Author: 459856pwpadmin

  • Update

    Where have I been?  Here of course.  I've been doing many things, things seemingly scattered and unconnected, but, when I think about it, this is not really the case.  I've been busy living and crafting, and just doing the things that make life fulfilling and meaningful for me.  I've been busy but not too busy.  Most of all, I have let the unfolding of each day determine the schedule of what needs doing, or not doing, whichever the case may be.  I have come to the conclusion that this is the beauty of retirement.   I have a roof over my head.  I have clothes to cover my body and a bed to sleep in.  I have food. Yes, time is required, sometimes more than other, to the acts of preparing, procuring and maintaining, but generally I have reached the enviable place where I need march to no one's drummer but my own.

     

    One thing I have been doing is sitting.  

    Turquoise

    I pulled together this little seating area last week, and I've found myself here often since, coffee, or water, or wine in hand, enjoying a summer breeze and surveying my garden.  This came together on a whim.  I had gone to Cost Plus World Market to pick up something where I encountered these little chairs on sale.  An idea was born.  

     

    Previously there had been planters in this corner, planters I kept filled with flowers in the spring, but which had died during the course of my travels in late May.  The options are limited as there is little sun, and little access to rainwater.  I grew bored with constantly watering the planters considering all they did was sit there, waiting to be noticed whenever I walked too or from the garage.  The planters, which I did not like anyway but felt I must use because I had them, have been banished.  And now I have a lovely shady place to sit and survey my gardens, and the progress I have made in beating back the jungle of weeds that was threatening to take over after a very wet June and July, and a chief gardener (me), who refused to work outside when the air was filled with smoke or excess humidity.

     

    It is a good place to be.   

     

    But surely that is not all.  Oh there have been the normal things.  I've been cooking.  Another sweater is almost finished.  There was another baptismal towel for my church, a small amount of progress on needlepoint, some garment mending and alterations.  A dress is half-made and another is ready to be cut out.  

     

    Mostly however, the organizational bug has bitten, and I have fallen into its clutches.

     

    My friend Marjorie visited and she inspired me to return to the studio,  Hence the dress, and a renewed interest in sewing, but also in finally unpacking the yarn stash and finishing up the studio organization.   Somehow that manifested itself with the urge to tackle the knitting library and knitting pattern stash.  Part of the problem is that I would unpack some yarn that was packaged with some cryptic note like "Anny Blast Sweater #1".  But which sweater #1, from which Anny Blast book?  I subscribed to them for years.  Some of them were cut up and scanned into my computer when I moved here from NY.  I did have a database but the program that I used has since been abandoned by the manufacturer and I can't access most of it.   It is possible I don't want to make whatever it was anyway, but even so, it would be good to know what pattern options I already own suitable for x yarn of y gauge.

    KnitPatIndex

    I started with Ravelry's library feature, which I have admittedly underutilized.  If I had realized its power, it might have made packing easier even when I moved to Tennessee from New York 12 years ago.  But regret only drags the mind through the mire.  And having a powerful database already at hand has helped.  I still have had to go through my dropbox full of pdf files, and find the appropriate references in Ravelry but it remains faster and easier than building a database from scratch.  But I do own books and patterns that are not in Ravelry's index, so I still have to build a supplemental database as well.  My Ravelry library currently lists 3287 patterns, and my database, which  I am building on Tap Forms, currently contains another 411 patterns.  And I am not done.  There is a collection of Rowan Magazines and Vogue Knitting Magazines which I have only just begun to index.  And yes, I probably could edit some things out.  Patterns I have already knit are included.  I will not knit thousands of items in the years remaining in my life.  But I see no point in eliminating potential ideas until I also unpack ad sort the yarn stash, although admittedly a handful of patterns have been tossed. 

     

    Life is a process.  I had previously cataloged fabric, and patterns, and the yarn I have already unpacked. These files have already proven their usefulness.   This is a big job I have been putting off for years, and it is proving, thanks to Ravelry, to be not quite as onerous as I had feared.  As I look at patterns, as I venture into my yarn closet to find my next project, my mind is filled with exciting ideas.

     

    I may be in the latter third of my life (no denying that) but excitement and new beginnings are ongoing.

     

     

  • Airiness

    I knit a shawl, a light airy beautiful shawl.

    Elisabetta3

    The pattern is a simple grid, almost mindless, at times pushing on tedious.  Perhaps it was still a little too soon after my blanket marathons to begin a simple rectangular shawl, but the results are wonderful.

    Elisabetta2

    Pattern:  Elisabetta Damask Shawl by Cecelia Campochiaro

    Yarn: A Verb For Keeping Warm Shimmering Tussah Lace in color Dewdrop

    IsabellaBlock

    I knit this on size 6 needles, which was the recommended needle size.  I didn't check my gauge, though I am a loose knitter and my shawl was slightly larger than the pattern specified.  I didn't worry about it, and I like the final result, which is really all that matters.  

    Elisabetta5

     

    Next up, something with a bit of a lace panel, a sweater, also on size 6 needles, so it should be a fairly quick knit. 

     

    LilacNoro

  • This is what 65 Looks Like

    Returning to something I started a few years ago.

     

    65

     

    Early morning, fresh face, no filters.  I haven't even had my first sip of coffee yet.

     

     

  • Dipping My Toes Back Into Book Posts

    I've been contemplating book posts:  How do I approach them?  Do I even wish to write about books? And if so, what is it I actually want to write about or say?  Does it matter what I think? I am not a critic, I don't think my mind is wired that way, at least not completely (Ask my college English Professor, the one who said I was perfectly well suited to a career writing book blurbs but could not aspire to much beyond that).  Although I adore literary fiction, and I read widely across genres,  I often dislike extremely popular novels and adore extremely sappy ones.  Even if my opinion is irrelevant in the greater scheme of things, which is actually the case, does the act of writing a book post bring some clarity to me about my own thinking?  It might.  Ultimately that may be the crux.  If I have already said this blog is something I write for myself, and so I have, how do book posts figure into my own understanding of myself as seen in my reading life?  

     

    I suppose I'll never know what I think, or how I wish to proceed, unless I just jump in.  So here goes.   Today I am writing about books that I read in late May, during a trip to Texas,  and in June.  If I feel this works, I will continue monthly book posts from here on out, assuming I have something to say about what I am reading.  Or perhaps the obverse.  Perhaps what I am reading has something to tell me about who I am. 

     

    Screen Shot 2023-07-02 at 1.40.02 PMI started my period of travels with Sheena Patel's novel I'm A Fan, which I completely adored even though it was a challenging read. The story is told in a series of short chapters consisting of interior monologues by a female, non-white, 30-something, second-generation immigrant living somewhere in London.   From the opening line — "I stalk a woman on the internet who is sleeping with the same man I am." — I was drawn into this story even though much of the scenario it portrays feels foreign, and in some ways even incomprehensible, to me. Some of this may be generational, and I would, in fact, love to discuss this book with a younger reader,  millennial perhaps, someone whose experiences of life through the lens of social media are quite different from mine.   I think this would be fascinating, and we would both learn a great deal.

     

    But back to the book. The protagonist is a smart, educated, driven.  She has practically engineered a place for herself in the life of a successful and famous artist. Yet. she has also allowed herself to fall victim to this very asymmetrical, manipulative relationship, even as she is fully aware of and questions her own motives.  Manipulation is endemic to this novel, and it defines all relationships and all parties.  Still, I found myself rooting for this young woman.  

     

    In the process of telling the story there are periodic, and searingly blunt, meditations on male/female power dynamics; social media and the way it shapes and perhaps perverts our understanding of reality; the way the pursuit of influence and even fandom risks a sacrifice of our true selves and true voices; and white privilege — especially the way that privilege interacts and shapes the worlds of art and literature.  A series of short chapters in the middle of the novel, aptly beginning with the title "There's no business like" are particularly damning and cringe-worthy to this reader because they hit uncomfortably close to home.  It is a compelling and thought-provoking novel which I will not soon forget.  The blurirng of lines between the conventions that define fiction and what appears to be nonfiction, are powerfully drawn and profoundly insightful.  I will undoubtedly read this again; I believe it is worth that.


    Next followed some lighter reading.  First up were a couple of light novels which I would classify as historical fiction/romance.  Both were novels my mom had recently read. Both proved to be good jumping off places for conversations during my visit, not the least because they both also included some reference to fashion or needlework.  

     

    Screen Shot 2023-07-02 at 2.02.56 PMThe first was The Girl Who Wrote in Silk by Kelli Estes, a story set the Pacific Northwest, primarily Orcas Island.  The story is told in a dual timeline, alternating between the story of Inara Erikson, who discovers an embroidered sleeve from a Chinese garment hidden in her family's house, and the story of Mei Lien, whose family was destroyed because of the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1892 and who ultimately embroidered the sleeve as a way of passing on her story, and that of her family, to her son. I was deeply engaged in Mei Lien's story; less so in Inara's.  Once Inara discovers the sleeve, she contacts a Chinese historian, and there is some discussion about the origin and dating of the sleeve based on extant pieces of embroidery.  This original supposition regarding the dating proves be incorrect, but interesting, as it leads to discoveries about the ways history gets misrepresented and intertwined with personal stories in ways that are often unexpected and misperceived by later generations. Mei Lien's story was at times quite upsetting and difficult; and Estes did embroider the actual history for effect, although she does address this an explanatory note. I actually found that this played into the story in this case, and it didn't really bother me.  In fact, I tend to like books that make me think about bigger things, even flawed books.

     

    Although the ending of the novel felt rushed to me, it also felt hopeful, and I think this too is a good thing.  I would hope that at least some readers would be intrigued enough to look further into Chinese American history or the story of the Exclusion Act, as well as toward working to overcome our pasts to build better futures. I do think it is through our stories that we discover who we are, especially those stories where perhaps we learn that we are not who we thought we were. I do not think there is any culture or country or civilization in human history that has not treated immigrants or "others" badly at some point or another, but it is only by admitting our failings that we can also strive to achieve the dreams of our better natures.  At any rate, I don't believe I would read this book again, and although she is not an author I might seek out, I would probably read another of her novels.

     

    Screen Shot 2023-07-02 at 2.23.01 PMThe second novel on my stack from mom was a rather heart-warming bit of fluff by Jade Beer called The Last Dress from Paris.  Here we have another story set in two alternating timelines, although in this novel I felt that both stories were more equally balanced.  In one story line, set in 2017, Lucille is given a birthday trip to Paris by her grandmother Sylvie, with instructions to retrieve a Dior dress. Lucille cannot imagine how her grandmother had ever come to own a Dior dress, but she is up for the challenge.  In the alternate timeline Alice Ainsley, the wife of the British Ambassador, throws fabulous parties, wears Dior and leads a life that many would envy.  But Alice's marriage is cold and her husband is more interested in power and control than in love or relationship.   Lucille discovers pretty quickly that there are in fact seven dresses, and that the one her grandmother specifically requested is missing.  A search begins.  The dress is found, and Lucille discovered that it originally belonged to Alice. The mystery continues: How did Sylvie get the dress?  How do these lives intersect?  I loved the way the story of Alice, Silvie, and Lucille was woven into the story of the seven dresses, and the details about Dior and construction of the dresses themselves.    I also liked the way the mystery and the story of the dresses, helped Lucille to explore her own options, to create her own story, as well as to discover the story of her grandmother, a woman she thought she knew, at least in her role as Granny Sylvie, but did not know at all because the story of Alice had been held closely as a secret.  This resonated with me because we all do this to some extent, even though our stories may not be as dramatic as the story of Alice.  We think we know our families — our mothers and our grandmothers — but we only know them as role players in the family saga, as how we perceive them in relation to our own stories.  Perhaps part of growing up, of becoming fully who we can be also taking a step outside of our own preconceived notions, involves learning to see our parents as the fully developed, and often complicated people they actually are. Perhaps part of growing up then also means letting go of those hurts and finding humanity.  

     

      Screen Shot 2023-07-02 at 4.49.36 PMThe fourth book on my list was an even faster read.  I'll admit I chose to read Spare by Prince Harry simply because it is so polarizing.  I know people who are all for Harry and Meghan, I know people who are appalled by them, I know people who are loyal fans of the British royalty, people who love this book, people who hate this book and would never read it.   That is specifically why I read it.  I do not regret it.  

     

    The book is a fast read.  It is not particularly well or beautifully written.  In fact I am not sure that Harry was really ready to write this book, or perhaps it is more that I feel a better book could have been written with a bit more time under his belt.  But the book comes across as heartfelt, and I am certain it was a necessary step in the process of this young man's coming to terms with his own life and his place in it.

     

    Like all autobiographies, Spare tells a tale from one perspective, and so it is not complete.  What I have garnered from this story is that Harry was, perhaps still is, a somewhat sensitive soul born into a situation where sensitivity is something of a liability. This story makes me sad; it makes me sad for the entire dysfunctional family.  There is nothing I envy about a single one of them.  I hold no feelings in support of, or opposition to, the Royal family, or the idea of the British Monarchy, token Monarchy that it is.  If Harry feels hampered or worse by being the 'Spare' I am sure that William also has had similar frustrations about being the 'Heir'.  Both boys' lives were shaped by roles that had nothing to do with them, cartoon-character roles that offer little room for human frailty. From Harry's perspective it seems there was little guidance on how to navigate this dichotomy.

     

    I am sure the media is destructive; but without the media who would care? Would there be a reason for there to be a royal family at all?  Without the monarchy would there be anything worth noting about this family?  Is there a reason for monarchy to exist outside its ability to hold a population in its thrall? And at what price to a family, to a culture, to society?  What does it even say about a society that we have to have celebrities to sacrifice on the altar of fame?  This too is endemic to the history of human civilization, this need to simultaneously elevate and tear down a token hero, god, ruler, celebrity — a millennia of sacrifices in the name of the whole. Somehow, as I read Spare I kept thinking of a brief passage at the beginning of Jade Beer's The Last Dress from Paris when Alice arrives at Dior for the first show, of the way that women are gathering outside the door, like "competitive insects".  That is what this book reminds me of, a lone cry in the midst of a swarm of competitive insects, ready to observe, judge, devour, a life.

     

    Oh dear. I am out of my depth.  I am out of my depth whenever I dip even a toe into popular culture.  Back to something I love…

     

    Screen Shot 2023-07-02 at 5.08.38 PMBen Tufnel's first novel The North Shore is a compelling and completely satisfying novel, at least if you are, like me, a lover of literary fiction. Although billed as a gothic novel, this is somewhat deceptive as the story line is not really linear and the novel is, itself, a fascinating exploration of liminality, transformation, memory and art. 

    The novel opens with a ferocious storm, a boy home alone while is mother is away tending a dying grandfather, and the discovery of a drowned man on a beach. Then the novel shifts to the musings on art, metamorphosis, translation and myth by the now adult narrator, before returning to the stormy setting from the narrator's youth. The old man disappears, or perhaps he becomes a tree. The grandfather dies, and this reader wonders abut the potential for emotional and psychological overlays between these two stories.

    Next we lean that the entire gothic story is found in an old journal uncovered in a box of childhood ephemera. More musings on art, on myth and the transformation of humans into plants and plants into humans; also on the transformation of memory, how the wilder, more imaginative and more mythical impressions of childhood become subsumed under a more placid exterior that allows us to function in the world.

    My impression is that the author is musing on the common thread between art, literature and the psyche as well as the way we use stories to provide meaning to our lives. In fact, it feels as he is attempting to use words and ideas in the same way an artist uses brushstrokes to build depth and meaning in a painting, as if the act of writing is the act of manipulating words into something that merely appears scattered but which is  methodically into something that harbors hidden depths. The alternating sections, the jumping around between magical realism and practical reality, art, movies, literature, human interaction — all of this is a rather deft exploration of the knotty bits that make up understanding. Fascinating and engrossing, a novel worth returning to.

     

    Screen Shot 2023-07-02 at 6.22.06 PMYeonmi Park's book,  In Order to Live, was published in 2015, when the author was 22 years old, and it tells the story of her childhood and her escape from North Korea through China and Mongolia to South Korea and, eventually, the USA.  It is hard to describe the contrasting naivetée and poignancy combined with the heartbreaking brutality that fills this book; it was at times hard to read, but totally compelling.  The writing is not polished but it is clear and filled with humanity. If you have ever wondered why immigrants crowd onto unsafe boats, make dangerous passages across treacherous seas, or walk the length of continents to seek asylum, this book may offer insights.  That supposes that one is willing to see them, because we live in a world where it is very easy to forget that dystopias exist, that human trafficking exists, that people truly suffer in ways we consider unimaginable. This book has prompted lots of thoughts, thoughts I am not going to explore here.  What I see is a story of terrible struggle and of human resilience.  What I see is the struggle of a child who has faced greater trials than I could have imagined and yet can still write the following:

    "I learned something else that day: we all have our own deserts.  They may not be the same as my desert, but we all have to cross them to find a purpose in life and be free."  

    I do not know if Yeonmi Park still feels that way.  I hope she does even it may sound naive to say that. There is wisdom in that statement that I do not always achieve.  But I also know there are some deserts that no one should have to cross and sometimes we need reminding of this fact.

     

    Screen Shot 2023-07-02 at 6.51.55 PMLastly, more fiction.  I loved Deborah Levy's last two novels, Hot Milk, and The Man Who Saw Everything.  I ordered her newest novel, August Blue, in advance of publication.  Not only that I recommended it to my book club before it was actually released.  I am very glad I read it and I enjoyed it thoroughly, although I am not yet certain as to whether it compares with either of the two previous novels. 

     

    Comparisons aside, August Blue it is a thought-provoking and entertaining novel.  The story is narrated by Elsa M Anderson, a world class pianist, who froze onstage during a performance of Rachmaninoff's second piano concerto and walked off stage, who is going through a rather interior crisis, possibly a crisis in her career, but since this is also during the time of Covid, Elsa's interior crisis is somewhat caught up in, and  reflected by, liminality in the lives of the other artists and musicians she knows.  

     

    It is also a story where, true to form, Deborah Levy slings enigmatic metaphors about freely. Elsa, who was born Ann, who has dyed her hair blue and "frozen" on stage. Elsa whose struggle is interior but who is also struggling with her outer self, the Ann she might have been.  As a child Elsa/Ann loved the water; in a scene in this novel she goes out diving for urchins, calling to mind Henry Scott Tuke's painting of the same name as the novel. She wanders around Europe giving piano lessons, much as Rachmaninoff himself wandered about giving piano lessons after a disastrous concert.  The fascination with Isadora Duncan, who threw off convention, and with filmmaker Agnes Varda of the eccentric purple and white hair, are also of note, not so much to speak to some greater theme, but as they reflect Elsa's own growing understanding of how who she is, both as an artist and as a woman, intertwine.  

     

    Initially I wondered if the metaphors were leading me somewhere deeper, but gradually I just got into the story, realizing that the metaphors were reflective of Elsa's own mental peregrinations, of the references that shaped her world and the way they played out in her own understanding of her path, the same way we all carry mental references and relate our own struggle to the stories we have chosen, or which have been chosen for us, to guide our lives.  One never gets the sense that Elsa will not recover from her walk through the desert of her own interior emotional responses, and so I would say the book is more hopeful than not, and Elsa's wanderings not so much aimless as liminal.  I find it interesting that this very journey into transformation is set during the time of COVID shutdowns, creating another overlapping layer of ambiguity between the internal and the external. I am also intrigued by Elsa's doppelgänger, a woman she sees on more than one occasion, and around whom she constructs a monologue, perhaps a central theme of this book, as Elsa comes to terms with the woman she has been, the woman she might have been, and the woman she could be.

     

     

  • What IS This Blog?

    The simple answer:  a journal, an online journal if you will, not entirely private, but a journal nonetheless.

    PXL_20230528_142115262

    I realized I had lost something, something important, and it took me a little while, and a bit of soul-searching to figure out what.  It seems that the internet, online communities, and social media have all moved on, but I have not.  I started this blog, or at least its previous iterations, as a way to keep a record for myself, yes one that I shared, but nonetheless a modified personal journal.  At first it was about sewing and knitting and eventually my general observations on life.  These were things I could have committed to paper, but I have a history of tossing bits of paper, including journals and sewing notebooks.  The internet remains here, although I suppose even it is not permanent.  

     

    I don't mind people reading what I write; in fact it even makes me happy to hear from readers.  But I remain opposed to the idea of marketing, of packaging my blogs to fill a niche, to catering to the reader.  I suppose I reject the idea of the curated life, at least the curated life as it reflects outside expectations.  I do curate my life; most of us do to some level or another, but I curate my life for my own joy, and increasingly I feel that outside expectations do nothing but hamper that joy.  

     

    I suppose posting to Facebook was my first mistake.  Initially, I did so at the request of a friend, so she could access the blog easily.  But then it became something else.  I was never shy about telling people I knew that I blogged; most of the time my friends thought it was something weird, and if they read my blog, they did not, for the most part tell me so.  But once I posted to Facebook, more and more people I knew would comment on my "secret" life, and I found myself wanting to please readers, sometimes at the expense of pleasing myself.  I was trained to achieve, to please, to rise to meet expectations, and I find I had not quite fully escaped those shackles. As soon as I began to think I "should" write, the joy in writing slipped away.

     

    For now, I am forgoing Facebook and social media links, but I am still tossing my words out into the world.  Anyone who wants to find them can of course,  but I am feeling no need to make the process easier.  Besides, as I have learned, only 10% of my readers find me through Facebook, but that 10% plays an outside role in triggering my own demons, not through any intention of my readers but just through the medium itself.

     

    So, what have I been doing since last I wrote?

    Chard&Sorrel

    I came home from Texas to an overabundance of sorrel.  So there has been some cooking, several kinds of sorrel soup, including a Russian Sorrel broth, and the chard and sorrel soup shown above.  I have also made, and frozen a large batch of spring spinach and sorrel soup, which doesn't look much different except that it is a darker green.

     

    I have 12 jars of carrot green pesto, and an equal number of jars of canned carrots.  

    Purple peas

    I missed most of the snow pea harvest while I was in Texas but it looked like the squirrels and birds had a feast.  I also planted some purple podded peas and they were still producing in late May.  I thought they were spent, but we had a cool snap last week and I got another small flush of peas, which I have thoroughly enjoyed both lightly steamed and in salads.


    Roses
    The blueberry bushes suffered from neglect and did not produce much.  I just lost my late crop to something, birds or the bear that was wandering down my street a couple of mornings ago, but it does look like I will have a bumper crop of blackberries again this year.  The roses that are intermingled with the blackberries are also doing well, even though I fretted that perhaps they had been killed by a harsh winter frost. 

     

    I continue to work intermittently in the garden.  Nature is ahead of me but I am doing more work than I have been able to in years.  Still not as much as my younger self once managed, but I am comparing myself to what I could accomplish 20 years ago, an unfair comparison.   I have done more this year than any previous summer since I moved into this house.  And I've finally admitted to myself that I did not lose two summers, but three.  My first summer here was the summer I broke my nose on my birthday, the summer I found out I was in atrial flutter, and probably had been for some time.  I can only accept that now because although my almost-65 year old energy level is not the same as my 45-year old energy level, it is higher than it has been for some time.  And if I am driven less than in former years, it is more because I am less inclined to worry about what anyone else thinks.

    Frame it Up

    The other thrilling thing is that I found a roller frame in my stash of needlework supplies and assembled it to work on the next baptismal towel.  It is not quite the size I need, and I don't have any cotton webbing so I had to substitute quilting cotton on the sides in order to pull the fabric taut.  As you can see, there are still adjustments to be made to the tensioning before I begin work, but I am excited. I have ordered a roll of cotton webbing.  I have a box of various kinds of needlepoint and other frames and I think I need to sort them out to figure out what I have and work from there,  but that is progress.  I am slowly accumulating a set of embroidery materials and tools and am excited to work.  No the above is not perfect.  Yet it is an improvement over what I have done in the past.  My work keeps improving.  I tried something new with the last baptismal towel (seen at the top of this post), and I am increasingly excited about this work.

     

    I might wish I had pursued this interest when I was younger, but I did not, and I have made the best decisions I could at any time of my life.  I'll never be a master knitter, or embroiderer, gardener, or chef.  Truthfully I never cared to.  I just wish to pursue what I enjoy for the pure joy of doing so.

     

    In short. Life is simple.  Life is good. What more could I ask?

  • Summer Blues. A Color, Not a State of Mind

    Hello Blog!

    In the interim I was plagued with a bad summer cold.  Then I took a driving trip to Texas. No photos or thoughts on that but I have been journaling regularly again, so I remain convinced that blogging will fall into place in its own time.

     

    In the meantime, I have finished objects! Two finished objects!

     

    First:

     

    Anisie

     

    I finally sewed up a sweater I finished in March.  The pattern is called Anise by Katherine Mehls. It was published in Noro knitting magazine #20.  It is just happenstance that I knit this sweater in the exact same color way as is shown in the pattern.  I had originally purchased the yarn, Noro Uchiwa in color Tokyo for another project but did not like the way the yarn was working in that project.  Luckily the store had another skein, giving me enough yarn to make this sweater, which I love.

     

    My progress was not a shining example of thoughtful, intelligent knitting however.   The pattern is written as an oversized tee, and although I like the look, it wanted something a little more close-fitting.  So I decided to make a smaller size and did the math to make the sweater work with my own gauge.  Then I started knitting, and started second-guessing myself.  I thought perhaps I had made a mistake and the sweater would be too small.  This probably had nothing to do with my math, or even my initial decision-making process but with some body issue or another I was going through at the time.  So I decided to make the sweater bigger and added extra rows to the sweater as I was knitting the right front.  The sweater is knit from side to side.

     

    Unfortunately, after I had done the center shaping and was working on the left front, I 'forgot' that I had added extra rows (even though I had written this down) and continued according to my initial calculations.  I knitted the back as originally calculated.  Only after I finished the knitting did I actually notice that the right front was a good 1 1/2 inches bigger than rest of the sweater.  Not a good look.  But there was no way I was going to rip back almost half the sweater and reknit.  Here the fact that this sweater was knit side-to-side had an advantage.  I could simply cut the sweater, unravel the excess fabric and invisibly join the sweater back together and no one would be the wiser.    I threw the sweater in the bottom of my knitting bag and contemplated this for a week or two before actually undertaking the process.  It all came out fine, and the joining was actually fun, but I like Kitchener stitch.

     

    Then I blocked the sweater.  Since it was cool and the yarn is mostly cotton, it took a while to dry.  Big Ears Weekend and Easter Week came and went and I was still tired.  The sweater languished, once again relegated to the bottom of the knitting bag.  I finally sewed it up while I was in Texas.   I like the finished result.  I like the fabric created by the yarn, I like the weight, which is light and drapes for aran-weight.  The only thing I would have done differently is perhaps start and finish the pieces differently, so that rather than seaming the side seams at the cast-on and bind-off edges, I finished with either a (visible) three-needle bind off or kitchenered the pieces together (invisible join), only seaming at the shoulders and the brief underarm/cap sleeve.  Note for future if I ever make this again, although a second iteration would be for the more boxy version.

     

    I wore it this week while the weather was bit cooler (70s).  As a more fitted cotton sweater in an aran-weight yarn, this is not a summer sweater for the bulk of the Tennessee (or Texas) summers.  Perhaps it would be more versatile as a boxy layering piece, but I suspect it would then suffer from being too heavy to layer.  The resulting top can be worn as a more fitted vest or as a solo layer under a jacket, and I believe it will see a lot of wear.

     

    Second, socks:

     

    Sock2

     

    I was given the yarn, Laines du Nord Watercolor Sock, in color 137, for Christmas.  Initially I thought the color was a bit staid, and the beginnings of the first sock felt almost boring.  But things picked up as I progressed through the skein.  In the end I really like the socks, I like the light fingering yarn and the resulting fabric.  These were knit on size 1 needles, using 60 stitches and they fit well.  

     

    Socks

     

    For the sock knitting nerds among us, I used a boomerang heel on these rather than the fish lips kiss heel I used in my last pair of socks.  I think I like both techniques equally, although the fish lips kiss would be more appropriate if I were using a contrasting color for the heel. 

     

    Socks2

     

    I also modified the toe shaping from the standard technique, doing one-sided shaping that fits my foot better and creates distinctly right and left-footed socks.  I am trying this because I have had occasional issues with neuropathy in my big toe since chemotherapy and I find that socks pulling across that toe can be particularly painful.  Rather than opting for looser socks, which then bunch up if I wear boots, I thought I would try a more fitted approach.  We will see how it works out.

     

     

  • A Knitting Update

    I promised finished objects.  Finally.

     

     

    First something simple:  

    BriocheBand1

     

    The headband was started on a whim.  I was attending a brioche workshop.  My single-color brioche swatch was progressing well, and when the instructor mentioned this pattern — Headband with a Twist — I just ripped out my swatch and cast on the recommended number of stitches with no thought to gauge or anything else.  It is a pretty simple project, and I am happy with the results, although I do think I could have done this a bit differently.  

    BriocheBand2

    My headband is a bit wider than I might prefer.  This headband was knit in Rowan's felted tweed in color Boulder, one of the partial skeins left over from the temperature blanket project.  Although I love felted tweed, and I love this headband, I think I would like a headband in a more tightly spun yarn even better. If I do knit another headband in Felted Tweed, and I might, I also think I would use a smaller needle, and possibly cast on fewer stitches, making it slightly less wide.    I do however love the headband I knit and I will wear it when the weather inevitably cools again.

     

    Luckily this is a fast, fun, mindless knit and I can see myself making a few of them.  I wonder if they would be potential gifts.

     

    BriocheBand3

    There is one error, shown here, which I noticed a few rows after I had made it.  There is a bar across a column of knit stitches, where I forgot to wrap. It would be more obvious in a less fuzzy yarn. I intentionally decided not to tink back and fix it, decided that one error was itself an important statement, a reminder of the imperfection of life, and it is on the inside of the headband anyway.  I can't say that I made no other errors, but I did fix them all.  This is another reason I like this pattern, it is just enough to use as a practice piece, to master brioche until it becomes like second nature, and short enough that I don't become bored with the process.

     

    Second project — a baby blanket (my last blanket for a while)

     

    This is knit in Blue Sky Sweater Worsted yarn in three colors.  It is a gift for my baby brother's first great-grandchild, Sloane.   Here it is spread out to block, with blocking wires running in every direction to make sure the lines and angles are true:

     

    Sloane1

     

    It is a thicker, more substantial baby blanket, what with a worsted weight yarn and the garter stitch, but I like it anyway and hope it will be received well.   It has a great feel and nice drape, despite its weight and I think it will be sturdy.  One thing I do note is that the yarn created a substantial amount of lint when washed prior to blocking, and upon looking it up on Ravelry I see that others have noted the same thing.   Today I will de-lint, remove the wires and wrap this up for delivery later this month when I will be in Texas.

  • April Flowers

    I have a cold, mostly over the worst part of it, but this post will consist of a photo heavy reminder of April (into early May) garden flowers. Or at least the one's I managed to think to photograph.

     

    The daffodils did well, they didn't mind a bit of chill, or a long cool spring.

     

    Daffy1 Screen Shot 2023-05-08 at 11.16.32 AM

     

     

     

     

    It has also been a good year for the Irises.  The first to bloom were the tiny iris cristata:

    IrisCristata

    Then the iris unguicularis

    Iris1

    and their neighbors, the iris techtorum:

    Iris2

     

    The first of the tall bearded iris started blooming about the same time as the first of my peonies.  This one is an itoh peony, named Clara Louise.

    Iris3

     I have another Clara Louise across the front yard, that gets its sun an hour or so later in the morning, and has perhaps an hour less sun; it blooms about a week later and the flowers are a slightly deeper pink. 

    AprilFlowers4

     

    The Siberian iris, 'Caesar's Brother' has been blooming, along with the cranesbill geraniums.  The oldest plants, bloomed first, but these iris have been blooming for about 3 weeks now and new buds are still opening.  This bed is hidden from the street by the wall, but it greets me even time I open my front door.  The geraniums will bloom throughout the summer and are guaranteed to make me smile. 

    AprilFlowers6

    The landscape roses have also burst into bloom in the last week.  Apricot drift.

    ApricotDrift

    and white Meidiland

    WhiteMeideland

     

    The second tall bearded iris has opened, this one a deep red.  Both of these irises were purchased as dried up and shriveled specimens in an end of season deep discount bin.  I didn't know what I was getting, or if they would grow.  Both have become a pleasant surprise.

    Iris5

     

    In the back, the peonies and azaleas were earlier in the spring and I did not get photos.  But the fringe tree is looking glorious this year (along with my garden tools and beds in progress).

    AprilFlowers1

     

    And last but not at all least, also in the backyard near the driveway and the back deck, iris versicolor 'John Wood'.  With Garbo.

     

    Iris4

     

     

  • Four: A reentry

    I'm back!

     

    Am I? For real this time?  The difference between saying I will write and actually writing is like a giant chasm, a chasm that must be bridged, that can only be bridged by actually writing. I realize my priorities have shifted. I am not at all certain how that shift will manifest itself.  And yet I can spend time trying to figure it out but not writing, or I can simply hope for the best and toss my words into the void. I'll never start unless I start, as messy as that might prove to be. 

     

    Let's begin with three weekends and four events:

     

    First there was the Knoxville Symphony's April performance of the Mozart Requiem with the Knoxville Choral Society.  Most of the audience was there for the requiem, and it was indeed beautifully performed, even one of the more enjoyable performances I have heard.  The highlight of the evening, however, for me at least, was a contemporary piece by young American composer T. J. Cole, Death of the Poet.  Cole had been inspired by a painting by Conrad Felixmüller titled Death of the Poet Walter Reiner, which she had seen at the Art Institute of Chicago.   The painting was created as a kind of a requiem of its own, an obituary or memorial for a friend, the expressionist poet, who died of a drug overdose.  The painting is shown below:

     

    Screen Shot 2023-04-20 at 10.40.17 PM

     

    When I looked up the painting after the concert, I felt strongly that I've seen it before, although I don't believe I've ever blogged about it.  Perhaps I should seek the painting out and take another look.  Of course, if I do that I will also want to listen to the music again.  At least there are recordings online, and I will link to one below.  

     

    Both pieces, music and painting, seem filled a sense of loss and ascendance, suitable requiem material, as well as confusion and a sense of worlds on the cusp, of one world fading away and a new one being born.  Perhaps it is this overlapping sense of grief and hope, entangled together that has settled into my mind.    The music and the painting seem very dreamlike to me.  In the painting one doesn't really know if the artist is falling or perhaps flying, and I do think that is part of the point, as well as the use of intense colors and cubist images, of a world turned topsy turvy, despair intermingled with homey windows filled with pots of flowers.  The music was very lush and poignant and yet also unsettling. I find it interesting that both works were created by artists in their 20s; both also created at times of political and social upheaval.  I suspect this will be haunting my thoughts for a while.

     

    https://soundcloud.com/tjcole/death-of-the-poet?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

     

    The following weekend I went on a knitting retreat.  It was small, we ended up with 14 women, and the focus was on brioche knitting, although I would have gone whatever the focus, as I was mostly just interested in the idea of knitting community.   But I was game to up my brioche knitting skills.  Now I am smitten.  Prior to the retreat I was in a fairly monogamous knitting stage, with 1 project on the needles, 1 project in hibernation, and 1 project waiting to be seamed.  At the end of the weekend, I had four active projects on needles.    Needless to say I've been knitting a lot but nothing has yet been finished.  As I write this I have three projects on the needles and two awaiting finishing.  There will be finished knitting to share soon.

     

    The time at the retreat helped me rekindle my focus and refine my priorities, both in terms of giving myself permission to allow hours to be spent exploring process without worrying about having something specific to show for any particular stretch of time, as well as giving myself permission to claim time for solitude.  Yes, I was exhausted after a weekend of music at Big Ears.  I was exhausted after Holy Week, and those all involved too much time spent in public spaces where I was overwhelmed with constant stimulation.  But I was also exhausted by a quiet weekend with 13 other women.  Before the retreat, I did not realize that even in this quiet setting, I would still require significant solitary decompression time.  Although I can, in fact, tune out much of what is going on around me, I cannot block it completely.  Some part of my brain is always watching, feeling, observing the minute changes in energy around me, and I need time to decompress.  Without that time I have no energy for either the social or the creative.  If anything, this retreat was the final seal of approval on accepting the need for not just silence but solitude.

     

    After a calming weekend and a few days rest, I was prepared for another weekend feast for the senses.

     

    On Friday evening I attended the opening night performance of  Knoxville Opera's The Marriage of Figaro, which I felt was a complete and stunning success.  A friend called it "world class" and I agree if one thinks of the production as a whole.  The company pulled off that almost magical feat of creating a cohesive, emotionally rich, enveloping world within the theater.  The singers were very good, some excellent.  The musicians were good, the acting excellent, but mostly it all just came together in a sparkling and satisfying experience.  Nothing jarred, nothing triggered that critical, comparative part of my brain. That, to my mind is always the difficult part.  The best performances somehow always come together from the heart. The finest orchestra, truly world-class voices, none of this matters if everything doesn't mesh together, and I've attended far to many operas that should have been great, but which have left me bored or disappointed.  Figaro has sometimes become such a part of the common experience that it fails to rise above its own history.  This production rose, it danced and sparkled — Figaro reborn. I think I would call it a stunning production and one that has me yearning for more.  

     

    Then on Sunday I went to the Clarence Brown Theater's production of Hair, which I also thoroughly loved.  I was too young when Hair first came out on Broadway, but I did see an amateur production of it in the mid-seventies, after we had abolished the draft, after we had finally pulled out of Vietnam, after I too had my turn shouting "Hell, no! We won't go!".   Even now I look at how those changes were shaping the world, shaping my own youth, and also the world the youth of today live in and experience.  The youth of  1968, the ones portrayed in this play, are the grandparents of the youth of today, the students who were performing in this play.  But that sense of both harmony and communal safety, as well as connection across generations was infectious.  It seemed to me like this was an apt time to reintroduce this musical to a new generation, even as I am reminded that as much as the linearity of time is a foundational principle of western culture, there is also a cyclical aspect to time and growth and human evolution.  

     

    I always want to be enchanted, to be carried away, to be connected to some essential part of human nature; all of these events enchanted me in some sense or another.  In the three performances, there is a common thread, of youth, of age, of love, of loss and hope, or hope and loss (not quite the same but inextricably tied together).  Even in my retreat, in the experience of coming together and later of rest is connected to this cycle.  As the body needs sleep however, so to the heart, the head, the creative and intellectual spirit.   It seems my weekends are not time of rest but of massive input, and when the working world returns to its tasks, I need time to slow down and take it all in. 

     

    Perhaps retirement is also a period of turning the world topsy turvy, of the hero coming home from the wars of work and success and rediscovering the simple acts of breath and life which are essential to us all. 

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Temperature Blanket 2022

    The Temperature blanket is finally complete!  Although I did not finish it in February as I had originally hoped, I did finish before the end of March and that counts as a success in my book.  This means that it took me slightly over a year, almost 13 months, to knit the blanket, which is is pretty much on schedule, or would have been had I knit one garter ridge a day — also the original plan.  Of course waiting for a yarn order also slowed things down, and by the time the yarn arrived I was wrapped up in another project…. 

     

    Temperature3

    I love the results.  Admittedly I would have liked a little more color variation in the middle of the blanket, just as I would have liked a little more temperature variation in those middle five months.   Generally however, the blanket turned out well, and the excitement of seeing what the next color would be was both motivating and a bit of a lesson in combining colors as I found myself entrance by color combinations that would not have occurred to me otherwise.

     

    I purchased 21 colors of Rowan's Felted Tweed for this blanket and I used 20 of them.  Surprisingly the color I did not use was the warmest color, Rage, which was to indicate days where the high reached 96 degrees Fahrenheit, or greater.  We usually do get a couple of days a year that are that warm, but the highest temperature in 2022 was 95.  Now, we had 5 straight months where the average high was over 80, a bit of a long stretch for us, and 90 days where the temperature was over 85, which puts us right at the top edge of the normal range for this area in terms of heat index.  The extended prolonged heat was actually harder on my garden than the cold snap in December.  So I have to say the blanket was nicely balanced between being relatively mindless while also being fun and educational. 

     

    Temperature2

     

    I was inspired to knit this by the temperature blanket post at Modern Daily Knitting, and I started roughly, as they suggested with Kaffe Fassett's Garter Stitch Striped Shawl.  Basically that means I used the needle size he recommended and knit the shawl in garter stitch. I knew that my gauge would be looser than the gauge recommended in the pattern because I have knit this yarn before and have knit patterns by Rowan and this designer.    My gauge was 18 stitches and 34 rows to 4 inches (as opposed to the Kaffe Fassett pattern which got 24 stitches and 44 rows to 4 inches.  I liked the fabric created at my gauge, and I love the weight and drape of the blanket.  It does not feel too loosely knitted, in fact it feels quite ideal for my use and my preferences.

     

    The finished blanket is 60 inches wide by 96 inches long.   According to my records I used 23 1/2 skeins, or 4509 yards.  I had originally estimated, from my gauge swatch, that the blanket would take 19 or 20 skeins, and I estimated that the border would take 3 1/2 to 4 skeins and both ended up right on point.  Overall I am happy. 

     

    Temperature4

     

    As you see, it fits perfectly on my queen-sized bed as a topper, and it is the right size for a solo sleeper.  It is not large enough to share, but, having been married to a blanket-hog, I long ago decided that separate blankets are the way to go both for comfort and maintenance ease.   I would rather fold or drape multiple blankets over the bed anyway, and I wouldn't be surprised if I end up knitting at least one more of these blankets during my lifetime.  I have certainly been thinking about the possibilities.