We once had a receptionist who was a great and efficient worker, but she had some chronic health conditions. I could tell she was having a bad day when I walked into the office and she was sitting at her desk in full professional makeup. She had once been a model and her way of coping with physical distress was to go out of her way to mask the trouble and appear as pulled together and polished as possible. Once you got to know her it was pretty easy to determine how she felt by how much or how little makeup she appeared to be wearing.
Which brings me to a question. How do you present yourself to the world when you feel particularly miserable? Do you fall apart and just run around in sweats, or do you put out an extra effort to look "better than your best"?
I ask because I am currently suffering through a case of hives and there are days when I frankly don't want to get out of my jammies, much less face the world. I do manage to dress and go out but I have noticed a couple of things about what I will accept and what I will not do:
I try to make-up but only emphasizing the best and downplaying the worst. Since I don't have pancake makeup there is no point in trying to hide the hives on those days they invade my face; best to try and distract the eye by emphasizing something else.
Clothing is more difficult. Everything itches. Bras are hell, but at the same time I don't feel I can go out without a bra. There are very few women in their 50's or older who can truly look fabulous and pulled together without a bra of some sort, and I am not one of them, especially if one goes for more fitted or tailored clothes.
Of course there are some wardrobe styles that are probably more suitable to "hives dressing". Consider Eskander (shown here courtesy of Bergdorf Goodman and Neiman Marcus respectively)
Here is clothing that would gently skim the body, causing less distress to sensitive skin and hiding the presence or lack thereof any supporting garments.
Another contender might be Issey Miyake, another master of clothing that hints at the body underneath. Perfect camouflage for those less than perfect body image days. With the right accessories and attitude, one could still look pulled together.
(Miyake photos courtesy of Elle.com)
Unfortunately these garments don't grace my wardrobe although there are certainly patterns along the Eskander vein, and older MIyake patters also fit in this ethic. So I could of course make them. It might even be a good idea to have a camouflage garment or two, but hopefully the current plague will not last long enough to warrant much in the way of protective clothing.
Nonetheless I am grateful for my collection of turtlenecks as they hide a multitude of sins and eruptions while offering options for protective cover in the form of layering.
It really is too bad that the IRS is unlikely to agree that a new wardrobe would be a justified medical expense.
Comments
18 responses to “I still manage to get dressed”
Wow, if the IRS would let you buy Miyake as a medical expense, hives would become a fashion statement! I hope yours go away soon, and stay away!
I love both of the Miyake outfits, and for some reason the padded one is really resonating with me. Hmmm. I look forward to seeing your new wardrobe. 🙂
Wow, if the IRS would let you buy Miyake as a medical expense, hives would become a fashion statement! I hope yours go away soon, and stay away!
I love both of the Miyake outfits, and for some reason the padded one is really resonating with me. Hmmm. I look forward to seeing your new wardrobe. 🙂
The newer Miyakes tend to be made of polyester, so it will take the pleats permanently. However, they are too scratchy for my skin.
Eskander is made from natural fabrics, and I love their crunch texture. But the nubby linens and raw silks might be too scratchy in your current condition.
Do you have time to make your own loose clothing out of soft fabrics and threads?
Hanna Anderson used to sell a line of clothing that met an European standard for non-scratchiness. They used special fabrics, threads, interfacings… Sweden has the largest % of people with Psoriatic Arthritis in the world so they have a large enough market of people who need such clothes. Call their 800 # in the US to see if they still make those clothes.
The newer Miyakes tend to be made of polyester, so it will take the pleats permanently. However, they are too scratchy for my skin.
Eskander is made from natural fabrics, and I love their crunch texture. But the nubby linens and raw silks might be too scratchy in your current condition.
Do you have time to make your own loose clothing out of soft fabrics and threads?
Hanna Anderson used to sell a line of clothing that met an European standard for non-scratchiness. They used special fabrics, threads, interfacings… Sweden has the largest % of people with Psoriatic Arthritis in the world so they have a large enough market of people who need such clothes. Call their 800 # in the US to see if they still make those clothes.
I’m sorry you’re going thru this. It’s stress related and considering what you’ve been thru, it’s no wonder. You need to be kind to yourself, relax, mull thru some of your books, and just veg out. Life hasn’t been great for you lately, but I feel sure 2009 is going to see you and your DH on the road to happiness and health again. Good luck and take care of yourself.
Hilary
I’m sorry you’re going thru this. It’s stress related and considering what you’ve been thru, it’s no wonder. You need to be kind to yourself, relax, mull thru some of your books, and just veg out. Life hasn’t been great for you lately, but I feel sure 2009 is going to see you and your DH on the road to happiness and health again. Good luck and take care of yourself.
Hilary
Gostaria de ter a assinatura desta Revista.
como fasso?
Gostaria de ter a assinatura desta Revista.
como fasso?
Very sorry to hear about the hives. I agree, you & your husband have had enough stress. Wishing you both health & happiness for 2009.
It is great to read your posts again. Maybe you could take the opportunity to make yourself something beautiful, free & flowy , w/o having to worry about fit issues? That would appeal to most of us, I think . 🙂
Nedra
Very sorry to hear about the hives. I agree, you & your husband have had enough stress. Wishing you both health & happiness for 2009.
It is great to read your posts again. Maybe you could take the opportunity to make yourself something beautiful, free & flowy , w/o having to worry about fit issues? That would appeal to most of us, I think . 🙂
Nedra
I find that mineral makeup foundation is great for covering imperfections, even hives.
This is the makeup I buy: http://www.aromaleigh.com
I had hives recently from an antibiotic. I read online that taking probiotics helps and it really helped me along with the Antihistamine.
I hope you’re feeling better.
I find that mineral makeup foundation is great for covering imperfections, even hives.
This is the makeup I buy: http://www.aromaleigh.com
I had hives recently from an antibiotic. I read online that taking probiotics helps and it really helped me along with the Antihistamine.
I hope you’re feeling better.
I have lupus and sometimes, when it’s flaring up, I have exactly the same problem as you. I always have a minor version of the problem – my clothes are always vetted for the non-scratch factor – and I know EXACTLY what you mean about bras! I agree with hilary about the Miyake’s and the polyester – I tried on some (preloved) “Pleats Please’ and found it unwearable because of the fabric. Like you, I have fantasies of making a complete non-itch wardrobe. Perhaps we should both do it. At the moment, in our southern hemisphere summer, I’m wearing long, lightweight, looseish pants with a fairly fitting knit slip over them and then, if needed, a little empire line wrap over that – it seems to be a combination that means there are very few points that rub – and the fabrics are all silk, or cotton or sometimes a very fine New Zealand merino.
I have lupus and sometimes, when it’s flaring up, I have exactly the same problem as you. I always have a minor version of the problem – my clothes are always vetted for the non-scratch factor – and I know EXACTLY what you mean about bras! I agree with hilary about the Miyake’s and the polyester – I tried on some (preloved) “Pleats Please’ and found it unwearable because of the fabric. Like you, I have fantasies of making a complete non-itch wardrobe. Perhaps we should both do it. At the moment, in our southern hemisphere summer, I’m wearing long, lightweight, looseish pants with a fairly fitting knit slip over them and then, if needed, a little empire line wrap over that – it seems to be a combination that means there are very few points that rub – and the fabrics are all silk, or cotton or sometimes a very fine New Zealand merino.
Bras are hell for my sensitive skin. I wear either the Jockey microfiber double lined bralet or the modal crop top.
http://www.jockey.com/en-US/Catalog/ProductDetails.aspx?CS_ProductID=4726&CS_Catalog=Women&cm_mmc=GBSE-_-Women-_-Bras-_-4726
http://www.jockey.com/en-US/Catalog/ProductDetails.aspx?CS_ProductID=1204&CS_Category=Bras&CS_Catalog=Women&List=114
Or the Nancy Ganz “what a lift” camisole.
http://www.bodynancyganz.com/products_6.html
I wear them inside out because the thread cuts into my skin otherwise.
Bras are hell for my sensitive skin. I wear either the Jockey microfiber double lined bralet or the modal crop top.
http://www.jockey.com/en-US/Catalog/ProductDetails.aspx?CS_ProductID=4726&CS_Catalog=Women&cm_mmc=GBSE-_-Women-_-Bras-_-4726
http://www.jockey.com/en-US/Catalog/ProductDetails.aspx?CS_ProductID=1204&CS_Category=Bras&CS_Catalog=Women&List=114
Or the Nancy Ganz “what a lift” camisole.
http://www.bodynancyganz.com/products_6.html
I wear them inside out because the thread cuts into my skin otherwise.
this post reminded me of an article that i saved from an australian vogue, “beyond flattering” – there was a quote from miuccia prada: “if you just want to look thin and sexy – to wear a narrow, sexy dress – then you end up with clothes that are boring…there’s no possibility for invention…there is more to fashion than just being flattering. of course, i am aware of the importance of that, and make sure that the clothes work on that level. but interesting fashion is not just about being appealing. it’s more exciting to have something interesting to look at and to wear, and to experience your body in a different way.”
as well as this quote from then-head of communications for comme des garcons annika mcveigh (coincidentally she is now doing pr for prada…):
“i don’t think of clothes in terms of whether they’re flattering or not; i just wear what i like…i have never thought about making a point, or showing off in the clothes i choose to wear. i think the current uniform of bohemian clothes and drainpipe jeans – a look that is generally considered attractive and certainly acceptable – is very unflattering.”
having seen well over a hundred too many backsides exposed in pursuit of this tight, low-rise denim stupidity, i am quite in agreement with the last statement. and as for “flattering” for some reason this is currently equated with exposing. that is a mentality, not a design/visual/style fact. if i feel like crap, the best way to not feel like crap is to allow my clothing to pick up the slack, earn their keep and represent me when my hair or skin cannot. why succumb to a body that is disappointing when the precise genius and power of clothing is that it is an extension and an additional voice/representation of who we are, and in fact it has the potential to be a truer representative than the skin/face/body we have by default. when i get a compliment on a physical attribute, it is nice, but not truly a compliment as it is not based on an accomplishment or even a choice. it’s a positive observation and it expresses admiration, but a compliment needs to be earned, needs to be based on something i did. you cannot control hives but you can choose your clothes. you do have to be comfortable – that is the most important (in my opinion), but after that, anything goes. you don’t need to use clothing to disappear. i’m rambling big time because i’m exhausted and i read this post earlier and had several different responses and i’m sure i’ve combined and jumbled them all right here, but if you sort through it, maybe i’ve made a point or two. or maybe i’ve just conveyed my disappointment with how fashion is chased and embraced these days (with has nothing to do with you). stupid tight jeans.
this post reminded me of an article that i saved from an australian vogue, “beyond flattering” – there was a quote from miuccia prada: “if you just want to look thin and sexy – to wear a narrow, sexy dress – then you end up with clothes that are boring…there’s no possibility for invention…there is more to fashion than just being flattering. of course, i am aware of the importance of that, and make sure that the clothes work on that level. but interesting fashion is not just about being appealing. it’s more exciting to have something interesting to look at and to wear, and to experience your body in a different way.”
as well as this quote from then-head of communications for comme des garcons annika mcveigh (coincidentally she is now doing pr for prada…):
“i don’t think of clothes in terms of whether they’re flattering or not; i just wear what i like…i have never thought about making a point, or showing off in the clothes i choose to wear. i think the current uniform of bohemian clothes and drainpipe jeans – a look that is generally considered attractive and certainly acceptable – is very unflattering.”
having seen well over a hundred too many backsides exposed in pursuit of this tight, low-rise denim stupidity, i am quite in agreement with the last statement. and as for “flattering” for some reason this is currently equated with exposing. that is a mentality, not a design/visual/style fact. if i feel like crap, the best way to not feel like crap is to allow my clothing to pick up the slack, earn their keep and represent me when my hair or skin cannot. why succumb to a body that is disappointing when the precise genius and power of clothing is that it is an extension and an additional voice/representation of who we are, and in fact it has the potential to be a truer representative than the skin/face/body we have by default. when i get a compliment on a physical attribute, it is nice, but not truly a compliment as it is not based on an accomplishment or even a choice. it’s a positive observation and it expresses admiration, but a compliment needs to be earned, needs to be based on something i did. you cannot control hives but you can choose your clothes. you do have to be comfortable – that is the most important (in my opinion), but after that, anything goes. you don’t need to use clothing to disappear. i’m rambling big time because i’m exhausted and i read this post earlier and had several different responses and i’m sure i’ve combined and jumbled them all right here, but if you sort through it, maybe i’ve made a point or two. or maybe i’ve just conveyed my disappointment with how fashion is chased and embraced these days (with has nothing to do with you). stupid tight jeans.