A WordPress Site

Author: 459856pwpadmin

No Orphans
Despite my intention of making no resolutions or posting goals for 2024, a theme has evolved. How it plays out is yet to be determined, but I am fine with themes. Last year's theme was nesting, and the process of nesting yielded many discoveries and a growing sense of comfort within the always evolving themes of where I am in this particular stage of my life.

These year's theme seems to be revolving around the idea of "no orphans". It started as an impromptu idea that I simply didn't want to make things that had no place in my wardrobe, that were orphans. That means no sweaters that don't really go with anything or have a place in my wardrobe, no clothes I would never wear. it also apparently means that I need to assess the items I currently own, locate garments that have fallen out of favor, and perhaps find new partners for them.

This is all started with those black pants that I posted about a little over a week ago now. As I hemmed those pants, and later, the first time I wore them, I reflected on where they fit in my closet and from there to what I things I needed in my closet anyway.

Before making the black pants my winter basics included a couple of skirts for dressing up, two pairs of jeans, and a variety of cardigans and jackets that went with none of the above. In short the black pants were well needed.

I have a small collection of black tops to wear with them, black tops that give me a basic column to wear under sweaters and jackets of various colors. What you see in the picture, from left to right, are two black tees, one black turtleneck, a silky black tank/shell, and a silk blouse with ruffled collar. Between them I am probably set for most of my needs. I could perhaps use a long sleeve black tee or sweater, preferably in a merino wool or cashmere, but I am not likely to knit that, and it will not get as much wear as the other, so it can wait until the perfect something turns up.

The second tee, a. Uniqlo crewneck, is a couple of years old and obviously faded. it needs to be replaced. I don't have appropriate black fabric in my stash for a lightweight tee and I like the first tee very much, as it is lightweight, cool in the summer and works as a base layer under winter sweaters. At roughly $14 from Amazon, it makes more sense just to buy a another copy of that tee.

The silky tank was my mom's, purchased at a time when she had dropped some weight, and later passed to me. It fits, and fills a hole, but it is polyester, which means it is hot in the summer and cold in the winter. I need to replace it with silk, something I can do, and would prefer to do. I do miss the little silk tees and tanks I used to knock out by the dozen.

I could probably use a black skirt. I used to have one, and it was endlessly useful, so that gets added to the list.

What I do not have are any black third layers: a jacket or a cardigan, and these might also be worthwhile additions to my wardrobe. Black is still not my best color, but psychologically I have never been able to wean myself away. There are times I just feel comfortable in black. A black jacket would allow me to wear colored tees, tops, or sweaters under a jacket, still creating a unified column. I will likely not knit a fine gauge black cardigan , so that is something else to be on the lookout for. And since I think a black jacket would be useful, but I am not as interested in putting time into making a beautifully tailored jacket in black, or investing in a beautifully made specimen, I would look for something simpler, and perhaps more causal. I could make something like either of the patterns show below out of black ponte, of which I currently have a good supply in stash as I bought it on sale for pattern testing.

I made the CJ patterns jacket years ago (decades?) out of cotton/lycra and wore it out. It was a great travel jacket that saw heavy wear.

I recently purchased the second jacket pattern, Metra Jacket from Love Notions, forgetting I had the CJ patterns jacket, thinking it would be a good project to make with my ponte, and would be a great wardrobe basic to upgrade a casual "at home" outfit to something more polished for running errands etc.

Whatever I decide, the black pants are already proving useful, useful enough that I am going to make a second pair. This will give me one "core basic set" that I can fall back on while I work my way through my closet and making other garments. Although I might be tempted by other things, I need to focus on basics for a bit before branching out to the fun stuff.

In the meantime however, in the spirit of no orphans, let me show you how the black core is already working with this year's theme. Here I am wearing the black pants with the black turtleneck and an alpaca shrug I knitted in 2007 and have kept. I actually haven't worn the shrug in a few years as the garments that worked with it previously are no longer in my closet. I find that, to be comfortable, I need a belt at the waist to balance the shrug. These high waisted pants give me the opportunity of belting, something I have not had for a few years, and which I miss. A simple dress with a belt or waist detail would also work. The shrug doesn't get a lot of wear, but there are days each winter where it is appropriate. I expect to be wearing it more.

Another "oldie but goodie" that has popped out of the closet is this thick cabled sweater knit in 2001 from a Debbie Bliss pattern using Noro Kureyon. I've kept the sweater even though there are some winters in Knoxville where it hasn't been worn. Mostly I've worn it with jeans, but this winter I don't like the look of this sweater with the cut of my current jeans. The black pants however, work and the combination makes me happy. This past week, when Knoxville has been covered in snow and beset with freezing weather, I have felt very cozy and warm in this sweater. Below is a not very good picture of me in the sweater, unmade bed and all. Mastering the art of the self may not be high on my goal list.

So where does that leave me now?

Basic black pants and black tops are ready to wear with a variety of sweaters and jackets .

Two previously orphaned sweaters have found new companions.

Needs:
- 1 new short sleeve tee: 32 degrees cool, ordered from Amazon
- Another pair of black ponte pants, cut high in the waist.
- A black ponte skirt
- A black ponte jacket, particular style still to be determined.
- Replace black polyester tank with silk tank and/or silk tee for warmer weather.
- A black winter-weight cardigan, possibly cashmere, probably to be purchased, but this might change.
- A black summer-weight linen cardigan. Again probably not hand knit but you never know. I long ago learned never to say never. I do have a black and brown marled wool and linen cardigan in my closet that might serve here. To be determined.
- If I stick with the idea of a black core, a black summer skirt, and summer pants would also be useful.
- A black summer dress has long been on the list for the inevitable summer funerals.
It looks like a plan.

This is not the only plan. I am also currently planning and working on an evening capsule. More on that later.
January 23, 2024
Yes There are Still Book Posts

There are so many things I want to write about, and yet there are also things that I fell behind on during my sabbatical. I know I should just let them go, but I can't quite do that. I hope to continue to write at least one, and hopefully two posts most weeks, but I also worry that if I keep writing catch-up posts, I will remain constantly behind. Perhaps I will throw in an extra post or two, perhaps not. I haven't gotten that far yet. I can admit that I harbor a certain fear that if I write extra posts now, I might run out of things to say later.

It just so happened that I was at lunch with some friends last weekend when the conversation drifted into a discussion of a recent popular health book, a book that I had read at the beginning of September. The Book is Outlive by Peter Attia and it was a good discussion, a discussion that helped to clarify my thoughts on the book, which is good because they have been decidedly mixed.

First of all, I am a subscriber to Peter Attia's podcast, The Drive and it is probably the most worthwhile podcast I listen to regularly. I love the depth of information and I am one of those subscribers who will follow up on the links to research, who loves delving into the science. Attia notes in the acknowledgements section of the book that "my then publisher said my draft was too technical and lacked any sense of me as a person" leading him to revise and expand his initial draft. I am a person who would probably have loved that first, too technical, version. I don't find a great deal in this book that is new to anyone who keeps up with the research, or listens to and follows up on the information available on The Drive. I also find the lack of foot notes annoying. There are notes in the back of the book, and they are well worth following up on, but they are not specifically referenced in the text. Perhaps this too was a "publishing decision". I don't know.

Despite these quibbles, and they are quibbles, I am glad I read this book and I think more people should read it. There is a lot of valuable material here and it is presented in a clear and relatable manner. I am sure there are people whose reactions run the gamut of extremes concerning this book; any book that promotes thinking in new ways invites those responses.. I think the author did an admirable job and I appreciate the effort involved, especially in terms of telling his personal story. On that note I wish the mental health story had come earlier in the book, if only because the discussion on mindset, of being fixed in one place versus being open to new ideas, is critical to the book as a whole and I am not convinced all readers will get there.

Basically Attia is writing about health span, the years we live doing the things that we want to do, versus lifespan, the actual years of our life. It is an important discussion, as is the author's breakdown of the development of the history of healthcare and his advocating for something called "Healthcare 3.0". I do believe this is a great idea, and although Attia makes a noble effort, I don't think he fully escapes from a lifetime of being trained in Healthcare 2.0. But he does make us think and that is the true importance of this book. Recommended. I'm glad I read it, but I don't think it earned a permanent space on my shelves. I will however keep subscribing to Attia's podcast.

Since I've started with non-fiction, let's keep this post in that arena.

In October I read Michael Easter's Scarcity Brain. This book, in many ways, was more thought-provoking for me, although I can't say that the information it contained was specifically new. Easter made me think about things I knew, on the periphery at least, in new ways and discussed cultural trends that I actually hadn't spent enough time thinking about. Easter is basically writing about addictive behaviors, how we develop them and how to overcome them. In the process he also talks about how we have built a society that revolves around scarcity and accumulation and and uses research into brain neuroscience to drive us to want more. I found it fascinating but not profoundly life changing. The cover of the book appears to make this seem like a self-help book and I'm not convinced it actually works on that level. Nonetheless, I found the book interesting and entertaining, and I have been more overtly aware of the way everything, from news cycles to grocery store layouts, is designed to feed a scarcity impulse and to consider my behavior accordingly.

Perhaps my favorite non-fiction book of the fall was Jonathan Gornall's memoir How to Build a Boat. It is not a perfect book by any means, and there can be many given parts of it that are too much for any one reader, but I found it insightful and charming. Basically Mr. Gornall is writing about how, upon becoming a father again at 59, he decided to build a clinker-style dinghy for his newborn daughter. There is a great deal about boat building, a great deal about sailing, and an exploration of Gornall's own troubled family history both in terms of his childhood but also his previous foray into parenthood. Embarking on a parenthood he desperately wanted, filled with fears of not leaving this child the legacy of his upbringing, he embarks on a job far outside his skill set. Being a writer and a person who thinks far too much about things in general, he goes on and on about his process, about his doubts, about his fears. This is something that endears him to me. Is this not how most of us end up embarking on all the journeys that prove to be the most important to us? I found this book charming and completely satisfying. On top of all that, it has a happy ending.

Two other books:

John Phillip Newell's Sacred Earth, Sacred Soul was a book I wanted to love but ultimately didn't. There were a lot of things that appeal to me and can't really explain it. I very much agree with Newell's thesis about caring for the earth and the soul. Also much as I may agree with his thesis, I found his interpretation and research somewhat faulty. I was cheering when Newell brought up the disagreements that have occurred throughout Christian thought, and the decisions that have been made that have steered the faith in a particular direction and yet at the same time I felt the book lacked a certain historicity that I felt oversimplified many ideas. I can't say that it is just because I disagreed with the ideas in the book, because there are many books I love even if I disagree highly with the ideas, but those books all lead me to think about issues more deeply or look at ideas in new ways and this somehow did not. In fact I think that was what I struggled with here. I did not find new insights and I felt the information was overly simplified. I did attend a talk with the author, and I do think he would be a fascinating person to talk with, even if the book did not delight me.

And last, but not at all least, I raced through The Courage to Face Covid-19, John Leake's book about Dr. Peter McCullough, a doctor I greatly admire for standing up for his beliefs. The book is infuriating and incredibly sad; it reads like a thriller, which is not surprising as Leake is a true-crime reporter. The book is about how a staid, mainstream, highly regarded and well-respected researcher and physician found himself on the wrong side of a wall, becomingo a renegade against the establishment, his career practically destroyed. All this because he was trying to help patients that wanted his help. I don't really care where you stand in the politics of Covid, since most of what we are all told is politics and has nothing to do with science, this is a gripping book and there is a lot here that should make everyone uncomfortable. When did we become a world where politics and money is more important that human lives, and human choice? No matter what side of any argument you find yourself on, the one thing I do know is that no one is 100% right or 100% wrong. When we allow ourselves to forget human lives and human dignity, when we sacrifice people over principles or politics, we have lost our humanity.

January 20, 2024
2023 Projects in Review (picture heavy post)

I am happy with my sewing and knitting progress throughout 2023. I finished 11 knitted garments, I embroidered quite a few baptismal towels although I don't remember the exact count. Perhaps I should keep track of that. And I sewed three garments that I have kept and wear, one garment that I wore a few times and donated, and a few things I just trashed. I don't regret that. In retrospect I realize that my heart wasn't really in it at the time. Chalk failures up to learning experiences and move on.

Many of these garments were posted to the blog, but not all of them. Besides, I like having them all combined in one place.

In January I finished a wrap dress that was supposed to be finished in December. I wore it three times but never felt quite like myself in it.

I was happy with the construction of the dress, especially the way I had matched the small print at the back of the neckband, perfectly centered and then curving away symmetrically, a detail no one would ever notice but me. I was less happy with the fit in that the front bodice was slightly shorter than I was actually comfortable wearing. This had been a design decision, deciding that raising the waist was a more flattering silhouette, but in terms of comfort, we raised it too high. I had enough fabric remaining to recut the bodice, and I considering doing just that, but a wise friend reminded me that although recutting the bodice would fix the fit, it would not affect the style disconnect I felt wearing the dress. The dress was donated.

Aside from a couple of baptismal towels, there was a bit of a lull, in terms of completions, until the daily temperature blanket I had been knitting for 2023 was finally completed on March 1. I almost immediately started a baby blanket for my first great-grand-neice even though I was pretty darn close to being "blanketed out" by that point. But still, babies….

April brought more baptismal towels, and several works in progress,

Aside from the baby blanket, above, three other, fairly quick, projects were finished in May. Two were accessories. The socks were knit from yarn I received as a Christmas gift, and the brioche headband was a beginner brioche project begun at a knitting retreat.

I also finished the first of several tees or tops. This one, Anise, was knit from a cotton/rayon/silk blend yarn from Noro.

At this point I started another long project, a simple but large rectangular shawl in a lace weight silk. That was finished in early July.

Faster projects followed;

Another Noro tee was finished in August.

The tee was followed by an airy little linen cardigan in early September,

and another tee by the end of the month.

Another tee was finished in October. This yarn came from deep stash, purchased at a store that has long since closed. The colors make this suitable for wear throughout the fall, and into spring.

October saw me reentering the sewing room for more than baptismal towels (although I did make three of those in October and early November.) I finished this skirt, out of a stretch faux suede, which I have since worn several times and somehow always failed to take a picture. The pattern is by VikiSews.

And by the very end of November, I finished my last knitted object of 2023, another cotton shell/vest. This was a Rowan Pattern and I assembled it, and wore it the first time while traveling in Texas over Thanksgiving weekend. The photo above was taken on Christmas Eve.

In early December I finished a dress I had started in November, before my travels, and finished later. (Posted to the blog in December as well.). I also made a simple scarf/shawl, made from putting two pieces of chiffon together, one a peach that was somewhat too orange, and the other a pink that leaned a little to close to bubble-gum in hue. I like the combination of the two colors and together they make something wearable for me. Besides, pink and orange has always been one of my favorite color combinations.

January 16, 2024
Here a tweak, there a tweak

I've been sewing.

I need clothes. I can buy clothes. But somehow last year I didn't want to buy clothes. Yet I've been more successful in making summer clothes and remiss about winter clothes. I also have a fair number of dressy casual to dressy specialty pieces, and am short on basics. Something had to change.

I realized that in terms of every day wear that could be dressed up or down, I was wearing one of two pairs of jeans, or a pair dark gray ponte pants that are probably at least 6 or 7 years old. I like the lines of the pants and they mostly work if I wear a long top over them, as seen here. The fitting issues are mostly above the legs. They bag a bit in the seat, the front crotch is too long, and too deep; the back crotch seam is too short. They pants are meant to be just below the waist and they are faced, without a waistband. I do not like the way the facing is sewn in, and the pants do skew as I wear them (torso portion only) but that is not unusual for me in pants. You would not know any of this to look at me.

The plan was to make one or two pairs of black pants, then to take these pants apart and add length to the center back, using the facing piece then applying a new facing using the black ponte. The pants originally had a side zipper, but that was removed when the pants were cut down in size two years ago. I never used the zipper anyway as the pants are stretchy enough to pull on and off, and I do not like really tight clothes.

First up: Pattern. I have patterns for darted faced pants much like these, but they are all cut for non-stretch woven fabrics, with wider legs. I have a muslin I fitted with friends 4 years ago (?) which is now too big but is a good starting point. That was traced from a pair of Nick and Zoe pants I loved, but which had the same issue with being cut too long in front and too short in back. And I found these two patterns in my stash, both of which are similar cuts to the Nick and Zoe pants (which I no longer own).

Style Arc Beth, which I purchased not that long ago because I had forgotten that I had also purchased Style Arc Sage (below). Looking at both patterns now, I think that Beth may be a better option for me because of the waistband. But I may experiment with both patterns as I move into making spring pants simply because I like pattern play.

I pulled out both patterns and compared them to my fitted muslin, ultimately deciding to put them aside for now as I really wanted something simpler with straight lines, a high waist and a waist band. Enter this pattern from Simplicity, which I bought on a whim a couple of years ago while I was flipping through patter catalogs at Joann while my mom shopped. I thought it would make a perfect, simple wardrobe for working at home and dog walking but nice enough to go out. I still think that.

I next compared my fitted muslin (from a few years ago, but which I knew fit through the crotch curve) to the tracing of the gray ponte pants and the simplicity pattern. They gray ponte pants were very close to the simplicity pattern, the main difference being that the legs were straighter and hence slightly wider at the hem than the gray pants. I decided to go with the simplicity pattern.

I traced the simplicity/gray ponte pattern on to paper (green) and then traced the pant muslin pattern from a couple of years ago over the top of it to compare (pink). This is one of the back pieces. On the fitted muslin, the right and left pieces are different. The simplicity is symmetrical and I simply flipped the pattern.

From all this, I cut a new pattern. Is it sewing yet? Well, yes, it is part of the process, and I've learned I love the math and the pattern process as much as the actual construction.

At this point everything went together well and I tried on my first pair of pants. They fit mostly well through the hips, but the legs biased. This is not unusual. I rarely get much visible bias on new RTW pants, meaning the legs hang straight, but the torso part of the pant strains and biases around my body. It has always been this way, and I admit that when I was young I didn't know any better. I do miss loosely cut wide pleated pants from the 80s and 90s because they hung from the waistband, and there was often enough fabric that the biasing effect was not as evident. There is a lesson for me in that.

I marked, very roughly with chalk, where the side seams on the legs "should" have been. Not an easy task while wearing the pants, and then cut those pieces off, moved the seams to the appropriate locations and cut a new pair of pants. This is not quite as straightforward as it sounds because the basic geometry of pants still applies. The waistband has to be parallel to the floor. The hems as well, and the side seams running perpendicular to the floor, visually. But the legs of the pants are now skewed in relationship to the torso, or is it the other way around. This was more noticeable on the front pattern pieces than the back, which is not surprising from what I know of my own scoliosis and body torsion. This meant that I needed to redraw the grainlines, and I took my time with this to be sure I did it correctly. This also explains why I almost always need more fabric to cut pants than is recommended in the pattern guidelines.

Success! The next pair of pants worked. Center front, back and side seams were all in their proper places. The pants hung straight without skewing. I was really tired the next day (Thursday) however and did not finish the pants.

Yesterday I was determined to attach the waistband, hem the pants and cut and sew a second pair. I didn't. But I don't consider that a failure. Once I put the waistband on the pants, I noticed a few small fitting glitches that I thought could be tweaked for better fit. Once accomplished, those changes could be transferred to the pattern for the next pair of pants. But it was dinner time, and I know that I do not need to be cutting, sewing, or serging in the evening, especially working in tight spaces of partially constructed garments. I decided I would finish the pants this morning, and did so.

I still have to hem the pants, but I am very happy with them. They are not perfect, but I don't need perfect. They are better than what I have been wearing. I also learned a lot about fit and geometry and comfort.

I think I will cut the next pair narrower through the leg, more like the cut on the gray pants. The second pair will be much faster to construct because most of the pattern work is done, but there may still be small tweaks simply because I am using different fabric.

Pant sewing is not likely to happen today (except for those hems). I have a baptismal towel to embroider and hem. But I think I gained far more than just a pair of pants in this process. I'm sure there will be ups and downs over the course of the year and I hope to share them all with you. Mostly, today, I am just happy and excited for future projects.

January 13, 2024
A Quick Jaunt to New York, Part Two

Apologies up front for the delay in this post.

And now onto the actual reason for my trip.

I met a friend, and we went to hear this concert. I was looking forward to hearing the pianist, who plays beautifully, and I am fairly familiar with the Glass Piano Quintet, which I have heard live a few Times now, as well as on its recorded version with Brooklyn Rider. I was not familiar with the other two works, although I am aware that there is a recent recording of Paul Barnes performing the Victoria Bond work, Illuminations on Byzantine chant. I did not research or listen to the two works I did not know. I kind of like to go in to concerts blind and see how I react to the music. Perhaps not sophisticated, or educated, but this is how it is.

The concert was held at St Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church and shrine, at the World Trade Center, which I would have assumed was glass, but actually it is marble. As with the music, I didn't read about the church before going either. Perhaps I should have, perhaps not. I am often torn when traveling about the need to do research and learn what I "should" see, hear, think or do, and my own contrarian nature, my determination to be guided loosely, but to see what I see and learn what I learn. I am certain there are gains and losses involved in both approaches. Anyway, below is my photograph of the church as we arrived for the concert. I thought it was an interestingly beautiful structure, both sublime and yet also, in certain lights, or in its absence, quiet and almost strict and subdued. I am sure there is more to think on there.

The space was small, and there were many chairs. This photograph is of the piano, and the interior of the church from my seat on the front row.

As you might surmise, we were very close to the music. This was an excellent position for the two solo piano pieces. Paul Barnes, plays beautifully and is one of my favorite pianists. Watching and listening to him is a feast, both aurally and visually. I swear even his hands, his fingers, express emotion as they play. The experience is mesmerizing and entrancing.

Of the two piano pieces, the work by J.A.C. Redford was the one that moved me the most, filled with a deep emotionality that felt simultaneously both calming and uplifting. This listener felt enveloped in a sense of a deep slowing breath, with momentary bursts of awe.

This is where you are lucky. When I first started writing this post, I wished I could hear it again, wished I could tell you more about the work itself, but it remained elusive. However, during the time this post was delayed due to my post-holiday bout with illness, Paul Barnes released a video of the performance of this work, a performance I can link to here. (below).

I still enjoy listening to this piece. I don't know that I was familiar at all with Redford, except that when I looked him up following the concert I learned that I am in fact familiar with a surprising amount of his music, although not enough. I will need to seek his work out.

Now, because I am being fair, I will also include a link to a video of a portion of the Victoria Bond. This was also a lovely work, and I do recall thinking how well Bond writes for the piano, how much I wanted to play part of the work, to feel the music beneath my fingers, even though I have not played for decades and do not play well. I found the work intellectually interesting, and at times even exciting. For this listener however, the Bond piece satisfied intellectually, but resonated less deeply on an emotional level. Still, it was a satisfying pairing, two pieces of music, both addressing issues of faith, that appealed to very different parts of what it means to be human.

For the Phillip Glass Annunciation Quintet, the string quartet was sandwiched between the piano and the first row of chairs. I was sitting in almost knee to knee in proximity to violinist Pauline Kim and it was a marvelous experience. Being this close to the musicians did not offer the best position for hearing the work itself as a whole, as much of the sound essentially lifted above us, but the structure of the entire piece was present and it gave a detailed experience of one part of the conversation that made up the music. I could read both violinist's music, I could hear both violinists clearly and relate what I saw of their music to their technique and the sound as a part of the whole. It was like being contained in a bubble inside the work itself. The performance was fascinating and engrossing and intimate in a way I hadn't yet experienced in a concert, and quartet music is, by its very nature, intimate. This was very different from my previous experience of the Glass Quintet. I was blown away, fascinated and enchanted by the performance, the playing of the group as a whole yes, but particularly the violinist as I felt encased in a subset of the world being created musically. I've always felt that the best chamber music is always a closely held conversation. This felt much like being caught in the midst of the music itself.

Admittedly it took me a good while just to integrate my experience of the concert with some kind of return to "real life". I was kind of lost in a kind of interspace for the rest of the evening. We attended a lovely dinner with the artists. I'm never the most social with people I have just met, really preferring to listen and I loved listening to everyone around me. But I was also still in my musical cloud as well. Not that I see any loss in that. The entire evening was a fabulous experience.

January 9, 2024
A Letter from Garbo

Good morning!

This is Garbo reporting for my mom, who has been "under the weather", a term I don't really understand as the weather has been just fine — cold and sunny and crisp — the kind of weather that makes me want to run and play. Mom must mean something different though because she has been miserable and sick and droopy, spending days in bed, sneezing, coughing, sleeping, and moaning. I have been worried about her and do not want to leave her side.

Mom is better today, but I am worn out from looking after her. She did say her head still hurts and I could write this post for her because she can't "think". But I know she is better because she woke up, jumped into the shower humming. She hasn't hummed for at least three or four night cycles. And she stripped all the soft things off the bed and hauled them down to the big box in the basement that makes swishy noises.

We even took a walk this morning! Not a long one, just as far as the white house down the street with the pillars on the porch. They have a dog there I like, he is white like me, but a little more rambunctious. Once he ran out to play and wouldn't go back in and everyone was running around trying to catch him. He is not allowed to play with me anymore. I want to play with everyone. But he doesn't live there all the time either, I am told his mom lives elsewhere and brings him to visit.

But the walk was exciting because so much has happened in my neighborhood since I was last able to sniff around. We hadn't been out of sight of my house in days, so I had a lot of catching up to do. Mom tells me that if she manages her energy well we can take another walk later. What is it with humans and this idea of managing things anyway? I do like walks though.

Mom tells me I am getting distracted. I am supposed to tell you that she will be back writing soon. She had (has?) something called Covid but she is getting better. I know she is getting better because she sat on the sofa last night and knitted for hours, the first time she has done that in days as well. She would pet me occasionally as I rested my head on her knee, but not often enough. She is knitting this thing called a shawl and she can only pet me at the end of rows. Those rows take an awfully long time.

Mom also tells me we are going to go to the studio today! She is going to work on a baptismal towel. I left my turkey toy in the studio and I miss him, so I will be glad to play with him again. But for now, I need a nap. I do hope your day is filled with runs in the sunshine, sleeps, snuggles, and belly rubs.

Garbo.

January 2, 2024
Catching Up

I finished a sweater while I was traveling in Texas in late November and early December although I am only now getting around to posting photos.

The pattern is Veronique by Chloe Thurlow from Rowan Magazine No. 73, Summer 2023. The above photo is from the magazine. The design is knit it Rowan's Handknit Cotton, which is a worsted weight cotton. I knit my version in a cotton yarn from Malabrigo called Verano. In my experience, Rowan's Handknit Cotton and Malabrigo Verano knit to exactly the same gauge, but the Malabrigo is lighter in weight. The Rowan yarn comes in at 186 yards per 100 grams and the Malabrigo is 205 yards per 100 grams. A seemingly small difference that is nonetheless noticeable in the drape and weight of the finished sweater.

In my hot humid climate, neither yarn works for me as a summer yarn but both produce garments that are perfect for the transitional seasons of Spring and Fall, and even for the milder winter days here in Tennessee. This sweater was knit not so much as a summer sweater therefore but as a transitional and layering piece. For that reason also I made the sweater slightly on the boxy side, as shown in the photo in the Rowan magazine.

There are a couple of things I noted about the sweater before starting. On the model, the focal point of the joining of the colors occurs slightly below the fullest part of the bust, but just below that point, probably not a full inch, guessing here, based on the photos in the magazine. This is fine on a younger, and perhaps not very full-busted model. This means that accurate measurements, and some fudging in the actual knitting are critical, as I am not sure that this would be particularly flattering if the design lines cross at exactly the full bust, at least not on most women.

One possibility is to make the top, yoke-portion, shorter, so that the dividing line is clearly above the bust line, and the lower portion is longer. This would be particularly flattering on someone who is not only fuller through the bust, has a longer length from bust point to shoulder, and/or is short through the torso, or short waisted. The advantage of knitting our own sweaters after all, is to create garments that are most flattering to the impression we, as individuals, wish to portray.

That short-on-top- long on bottom silhouette would not work so well for me however as I am long through the torso. My distance from shoulder to full bust is shorter than average in terms of most patterns (both sewing and knitting) and the distance below the bust to my waist is longer than average. To balance my figure, I would want the division line between the colors to be below the fullest part of the bust in order to lengthen that top portion, rather than accenting my long-waistedness.

In think I was fairly successful with that. I wanted this sweater to be very close to waist-length, which meant I did have to lengthen it slightly, and the bottom section is a few rows longer than specified in the pattern. I did not alter the top section at all, except for slight modifications at the shoulder line, as the length in the pattern ended clearly below my full bust. The dividing lines on this pattern fall slightly below the bottom of my brassiere band. I think it works for me, although it is also possible that I could have made the top portion every so slightly shorter, a row or two perhaps. This is not a big enough problem to make it worth fretting over and I am happy with the sweater as it is,

December 26, 2023
A Quick Jaunt to New York, Part One.

I took a quick trip to New York in mid December, leaving on a Monday morning and back in my own bed by Wednesday night.

The trip was planned around a concert, but while in the city my friend Liana and I also made it up to the Metropolitan Museum of art to see the "Women Dressing Women" exhibit and managed a little bit of fabric shopping in the garment district. I was admittedly not ambitious, feeling no need to be out seeing and doing everything, and yet it was still enough.

Most of the photos in this post are from the Women Dressing Women exhibit. Somehow I neglected to identify some of the dresses, and so there may not be information forthcoming along the lines of "who, what, when, or where" the all important rules of identification that were drilled into me in my youth. Most of the things that appealed to me were antique or vintage. It also struck me, and this is definitely a biased interpretation, that the more sophisticated clothing has become, technologically, the less creatively appealing it has become to me in an organic sense. Again, my own interpretations of what is and what is not creative, what does and does not flatter. All is subjective and ephemeral, perhaps even generational, arising from the relationship of the wearer to the world in which she lives. My own connection to the world has already been shaped and formed by a world that is already in the past. I do not wish to live in the past, and yet nor can I completely escape it.

I was particularly excited to see a dress by Lucile Ltd from 1922. (not a dress I would actually wear) You might recall that I read a novel A Dress of Violet Taffeta in late summer and had wanted to see more garments designed by Lucile, Lady Duff Gordon. I had gotten the impression from the novel that Lady Duff Gordon was no longer the exclusive designer for Lucile Ltd by the 1920s. My understanding may be faulty, and it is perhaps insignificant. Anyway the dress was a thrill, and it reminded me of the story and the writing about the colors and drape and flow of chiffon.

I am not posting these photos in their order in the show.

Although I may not have recorded details about most of the dresses some are still quite identifiable. The dress above for example is classic Hanae Mori. I was fascinated by Hanae More as a child, and would daydream of a life in her clothes. My interest continued as young adult and I would clip photos from magazines whenever I could find them. Yet it had been some years since I had thought of Hanae Mori's designs or realized that this youthful fascination had played a role in my own aesthetic.

Many of these things I would wear today, although I wouldn't necessarily do the work involved in creating them.

Mostly I think the show was both inspiring in terms of design and ideas but also serving as a focal point reminding me of the layering of my own perspective onto the world and onto clothes.

This was similar in many ways to the shopping jaunts I made into the garment district. I found that my attentions were far more focosed than they are when I am, for example, fabric shopping online. I found that although a room full of fabrics and fabric samples can initially seem overwhelming, my brain narrows and winnows out the excess in a very specific way, something that does not happen with online shopping. Of course more sense are involved in the process: Visual acuity, because actual three-dimensional fabric looks different than any photograph; scent; touch, including softness, structure, drape; even sound, the scroop of certain fabrics, some silks especially, when rubbed together; scent. , scent, touch. My viewing of dresses at the metropolitan, and my perusal of fabrics held a common thread even though there was no direct line between the kinds of garments I was observing and the fabrics or garments I was contemplating.

I wouldn't have thought the experiences would have been related at all, other than an interest in clothes. But I found myself surprised by insights and connections, to music as well. But that is another post.

December 23, 2023
Slowly, slowly

I mentioned in my last post that I had intended to write about sewing but my thoughts wandered. I haven't forgotten that post. I still wish to write it, and yet, since my last trip, and my last blog post, I have not done much in the sewing room.

That doesn't mean I don't want to catch up. One of the highlights of my year, and especially the fall months, has been both a return to sewing and, more generally, a renewed focus on handwork in general. And I have wanted to record that progress in some way, to write about what I am doing and what it means to me, not so much because there is anything particularly special or skilled about my efforts but because it is my nature I suppose to think excessively, increasingly to go slowly, and to natter on.

In early November I devoted a few straight days to working on sewing, as opposed to other projects in the studio. I spent some days drawing patterns on muslin, cutting, sewing, fitting two patterns I wanted to make.

I had so much fun!

I had forgotten how much I enjoyed the process itself completely separately from the thrill of wearing the clothes. I was reminded how important it was to give myself time, to allow myself to play. How important it is to just make things, simple or complex, mistakes and all.

I am very fortunate. I do not have to make my own clothing to have something to wear. I can afford to buy clothes. And simple garments are really not that complicated or difficult, unless one is inclined toward complexity or detail. I am also in an odd place in that I probably actually need some clothes, but I do not feel inclined to rush out and fill my closet to the rafters. I want to make what I make, wear what I wear, be it simple or fancy. Even if what I make is a total mess, I might still wear it. I am past the stage in my life where I feel I need to impress anyone with any accomplishments or skills or talents. Perhaps I am at that stage in my life where I can be proud to be a novice again.

I realized a few things. First off, I need a full-length mirror in the sewing studio, preferably a three-part one. I do have a mirror in the master bedroom, in the house, not the studio. That means that I am constantly running back and forth from the studio, which is above the garage, a separate building from the house, into the house and up the stairs to the master bedroom. And the reverse. The process of running down and up stairs, back and forth, trying on, pinning, running, sewing, running again, reassessing, pinning, and so forth, again and again and again, is not tenable.

One of my first projects for the new year is to find a mirror and figure out where to put it. I also think I need a full-sized tripod with a mount for my iPhone. The combination of mirror and camera will help considerably. Of course this also means that there will be an entirely new learning process involved. Sounds like fun. More playtime!

A tripod also means I can probably make some attempt at styling and photographing finished objects. I don't know how well that will take as I am not comfortable in front of a camera. I am perfectly happy employing Abigail as a model, as seen above in a dress I did finish and wear to several holiday parties.

The dress pattern itself is fairly simple. I used the Cadence Dress Pattern from Love Notions. The fabric is a lightweight rayon crepe. I lined the dress, which was not necessary, but makes me happy. I also messed up cutting the lining therefore making the process even more of a challenge. But I managed to pull it all together. The dress is wearable and I like it.

The lining on the sleeve flare makes me particularly happy. I want to swan around, making sweeping gestures with my arms. Silliness, yes. But what is life without a little silliness?

December 21, 2023
The Tenth Year

It seems the urge to write is slowly returning, not so much out of some misplaced sense of obligation but rather because I seem to miss this space.

It struck me recently that this year marks ten years since my husband, George, died. It is not something I think about much any more, although that is not because I have forgotten, or he was not an important part of my life. His presence is always with me, as is my ever-present but unspoken acknowledgement of how his presence shaped the person I am today.

All of this to say that I don't know why that number, ten, resonates so deeply with me today. It is not the anniversary of any specific date. I didn't expect to be writing this post. Actually I started out writing about sewing, but something shifted, and that post got turned aside. Perhaps my brain is just seeking out patterns, of trying to make sense of life. It struck me, that this year, the year after a few had years, hard years for everyone, I am not one to say that my struggles or any harder than other person's, has proven to be a year of closure and of new beginnings. And the tenth anniversary of a loss also marks a closure of its own sort.

A year or two, perhaps two, after George died, a very wise woman, a retired psychiatrist told me that, in her experience, many people took a long time to recover from the loss of a long-term spouse. She mentioned something about ten years or so, which struck me, because all the pop-psych google-type gobbledygook that grieving takes one year, as if any human experience can be reduced to a simple formula. I know now of course that so little of grief is about the initial rending of loss. There is the loss of the beloved, the loss of a part of one's very psyche, the painful process of redefinition, of reforming who one is as one instead of a part of two, and then after all those wounds have been healed and the scars have faded there is the process of learning who one has become, what new growth has come forth.

I suppose it is not so far from so much of life: leaving the sanctity of the womb to be born, leaving home, making a new home, making a family, fledging that very family. Careers, roles, life choices, all roll across our paths. We all have many paths, many selves, and this is just another branch off that same tree. I am not trying to lessen anything here, this is simply the space I find myself inhabiting today.

I think that what has actually struck me today is that I've had lots of goals, lots of roles or careers, or whatever you want to call them. I've made lots of plans. Some have gone sideways. Some have not. This particular iteration of me doesn't really have any plans. Oh a few short term thoughts here and there, but basically I am much more open to just letting things happen than my younger self might have been, even my ten-years-younger self. It has been an eventful ten years. Ten years since George died. Eleven year since leaving New York State and moving to Tennessee. Nine years post back surgery. Six years post buying a house on my own and moving yet again. Four years post renovating said house. Two years post breast cancer. One year post a flirtation with heart-failure and a series of cardioversions and ablations and finally slowing down uncontrollable atrial flutter.

I know who I am and I also know that I know nothing. I don't know what I am doing. I don't know what tomorrow brings. I actually don't need to know either of those things. Whatever happens is going to happen whatever I think about it. I am 65 years old and I don't need to have a plan. I don't need to change the world. I've done my time, made my plans, conquered, failed, started over. I know the world can't break me unless I let it. That is all the strength I need. Now I just need to be open to whatever is going to happen. Or perhaps it is just that I am willing to admit I don't have any choice in what the world does. But I do have a choice in how I embrace the world.

Somehow, that last sentence feels like Christmas to me.

December 15, 2023