing. I am sure, if I keep sewing, the lots and lots thing will occur anyway. In the meantime I want to think about what I make and what I buy and be certain that it works.

That sounds far grander than the reality, I am sure.

January 8, 2009
I still manage to get dressed

We once had a receptionist who was a great and efficient worker, but she had some chronic health conditions. I could tell she was having a bad day when I walked into the office and she was sitting at her desk in full professional makeup. She had once been a model and her way of coping with physical distress was to go out of her way to mask the trouble and appear as pulled together and polished as possible. Once you got to know her it was pretty easy to determine how she felt by how much or how little makeup she appeared to be wearing.

Which brings me to a question. How do you present yourself to the world when you feel particularly miserable? Do you fall apart and just run around in sweats, or do you put out an extra effort to look "better than your best"?

I ask because I am currently suffering through a case of hives and there are days when I frankly don't want to get out of my jammies, much less face the world. I do manage to dress and go out but I have noticed a couple of things about what I will accept and what I will not do:

I try to make-up but only emphasizing the best and downplaying the worst. Since I don't have pancake makeup there is no point in trying to hide the hives on those days they invade my face; best to try and distract the eye by emphasizing something else.

Clothing is more difficult. Everything itches. Bras are hell, but at the same time I don't feel I can go out without a bra. There are very few women in their 50's or older who can truly look fabulous and pulled together without a bra of some sort, and I am not one of them, especially if one goes for more fitted or tailored clothes.

Of course there are some wardrobe styles that are probably more suitable to "hives dressing". Consider Eskander (shown here courtesy of Bergdorf Goodman and Neiman Marcus respectively)

Here is clothing that would gently skim the body, causing less distress to sensitive skin and hiding the presence or lack thereof any supporting garments.

Another contender might be Issey Miyake, another master of clothing that hints at the body underneath. Perfect camouflage for those less than perfect body image days. With the right accessories and attitude, one could still look pulled together.

(Miyake photos courtesy of Elle.com)

Unfortunately these garments don't grace my wardrobe although there are certainly patterns along the Eskander vein, and older MIyake patters also fit in this ethic. So I could of course make them. It might even be a good idea to have a camouflage garment or two, but hopefully the current plague will not last long enough to warrant much in the way of protective clothing.

Nonetheless I am grateful for my collection of turtlenecks as they hide a multitude of sins and eruptions while offering options for protective cover in the form of layering.

It really is too bad that the IRS is unlikely to agree that a new wardrobe would be a justified medical expense.

January 6, 2009
Goodbye 2008

We closed the year with a quiet, snowy day. We had no reason to go anywhere and were content to sit at home and watch the snow.

I sorted through sewing patterns, played with my new camera and read, finishing up two of the books on my current pile: Sointula was beautifully written and enjoyable even thought it was at times rather fantastic and the characters were difficult at best. Traffic was full of interesting facts and tidbits of information but was ultimately of the moment and entirely forgettable. .

Luckily the skies cleared just before sunset, giving me a chance to play with my new camera and providing a suitably lovely closing for the year.

December 31, 2008
Goodbye to all that

This last day of 2008 found me sitting on the floor surrounded by stacks and stacks of patterns making some shaky attempts at resorting and re-filing things that have been sitting here waiting patiently for far too long.

The long past due lists of things that needed to be redone, resorted, made and remade are not going to be resolved this year but I was having a blast looking at the patterns, and then letting my eyes wander beyond the piles of inspiration all around me to the fabric in the cubbies and on the shelves.

The pattern sortie was inspired by the new Threads and the new Vogue Patterns, both of which arrived yesterday. As I flipped through them my mind began to fill up with ideas and dreams and wishes, and I began also to think about all the projects I have dreamed about in the past, many of which have been posted here. They are not forgotten.

The piles of patterns still need to be sorted and filed away. There are many piles of things that have been waiting for my attentions to wander back to them. But there must be creative activity along with the sorting and filing and I am looking forward to doing some of each in 2009.

I am not making any sewing resolutions this year. My record has not been good in the resolution department and I prefer to look forward with acceptance of open eyes. With the close of 2008 I hope to say goodbye to the frustrations of wanting and try to embrace accepting. It may prove to be a much more rewarding path.

I did finish 2008 with a sewing promise fulfilled, small promise though it was.

In October DH bought an Alpaca Jacket at the NY Sheep and Wool Festival. The price was ridiculously low and it was COLD that day. We have no regrets and the fabric is warm and snugly although the construction left something to be desired. The zipper too was sub-par, as it broke on the second or third wearing.

As usual I waited until the last possible minute, ripping out the old plastic separating zipper and threading up the machine on New Year's Eve. As I threaded my trusty old Elna Carina, I realized that it still had the test fabric under the needle from the last time I had it repaired, early in 2007 when I met Carolyn and Ann in NYC, as I was planning my sewing come-back. I wondered if I was pushing my luck, expecting the Elna to just start up with nary a stutter as if nearly two years had not passed. But the Elna has rarely failed me. And I plowed ahead.

This year no promises. No grand plans. Just determination and acceptance. I think they will see me far.

December 31, 2008