Restingmotion

  • Dream List and Variousn Odd Musings Inspired by Rowan 70

    I've been knitting.  But I have also been dreaming of projects and the newest Rowan Magazine, # 70, has contributed to those knitting dreams.

     

    PendingRowanCover

     

    Admittedly I am distracted by this book at least partially because I want to knit the two cover items, staring with this scarf.  The pattern is named Dolomite and it is knitted in the round using wonderfully soft Felted Tweed with DMC Diamant.  The question is whether or not I will actually wear it, or perhaps whether I want the scarf as much as I want to be the woman in the suit with the scarf.    I do love the pattern, and the idea and I know I will love knitting it.  I am pausing over two things primarily:  Do I have fall/winter clothes I can wear with this item?  Does it fit into my current life? As you might surmise, the questions are related, and both are somewhat up in the air at the moment.  First of all because I am once again sussing out what is important to me in my post cancer life, and  because I don't really know what winter clothes I own that will fit.  But the nice thing about knitting, is that it can wait, and I can knit this anytime, if and when the need arises and there are no fit issues with a scarf, other than how it fits into a life.  Sometimes I do think it is the knitting itself that makes the need arise. 

     

    PendingSardonyx

    I am also quite enamored of this sweater shown on the back cover.  The pattern named Sardonyx, and it is  knit in Kid Classic and DMC Diamant.  Let me just say how interesting and exciting I find Rowan's use of Diamant in their knitting patterns this fall.  It is an embroidery thread I have in my embroidery stash, a thread I was playing with at least partially because it looks like a metallic thread but is far easier to use.  Alas that all came to a stop with neuropathy, but I do hope that not only will my knitting perk back up, but my embroidery will also.  Eventually perhaps I will be able to share a little of both.

     

    But back to the sweater.  This is something I know I would wear even though kid classic is a heavier, aran weight yarn.  But although it is heavier than Felted Tweed, it is also a yarn I think of as soft and cuddly.  The sweater fits more smoothly into my life and perhaps my style than the the idea of a polished and besuited me.   I can accept that this sweater may only get a couple of outings a year, rather than heavy wear, at least in the Tennessee climate, but this only means that I will not wear it out quickly after knitting. My main question at the moment is one of sizing as I am currently between two sizes.  This, and many of the patterns in this volume are oversized, and although I think this sweater needs to have the positive ease to look good, I am still on the fence.  I do not look good if there is too much volume in a dolman-style sleeve and I tend to be narrow between the bust points, which I also think is critical to how this sweater will look.  I do tend to think that if I get the shoulders and the center front panel right, the dolman sleeves will be more manageable.

     

    PendingChromium

     

    But there is more.  This cropped sweater, Chromium by Lisa Richardson,  is knit in Alpaca classic and, once again, DMC Diamant.  The alpaca is a fiber I struggle with more here in Tennessee, as the winters are often more damp than cold, and alpaca and I are not always friends in that situation.  It is also both lighter and warmer than wool, which becomes problematic in heated interiors.  But I think I can also layer this over a shirt or a long turtleneck.  Or not.  This may simply be a dream sweater more than a sweater I actually knit and wear. 

     

    PendingLazurite

    However, this cardigan, Lazurite by Martin Story, has "knit me" and "wear me" all over it.  It is knit in Kid Classic, the same as my cuddly oversized pink cozy cowl cardigan, which I knit in the winter of 2019/20, but in a more versatile length.   This pattern is written with substantial positive ease, more perhaps than I think I want.  But sizing down will depend substantially on the resulting hand of my knitted fabric. This may well be worth buying a few extra skeins of yarn first, and knitting a substantial swatch to determine the qualities of the fabric before committing to, and starting the actual sweater.  In many ways this illustrated the classic, and  ongoing problem of imagination versus reality.  There is the sweater I imagine from the picture,  and there is the actual sweater, as designed, conceived, and executed by the designer.  Of course, I as knitter do not have to create the same sweater, or use the same yarns.  Once again, a commitment to some playing with yarn may well be the answer.  Very often the very act of swatching and playing with fiber clarifies my thought process, occasionally cures the itch to knit a specific design, or turns my attentions in a very different direction.

     

    PendingCarbon

     

    No issues with oversized sweaters here.  This vest is named Carbon and it is knit in lightweight cuddly Felted Tweed and Diamant.  The Diamant could be a problem in all this color work, especially if one is inclined to be a tight knitter, as I suspect, based on my embroidery practice, that it could break.  

     

    Luckily I am not a tight knitter, or will not be once my neuropathy wears off.  If it wears off.  That is one of those wishy washy things about the way cancer treatments are described.  Most women on Taxol get some degree of neuropathy (more of them get severe neuropathy than minor neuropathy) and most women recover fully within a few months.  The actual statistics are a little more worrisome.  80% (give or take a percentage point here and there) get neuropathy.  Of those, 40%, or only a little less than half, are left with some degree of permanent neuropathy. Yes it is true that most of those who get neuropathy recover (60%) but sometimes all this optimistic rosy speak hides some still disturbing news.  Anyway, I have done my research, and am doing my best to do everything in my power to manage my treatments and my neuropathy, in the hopes that I will be in the lucky 60%.  This sweater is one I would wear, if I can knit it.  I haven't really worn fitted vests in a few decades now, but I have tried on a few more fitted sweaters lately in stores, although not purchased them, and this would be a very happy addition to my wardrobe.

     

    PendingMica

     

    As would this vest, named Mica.   This vest somehow looks boxy in the photo, but is only designed with a couple of inches of positive ease.  Knit in Felted Tweed, I like the drape of the fabric.   I also like that the pattern is offset. The actual design is a rectangle.  I like the deep neck, although I would add in a little waist shaping, without making the garment exactly fitted.  This one is pretty high on my list right now, and it is also probably the most immediately wearable of all the garments in this magazine. It would be an easy knit to boot.

     

    PendingTungsten

     

    Similarly, this pullover, named Tungsten, is also eminently wearable in my life.  Also knit in Felted tweed with an off-center argyle motif, this appeals to me in much the same way the vest above appeals.  And I think it would be a sweater I would live in.  The design and the softness of the felted tweed, it seems to have that cuddly sweatshirt appeal, at least in my imagination, does call for positive ease, but I am not convinced I would knit this with the 10" of positive ease called for in the pattern.  Or perhaps I am just being difficult.  Anyway, although I would knit the vest in a neutral, this sweater is crying out to me for color.

     

    PendingTopaz

     

    Last but far from least is this slightly more polished sweater, also knit in Felted Tweed, called Topaz.  Again wearable, and versatile.  Although perhaps more versatile if I lived in a colder climate.  The soft oversized sweater above looks cozy, and looks like something I could wear.  This sweater looks like it would want to be worn as more of a polished indoor outfit.  In the past I have found Knoxville overheated in winter time, more so than New York.  But I may have changed, and adapted, or not.  I love this sweater, and of course, I do not need to knit it in this yarn.  Still, this design remains well entrenched in the realm of possibility.

     

    And there you have it, actually far more knitting than I need or will finish in a year, especially given that I have. a large stash of queue waiting in the wings.  But it never hurts to dream, nor is there any point in being niggling with one's dreams.  Embrace all the possibilities, and then just see how they evolve.

     

     

     

  • A Short Walk Around My Neighborhood

    Pending2Flowers

     

    I am painfully aware that it has been a couple of weeks since I last wrote, and there is basically no excuse for that except that my head has been wandering elsewhere.  And yet, as much as I want to say something, anything almost, my head is not really focused.  It is turning out to be not such a good day here.  I had my last chemotherapy session on Wednesday and today I have been hit with nausea and neuropathy and my head is completely discombobulated.  The good news is that as bad as it gets, it is all going to get better from here on out and I just have to cope with my body, with my head, with the water leak in the kitchen, with whatever else life throws my way.

     

    Pending3Bronze

     

    The photos in this post are all from my neighbor's gardens, here meaning neighbor in the broadest sense, taken on my walk Wednesday morning, just before that last chemo.  Just a walk through a suburban neighborhood, with suburban landscaping and flowers, but also in many ways a true neighborhood, where neighbors walk and stop and talk to each other, a neighborhood where one day, when I was just up to walking again after my last bout with neuropathy, I was stopping for a rest while holding on to someone's mailbox.  A neighbor stopped and asked how I was, and he later drove around the block to make sure I was still up and moving and would get home ok.  I was almost home at that point and did not need a ride, but gratitude and warm feelings filled the rest of my day, and truth be told the rest of my week.

     

    Pending4Crepe

     

    I continue to think about this, about community and neighborliness, and where we choose to live.  It is a subject that has been on my mind a lot of late.  Partially because I used to be a bounder, a person who when I would get unhappy would just up and ditch it all, but I learned that doesn't solve anything, because unhappiness is often the one thing that you take with you everywhere, or at least the seeds of that unhappiness.  First of all one needs to figure out oneself.  Yes, outside forces can push those boundaries, and this year of COVID lockdowns and health issues and cancer and feeling miserable have not helped with those inner demons, with that battle between inner and outer, and the matter of self-determination. Adversity pushes us to question what we really want, but at the same time, we have to dig deeper, to look below the surface.  Because there is always that layer of outer frustration that we may want to slough off, only to find we have stripped away too much skin, made the wrong choice, and left ourselves either numb or raw and wounded.

     

    Pending1Fig

     

    I am not raw and wounded right now.  My mail person just came up and dropped off a pile of catalogs, catalogs I might normally toss right into the recycling bin.  But today I will lie settle on the sofa with a cup of tea and let my mind wander as I turn the pages.  I will watch US Open Tennis.  I will eat something healthy even though I don't feel like eating.  I will do this because I refuse to give in, even though I am so behind on everything I sometimes question whether that is really true.  But I can also admit that there are days when mindlessly browsing through catalogs is perhaps more important than chasing a few dust bunnies around the house, not more important than mopping up a wet floor, but hey, catalogs then become a reward.  Eventually I will pick up the newest Louse Penny, which I have been saving for this weekend, but my mind is not yet settled enough to read it.  

     

    ApricotDrift

     

    This last photo, this is from my house.  I posted it, or a similar photo, on Instagram earlier in the week. You can see these apricot drift roses against the fence from the street.  They are still in their nursery planters.  I still haven't gotten them planted, but they appear to be happy here nestled between the small azaleas I did plant in the spring.  The roses will not be against this fence when they make it to their final location, but for now they offer a bit of promise, both because they look good even when I do not feel good, and hence they make me happy, but also because they are thriving despite setbacks, a reminder that the ability to thrive is not dependent on avoiding the bad things, just learning to navigate them.  I hope that is a lesson I can continue to grow into.

     

     

     

  • Three

    I am knitting away on my cardigan, but 'tis rapidly coming into the season where temptation looms.  Fall knitting books and magazines are starting to appear, along with knit-alongs, and dreams of cooler fall weather.  Admittedly that last bit is wishful thinking; I live in a place where the reality of autumnal chill seems far far away.  Or maybe it is just as simple as the idea that the fact of knitting begets dreams of more knitting.

     

    First Up: I have finished the back of the Sweet Confection cardigan, which I have named Raspberry Confection on Ravelry.  Does. the name matter?  I don't know.  Years ago, I used to create individual categories for each project but years ago I either knit more or wrote more about what I was knitting.  Anyway, it is something I am thinking about.  

     

     

    SweetConfection1

     

    I have finished the back and blocked it.  Not surprisingly, as I was a bit worried about gauge due to the changing levels of pain and neuropathy in my hands. As I knit,  I noticed that as my neuropathy lessened and my fingers became looser, the feel of the yarn on the needles felt less tight.  As my fingers became looser so did my knitting.  My stitch gauge remained mostly on point but my row gauge reverted to my normal form, meaning my stitches grew longer.  Hence the body of the sweater is about 2 inches longer than I had planned for it to be.  

     

    As I approached the shaping for the armscye however, my fingers were becoming increasingly painful and knitting became slower, with fewer rows knit at any one time. My knitting was tightening up again as well, and much of the area above the armscye shaping, is knit more tightly, on average closer to the anticipated gauge determined during swatching.  This is good, because I do not like deep armholes in my sweater unless the sweater as a whole is meant to be oversized; nor do I really want to rip it all back.

     

    I am still thinking what this means for knitting the fronts.  At the moment my fingers are a bit looser, and this should continue until a day or two after my last chemo infusion next week.  I am inclined to think I should knit the two front pieces simultaneously to insure that the gauge matches on each piece, and work from there.  I. will have to be cognizant of how the yarn feels on the needles, and there may well be some adjusting on the fly. I will let you know how it goes.

     

    Multi-Hook

     

    Secondly: a handy little gift has earned permanent place in my knitting tool kit.  The boye crochet multi-hook arrived with a package of knitting yarn and pattern swatches.  Four sizes of hook are included, and although it would not be useful for extensive crochet, it is useful for picking up the occasional dropped stitch, or small bits of crochet here and there.  I seem to have an extensive collection of crochet hooks, which is surprising for a woman who intensely dislikes crocheting. Whenever I find myself needing a crochet hook however,  I never have the correct size in my knitting bag.  This should solve that problem. I don't know that this handy little tool will do anything in terms of allowing me to reduce my hook inventory, as it is awkward for all but the simplest of repairs, but it is bound to see lots of use.

     

    PomPomRoots

     

    And last, but far from least, a couple of knitting magazines have crossed my door.  The Autumn 2021 Pom Pom Quarterly actually came a few weeks ago now. It may well have been the prompt that kicked off my autumnal knitting dreams.   In fact the entire magazine acted much the way the Sears Christmas catalog did when I was a child — sparking fantasies of brisk autumnal days, walks in the woods, cozy sweaters.  In short it is more a book of dreams than anything practical for my local climate.  It had me reminiscing about my former home, about warm fires and all the good things about winter, especially thick cozy sweaters.

     

    POMPOM

     

    There is some part of me wanted to knit every sweater, wanted to live somewhere cool and crisp, cold even.  But I realize this was as much about summer heat, about feeling miserable, about the way chemotherapy has knocked me further down than I had hoped, and how summer without the pleasure of summer activities can become unbearable.  I don't actually know if I was yearning for a return to cool summers and cold winters, or just struggling with ennui.  I suspect the latter.  But I enjoyed reading the magazine anyway, and I enjoyed dreaming about a fantasy life where I could wear all these sweaters.

     

    Silvatica

     

    It is possible that I could knit some of the hats shown in the collage above, but I already have more hat patterns than I could ever need, and in Tennessee even my need of warm wooly hats is somewhat limited.  There are two patterns I might knit.  The most likely of these is this intarsia shawl, Silvatica, shown above.  This would be both fun to wear and fun to knit (once my neuropathy wears off).  

     

    Saknes

     

    The other potential knit, although actually somewhat less likely, is this cardigan, named Saknes.  It is knit in worsted weight wool, which I would not have considered particularly heavy in New York, and which I thought of as really pushing the limits much of my life in Tennessee.  But I wore more sweaters last year.  This may be because I live in an older house, which can be slightly drafty. It could be because I refuse to turn on the heat unless the house is downright cold, and my standard definition of cold seems to be lower than that of many of my Tennessee compatriots. Perhaps I am adapting slightly; perhaps I am just aging.  I've been through chemo and lost a good bit of weight, which was necessary by the way, and I have no idea how that will affect my sensitivity to the cold.  I still have worsted weight wool in the stash, so this remains a possibility.

     

     

     

     

     

  • Saturday Six

    It appears that this life continues to be a small quiet kind of life, but that is not necessarily a bad thing.  In fact, there are times when it feels like all my previous busy-ness was a bit overdone.  I am sure that perspective will evolve in time, as life tends to evolve at its own pace.  In the meantime I thought I would share a few small things that made me happy this past week.


    Saturday3
    1. It has been a tough summer in many ways, too hot and too dry, and part of the yard are not doing particularly well.  Some plants are thriving, others are showing obvious signs of neglect, if not outright abandonment.  And yet there is not much I can do at this point but just wait and see.  What will die will die.  Nature may or may not fill in the void, and next spring I will see what ventures forth and then reassess.  Many of the older hydrangeas are showing obvious signs of stress, especially the lace cap hydrangeas, or hydrangea serrata, as they are not well adapted to Southern heat and drought (much like their adopted mother). It appears they will pull through, and I will round them out with the more resilient mop heads over the next few years.. The newer hydrangeas, the varieties of hydrangea paniculate, are thriving, as they are prone to do given their love of clay soils, and sun. Their constant bloom brings me great joy.  The glowing border of coreopsis and hydrangeas makes even the hardest of summers somehow tolerable.

    Saturday1

     

    2. Which reminds me of the surprising resilience of these little apricot drift roses which keep blooming and blooming despite the fact that they are still in their nursery pots and have never been planted.  So much for plans and good intentions.  But they also serve as a reminder of tenacity and perseverance.  I have given up fretting over whether or not they survive, but at the moment, nestled between some azaleas, they continue to appear surprisingly content with what meager resources life has give them.

     

    Saturday2

     

    3.  Oreos!  I have known that Nabisco came out with a gluten-free version of Oreos only for a month or two, but this was the first time I actually wandered into the cookie aisle of my local grocery store and tried a package.  I don't buy many packaged foods, but Oreos have always had a special place in my heart.   I think I have tried every brand of imitation gluten-free Oreo-like cookie on the market and had primarily given up.  Even the best of them, Kinni-Toos by Kinnikinick, proved to be too sweet, leaving a metallic coating in my throat and not satisfying that particular craving. I would eat more than I wanted, seeking out some elusive sense of comforting satisfaction, and still feel unfulfilled.  Sad that.  I am happy to say that these Oreos taste much like the Oreos or memory.  I could only eat two of them, and felt then that I had maxed out my sugar and carb intake for the day.  This is partly due to the fact that I discovered early on in my chemotherapy treatment that the best way to minimize nausea was to avoid sugars, starches, most carbs, and alcohol.  After a few months my tastes have probably changed, although I suspect my life-long love of sweets will always be with me.  Anyway, two cookies one day, a third a couple of days later, and my craving has been satisfied.  The package is gone; it was well worth the investment.  

     

    Saturday4

     

    4.   I sliced vegetable to make one of my favorite salads.  One of the downsides of paclitaxel treatment (or Taxol) is the neuropathy that is frequently experienced by patients.  I have had a great deal of neuropathy in my hands, and this has made it difficult to do many things, including anything much beyond minimum basics in the kitchen.  However, my oncologist reduced my dose this past week, and although I still have neuropathy, I am actually able to type more easily and to hold a pen and a knife.   Much to my joy, my garden and CSA this week supplied me with the components of one of my favorite salads and I was able to slice away without risk.  

     

    Magnolia

     

    5.  Magnolias.  Not in my yard.  Photo taken on my walk this morning, and yes my neuropathy had calmed down enough that I was actually able to take a walk.  I adore magnolias in all their iterations.

     

    Saturday5

     

    6.  I also went to the farmer's market, and gathered a small harvest from my deeply overgrown vegetable garden.  The tomatoes and parsley are mine,  The cantaloupe and eggplant are from the market.  My own fairy tale eggplants got overwhelmed by the weeds, which is sad, because as much as they bordered on overproductive last year, I ended up loving having a constant supply of these tiny eggplant, more so than I would ever have anticipated.

     

    Saturday6

     

    So when I found a small box of tiny little fairy tale eggplant I had to make one of my favorite treats.  I ate this every week last summer, sometimes making multiple batches in a week.    This is the marinated aubergine recipe from the original Ottolenghi cookbook (page 27 in my edition).  I don't think I used fairy tale eggplant the first time I ever made it; I didn't even know about the variety at that time, and Ottolenghi simply specifies small eggplant.  I also originally used the tahini-herb dipping sauce he recommends as well, but now I don't bother.  These tiny eggplants, simply quartered or halved, brushed with olive oil and salt and roasted are too divine.  The trick is to make up the herb vinaigrette while the eggplant cooks, then drizzle it over the hot eggplant and allow them to sit for at least 2 hours at room temperature.  When I have them, I keep a platter out on the counter to nibble on whenever I pass through the kitchen.  Lemon Juice is important.  The recipe specifies oregano and cilantro, but I find that whatever herbs I bring in from the garden work. More than once I have even subbed Nuoc Cham and Thai basil for the more traditional vinaigrette and been equally delighted.  

     

    There you have it, a wealth of bright spots to lighten my life.  And it is still Saturday, although barely.  I am tired, but it is a good kind of tired, the kind of tired that comes from getting outside and talking with friends and playing in the kitchen.  All in all, a good week.

     

     

  • A New Project and Some Complications

    After two scarves and one blanket, even if the blanket only involved assembly and borders, I find that I am tired of square rectangular things and am itching to knit another sweater.  After all I was a sweater knitter first and foremost, even my first project was a sweater.  

     

    I considered a pair of socks because I need socks, but there are some complications on that front.  Whereas I usually prefer knitting with small needles as they are easier on my arthritic fingers, at the moment my arthritis is not so much an issue as is neuropathy in my hands brought on by the course of paclitaxel (Taxol) I am undergoing as the second phase of my chemotherapy treatment.  At the moment, knitting on anything much smaller than a size US 8, or possibly a US 7 needle is extremely difficult, and even knitting on larger needles is a slow and time consuming process which requires many breaks.

     

    Nonetheless, I have started a new project, a sweater I am really looking forward to wearing this fall. 

    Sweet Confection

    The pattern is Sweet Confection from L'atelier in Redondo Beach, California.  The body of the sweater is knit with L'Atelier's wool yarn, Wish12, and the sleeves are knit in a lace pattern using both Artyarns Silk Dream and Beaded Silk and Sequins Light.

     

    The recommended gauge for this sweater is 19 stitches and 24 rows for four inches in stockinette stitch using Wish12 on size 8 needles, and 18 stitches and 24 rows in lace pattern using Silk Dream on size 7 needles.  Since I typically get gauge in wool yarns, at least stitch gauge if not row gauge, I thought this would be manageable.  The lace pattern on size 7 needles might be a challenge, but the silk yarn is also slippery, and the hope was that I could pull it off.

     

    Ahh, but then I ran into problems, minor but atypical problems.  Usually I knit long skinny stitches.  When I was a younger and less experienced knitter I tended to knit very loosely and often had to go down several needle sizes.  This is rare now, but usually I get fewer rows per inch of knitting than is recommended for a given stitch gauge.  The advantage of this is that I often use less yarn than specified.  The disadvantage is that everything must be recalculated.  I've never particularly seen that as a problem though.  The point of knitting something, as opposed to buying an off-the-shelf manufactured sweater is to create something personalized to oneself.  

     

    But what is the problem?  The problem here is that my painful and tingly fingers, with this yarn, and probably a small bit of mental frustration added in, are knitting short fat stitches.  As is normal for me, I knit several swatches before preparing to proceed.  Following are the results.

    Sweet swatches

    Recommended gauge in Wish12:  19 stitches and 24 rows in 4 inches using stockinette stitch.

    Pre-blocking gauge using Wish12:  19 stitches and 24 rows in 4 inches on size US 8 needles.  20 stitches and 28 rows in 4 inches on US 7 needles.  

    Post-blocking gauge using Wish12:  16.75 stitches and 21 rows in 4 inches on US 8 needles. 18 stitches and 27 rows in 4 inches on US 7 needles. 

    As you can see, the yarn relaxes after washing.  Knitting this yarn on size 7 needles feels a bit tight to me, probably due to finger neuropathy  as much as anything, but the finished fabric, after blocking, which is the fabric that will actually be worn after all, is closer to the specified gauge, and is indeed has a quite lovely hand and drape.  The swatch knit on size 8 needles is too loose and floppy.  I am knitting using the size 7 needles, although this will slow the project down.

     

    Recommended gauge in Silk Dream:  18 stitches and 24 rows in lace pattern.  I did not record pre-blocking gauge in the lace pattern as there seemed little point.  Post-blocking my gauge was as follows:

    19 stitches and 25.75  rows in 4 inches on US 7 needles. 17 stitches and 24 rows on US  6 needles.  

     

    As you can see I am coming up just on either side of the recommended stitch gauge, but right on target with row gauge with the lace pattern on the smaller needles.  Knitting on size 6 needles was more tedious than on the size 7s, but I think I can manage it.  In the worst case scenario, I will have to put off knitting the sleeves until after my treatments, when the neuropathy hopefully has faded.  I say hopefully because nearly one-third of women who experience neuropathy with paclitaxel, and 80% of women do have some degree of neuropathy on this drug, will have some degree of permanent neuropathy following treatment.  This is one of those funny things about chemo, and the way things are explained that annoys me.  Yes, it is true that "most" women recover fully, but most is a vague term at best.

     

    Although the plan is to knit this sweater while I am still in treatment and still experiencing neuropathy, I have put off doing the sleeve math at this time.  We are also doing everything we can to avoid permanent neuropathy, and have reduced my chemo dosage for the last two treatments, so hopefully all will go well, even though I know I cannot count on this.

     

    As noted above, on size 7 needles, I am getting one more stitch over the course of 4 inches than is specified the pattern.  This means that my sweater would be approximately 2 inches bigger than specified if I used the pattern recommendations.  This also falls in between two sizes on the pattern so I cannot simply knit a smaller size.  Since this sweater is not meant to be closely fitted, the calculation remains pretty simple however.  

     

    The difference in row gauge is slightly more problematic, although not so much in terms of design as much in terms of necessary materials. The pattern calls for 5 skeins of Wish12, but I will have to knit approximately 13 extra rows on each piece of the body of the sweater.  If I rip out my swatches and add the yarn back into the sweater I would have enough yarn to add 11 rows to one piece, which would mean I would still need an extra skein of yarn.  I do not know however that one skein extra would still give me enough yarn to complete the back neck finishing.  I am also not convinced that I want to rip out my swatches.  I have been erratic in the past concerning knitting records, but am thinking right now that a more detailed knitting project book, including notes and swatches, might be useful.  I decided to order two extra skeins of Wish12.  Better to be safe than sorry.

     

    Sweet Cofection2

     

    Above is a photo of the back piece on the needles.  I am actually a bit further along than shown in this particular photo.  The pattern   specifies casting on with Silk Dream and knitting one row before switching to Wish12. Based on past experience and my own preferences, I decided that I wanted a slightly thicker band of Silk Dream at the bottom of the sweater, and knit three rows.  Given the yardage on the Silk Dream,  and that I almost always knit sleeves smaller than specified in most patterns, I believe this may be manageable without needing additional yarn. 

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • July Books 2: Stories

    Last week I posted the first half of a two-part review of my July reading.  As I mentioned at that time, it seemed all I did in July was read, although in retrospect I can say that mostly I read and I slept.  Not a month marked by ambition in any sense.  Or was it?  My body may have been fighting its own battles, but my mind was at least grasping at something, anything.

     

    First, I shall repeat the list.

    68. Thomas Seyfried, Cancer as a Metabolic Disease.

    69.Eric Kossoff, Ketogenci Diets: Treatment for Epilepsy and Other Disordors.

    70. Lee A Reich, Uncommon Fruits Worth of Attention.

    71. Leofranc Halford-Stevens, A Short History of Time.

    72. Margery Allingham, Look to the Lady.

    73. Anne Lamott, Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers.

    74. Robert A. Weinberg, One Renegade Cell: How Cancer Begins.

    75. C. S. Wilkins, Bandera Bound.

    76. James Hillman, Healing Fiction.

    77. Herbert M. Shelton, The Science and Fine Art of Fasting.

    78.  Peggy Knickerbocker, Love Later On

    79. Arundhati Roy, Azadi: Freedom, Fascism, Fiction.

    80. KC Davis, How to Keep House While Drowning.

    81. Neil McKinney,  Naturopathic Oncology.

    82. Joanne Fluke, A Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder.

    83. Scott Zesch, The Captured.

    84. Herman Pontzer, Burn.

    85. Toni Dwiggins, Quicksilver.

    86. Karin Slaughter,  False Witness.

    87. Kristen Hannah, Firefly Lane.

    88.  Ann Cleeves, The Crow Trap.

    89.  Amy Greene, Long Man.

     

    In this post, I am discussing the groupings of books coded red (mysteries and suspense), purple (other literature),and turquoise (uncategorized, memoir, or "hell I don't know what to call this but I loved it").

     

    First up: mysteries and suspense.   

     

    First was Margery Allingham's Look to the Lady.  I had not read Allingham in many years, but as mentioned last month, I had recently found myself interested in looking back to the great mid-twentieth century grand-dames of mystery, and I wondered how my memories of youthful perceptions would mesh with my current experience.  I found the novel to be a grand romp:  interesting, fun, light-hearted, and at times surprising.  The story is almost more quest than mystery, with many interesting and overlapping themes — callow young lordling about to come of age; a criminal gang out to steal a priceless medieval chalice; hints of mysticism and ancient rites — but all is tied together quite satisfactorily in the end. I tend to think Albert Campion has aged well, but I suspect this may be because he is witty and charming, reminding me perhaps of Nick Charles.  This is perhaps more a mark of the time; both Campion and Charles hail from one particular style prevalent in the 1930s when criminals were deviously psychological and the detectives were charmers who relied on a wealth of informants.  Also of its period is the strong emphasis on the mystical, and, perhaps more difficult for modern reader, the disconcerting class differences.  I personally think these are linked, and it is easy for this reader, with the advantage of history on her side, to look back to the changes in the British class system that were already well underway, if not yet fully recognized and accepted, at the time this novel was written.  Perhaps what actually draws me in is Allingham's ability to tell a story without taking herself too seriously. She is a master storyteller, one whom I feel is perhaps under-appreciated, and I continue to enjoy her novels. 

     

    The next couple of mysteries were not such successes.  I read Joanna Fluke's Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder simply because I have on occasion enjoyed the Hallmark series based on these books and found them a lighthearted mindless escape.  Initially the characters appeared more complex than they do in the series, appearing less saccharine, and I was encouraged, but that perception rapidly changed.  I was expecting a light-hearted, fluffy read, and I got that, but I also felt like I was getting a load of sanctimonious crap about how women should and should not behave, look, think, etc.  In the novel, as opposed to the series, thank goodness, the brother-in-law cop goes out of his way to encourage his sister-in-law, the local cookie baker, to do his work for him while he reaps all the credit. In what world could this even begin to be acceptable?   I found all of this, the belittling of the slightly overweight but well-meaning, unmarried, and obviously therefore a failure, baker, who's talents and kindness were taken advantage of, if not outright used, by all of the characters and never given credit for her accomplishments, difficult to swallow.  I suppose none of this was as overt as I make it out to be, but still, not a role model for women and not the kind of novel I want to read.  

     

    I suppose I felt the same way about Toni Dwiggins's novel, Quicksilver. I read the book because I found the premise interesting:  a pair of forensic geologists solving mysteries through scientific knowledge.  However, although I thoroughly enjoyed the geology, I found the plot to be over simplistic and the actions of the main characters to be improbable.  I just couldn't believe that people who could be so smart about their science, could also be so utterly clueless, and goodness knows I've known a few clueless geniuses in my time. The female lead was even worse than the mail scientist and all of the men in the story treated her in a rather patronizing way. Given the idiocy of her behavior, and the simplistic clues left her by the others, which she still missed, this may have been partially deserved.  The scientific side of this book was highly detailed and well done, but not particularly well integrated with the story.  This is the first of a series, and perhaps the author has managed to integrate the characters and the science more fully, and interestingly, in future volumes, but at this point I am not certain I am inclined to find out.   

     

    Despite the fact that it is not light and entertaining, I thoroughly enjoyed Karin Slaughter's new novel False Witness.  I preordered the book upon finishing the last novel in July and dove in to it as soon as it arrived.  Once again, abuse against women is a central focus of this story.  But don't let that idea lead you think that this novel is so narrowly conceived.  The novel opens with our main protagonist, Leigh, a woman who appears to have it all:  a legal career at a blue-chip firm, a daughter she adores, an ex-husband with whom she is able to maintain a close relationship.  She is the woman everyone envies.  Or is she?  Slaughter deftly upends the narrative as Leigh is thrown into a case that reveals a deeply troubled childhood which she thought she had escaped.  We watch Leigh as her neatly compartmented life crumbles, as she reconciles with her sister, Callie, who never managed to escape their past, and as she fights for those she loves and prays that the life she has built does not come crumbling down around her.  Slaughter captures the relationship between the sisters well, both in its sisterly normalcy as well as its dysfunction.  All of the characters are complex and multi-faceted, even the sociopathic serial rapist Leigh is called to defend.  This is a terrifying and deeply disturbing novel, but it is also gripping and difficult to put down.  Slaughter pulls no punches on how abuse and violence rips apart the fabric of childhood, the fragile psychology of the surviving adult, or even an entire culture built on denial.  But Slaughter is also a master of plot, and she keeps the reader on edge.  


    False Witness is a hard-driving and compelling novel, but there is a lot of food for thought here: violence against women; drug culture and the way the war on drugs has fractured society; regret over lost relationships and the stupid mistakes people make without ever meaning to do so. The novel is set currently.  The Covid-19 shutdown has interrupted the court system. Characters are masked.   Although Slaughter does not slap us in the face with this, there is a sad and shocking sense of the toll the pandemic shutdown has taken on those segments of society where the struggle for survival is marginal at the best of times.  In fact, I think this book is worth reading again as it is compelling, entertaining (if one can tolerate the darker side of life) and thought-provoking.

     

    Like Karin Slaughter, Ann Cleeves' mysteries are character based, but there all similarities end.  The Crow Trap is the first of Cleeves' Vera Stanhope series and it is an interesting, if a bit odd, introduction to the character.  Stanhope does not really appear until half way through the story, and although the reader gets a good introduction to the detective's unorthodox ways, she does not always come off as particularly in control of the investigation here.  I admit this may be a feint.  

    The story takes place at the site of a proposed quarry where three scientists, all women, have been called in to prepare an environmental impact statement.  The initial portion of the nivel goes over the same events from the perspective of each of the women.  These events begin with the suicide of a neighbor, Bella, shortly before the women arrive, to the murder of Grace, one of the three scientists.   Cleeves successfully fleshes out the background to the mystery from the three different perspectives of the women, Rachel, Anne, and Grace, allowing us to get to understand the characters from their own individual points of view.  DI Stanhope, when she finally entered the story, appears to be a highly unusual and intelligent detective.  Even as I write this, I can see more clearly, how Stanhope's actions, and manipulation of the characters, deviously sets the stage for the murderer to be revealed.  I still think this is an odd introduction to a set of serial mysteries, but a devious and well thought out one.  I must also admit that I have never watched the PBS mini-series based on these novels, and although I may well do so, it will wait until after I have more fully caught up with the reading. 

     

    Next up, those pesky turquoise books that I don't specifically know how to categorize although I suspect I am placing them both in the memoir category.  First up, Anne Lamott's Help, Thanks, Wow is an essay in book form.  It focuses on the development of gratitude, humility and a sense of wonder (the three essential prayers). This book was given to me when I started chemotherapy and although I wanted to read it immediately, somehow it disappeared into the stack and re-appeared later on, just when I was ready to read it as it happened.  I have long been aware of this book, and even longer been of the opinion that all prayers fall into these same categories, although we are often more cognizant of praying when we are asking for help.  But that is not the point of this book.  Lamott's book is more of a memoir with a spiritual bent, and a reminder of what we all already know but too easily put aside and forget, that not only do we need help in this world, but that we also need to hold onto a sense of wonder, something we all to often suppress as we move from childhood into adulthood, and something that we cannot become fully developed as humans without embracing.  I love Lamott's books, primarily because they explore things we all already know but are inclined to shove aside.  In short they are books about things we should not need to read about in books.  And that, precisely, is the point.

     

    Peggy Knickerbocker's Love Later On is another memoir, this one about falling in love later in life.  Knickerbocker is a character, and she appears to be comfortable with writing about who she is, or was, and the process of allowing herself to upend an otherwise comfortable life to find something unsettling but perhaps more rewarding.  Knickerbocker's life is not my life.  There is a lot of name dropping and discussion of San Francisco food culture, which does not bother me because I am food-obsessed anyway, even though I am not at all a part of that world.  This was a light, refreshing book that made me smile.

     

    The last three books, coded purple for other literature have nothing in common except the fact that they are fiction and I enjoyed all three albeit to different degrees and in different ways.   The first, C. S. Wilkins Bandera Bound,  is a romance, the second in a trilogy revolving around the Buchanan family in Bandera Texas.  I loved this book.  It is a light read with a strong story-line and well-developed appealing characters. I admit it is not like most of the books I love, and yet it appeals in a way that moves my heart, and makes me think of home.  

     

    The next novel, Kristin Hannah's Firefly Lane is a bit more complicated, as is my reaction to it, although I did end up enjoying it in the end.  When I started the novel I had an uneasy feeling I had read it before; then I remembered that I had watched the first few episodes of the Netflix series based on the book before turning it off in frustration.  My frustration with the series probably did not help my attitude about the book.  And yet, I kept reading.  I will admit that I found the characters two-dimensional; they never really changed, never really grew up, and the. story line and dialogue were predictable, manipulative and boring.  In short, typical chick-lit, except that Hannah is a better writer than that, and parts of the book was surprisingly well written given the obvious attempts to exploit an emotional response in the reader.  I enjoyed the way Hannah captured the atmosphere of growing up in the 70s and 80s in the Pacific Northwest, as it added richness to the story, even though her experience, or the experience of these characters is nothing like my experience of the same period in a different part of the country.  I cried, I finished the book. Hannah has stated that this novel is based on a personal storyr, the story of her mother, and as I read my feelings about the book softened. I felt there was something obviously heart-felt on the writer's part, and that this inner struggle contributed to the lapses into poor writing and cliche.   In the end, I am wiling to give Hannah that.  There is something here that is meaningful, perhaps more meaningful, because I find this novel somewhat at odds with the author's other novels.  I accept my complicated response as a good thing, and found this was worth reading.

     

    Last, but far from least, we come to Amy Green's novel Long Man, which I thoroughly enjoyed.   It is a historical novel set in rural Tennessee at the time the TVA was erecting dams on the Tennessee River.  The writing is lyrical, moody, tense and powerful and Greene captures the sense of place and time beautifully.  The story takes place over the course of three days in 1936, in a place that is soon to be flooded. Most of the residents have relocated but a few remain, especially one family, that of Annie Clyde Dodson, her husband James and their three year old daughter, Gracie.  All the characters are well developed and we do get into their thoughts, but the portrayal of Annie Clyde is particularly powerful.  Or perhaps I am biased, because as I read Annie Clyde's thoughts and her interactions with James, I could hear my maternal grandmother, also a southerner, slightly older than Annie Clyde, from Mississippi rather than Tennessee, of a completely different background.  Yet her stubbornness, her sense of history, of place, of belonging, and her inability to suffer the interference of others struck close to home.  I understood Annie Clyde in a way I might not have otherwise, and I understood how deeply she loved James, how deeply she felt tied to that particular place, and the terrible threads pulling at the center of who she was. 

     

    At times the writing is choppy, and transitions between characters are not always smooth, but how could they be?  Part of the power of this book is the very contrast between the beauty of the setting, the rawness of poverty, and the pain and fear and lack of communication that drives so much of the story. That very sense of disruption gets into the skin.  The child, Gracie, disappears in a storm, and a search is mounted.  Everyone comes out, but the search centers more around the fears of the searchers than any reasonable thought about what might have realistically happened to the child.  We are given strong hints about what happened to Gracie early on, and the astute reader will worry that she may not be found in time.  But the stories, the recriminations, the fears and loss, poverty and absence of any attempts at understanding will also resonate with the reader.  In many ways the search for Gracie is the archetypical search for that which has been lost.  Gracie will be found, but her life will never be the same.  Annie Clyde and James will move on as well, but that which is lost is not so easily replaced.  

     

     

     

     

  • A Few Scattered Things

    Not much has happened and yet I want this blog to represent more of my life than mere book posts, even books and the ability to escape into the pages of a book is much of what makes life tolerable.

     

    Colorissimo Scarf

     

    1. I finished another knitting project, an open-work wool scarf knit out of a DK-weight wool, Colorissimo by Lana Grossa.   I am very happy with this project and look forward to wearing it even though I can safely assume that it will be a few months yet before this appears regularly in my wardrobe.

     

    2. I also realized that I made an erroneous assumption somewhere along the line.  I started the year thinking I would continue this blog, and also reconnect with my sewing and knitting blogs.  For a few months I manage to do so.  Then life intervened and I struggled.  At some point I decided that running multiple blogs was a silly idea and I abandoned it.  I was wrong.  

     

    I realize now that decision was fueled by exhaustion, by my inability to really keep up with much of anything in life, in fact fueled by chemotherapy and my struggle withe the initial adriamycin/cytoxan regimen.   My mistake was to assume that,  because my previous goals seemed impossible in that moment,  they would also be impossible in the future.   Life under my current paclitaxel regimen is easier in many ways than that previous regimen, but not without its complications and difficulties.  Still, my head, at least is clearer.  Although I realize that all of my assumptions about life and my priorities pre-2020 are no longer viable, not all of those assumptions should be tossed into the refuse bin.  

     

    Hence I have resumed writing on purlsandmurmurs.  This week I wrote three posts on that blog, two catching up with finished projects, and one about the newly completed scarf show above, basically bringing that blog up to date since my last post in April. I will continue with both blogs and eventually reengage with my sewing blog as well.  I am now imagining a trio of overlapping circles.  They do not have to be completely separate; there will be some overlap between them, but overall they form a balanced whole.  

     

    Navillera1

     

    3. Following a recommendation on Frances's blog, I watched the Korean Series Navillera on Netflix.   I thoroughly enjoyed this program and felt it was incredibly well written and balanced with good development of all the characters, both the primary characters and the supporting roles, throughout the program.  It helped me considerably with my knitting, but as the program was in Korean with English subtitles, it would have been easy enough and engaging enough to enjoy without a knitting project in my hands.  Indeed there were quite a few times I needed to look at the TV and not my lace crossovers, which also provided the necessary balance my neuropathy-addled fingers needed.    

     

    As an aside, I cannot begin to tell you how hard I find it to take a photo of a picture on my TV screen.  Just capturing the photo above took me days of repeating and freezing the screen and balancing my own native inclination to shoot everything crooked and out of focus.  My brothers will tell me how much this frustrated them even when we were in high school.   I must have taken well over 100 photos.  Apparently my personal sense of being somewhat slightly out of focus with the world is deeply embedded.  But then I suspect that life without challenges and complications would be a boring life indeed. 

     

     

  • Colorossimo Scarf

    And now for current projects.

    BeadedColorissimo

    Upon finishing up the purple sweater and coordinating scarf, I was filled with ambitious plans to attack the stash of pending projects.  The first thing I grabbed was a project from one of the early boxes from L'Atelier's magical mystery box tour, which I wrote about here.  I have failed miserably both in terms of knitting the projects from this knit-along and in keeping you up to date on the more recent box additions.  I hope to do better in the future. 

    ColorissimoLatelierVersion

    In mid July I had great plans.  I figured I could knit up this scarf in a week or two, and that I could barrel through some other small projects as well.  Never a good idea to count your chickens before they hatch, as they used to say.  The scarf is not difficult, but it is a little fiddly.  Above is the photo of the scarf from the L'Atelier website.  As you can see there are areas of the scarf knit in the Colorissimo, and contrasting (or coordinating) areas knit in the Beaded Silk and Sequins Light.  I remember loving the combination of yarns as seen in the skein, and loving my imagined version of this scarf, based on my memory from the zoom reveal, and the two skeins of yarn, as seen above.  

     

    I cast on July 17th, filled with hope.  I soon became frustrated.  For one thing, I had started a new chemotherapy regimen, paclitaxel, and although I initially felt much better than on the previous regimen, I was very quickly hit with neuropathy, first in my feet and then in my hands.  I am managing this, better and first, and now less well, with drugs, and since the effects of the chemotherapy are cumulative, I am quite hopeful that we will be soon adjusting my medications as I have the third, and penultimate, dose of paclitaxel next week.    Anyway, I found that I could knit, but could only knit very slowly, needing to rest my hands every couple of rows or so.  

    ColorissimoScarf3

    I did not have access to the pattern photo when I began the project, only the written pattern, but I mostly liked what I saw.  At least until I got to the first repeat of the Artyarns Beaded Silk and Sequins Light.   The pattern directions were to cast on with the Artyarns, and then switch to the Colorissimo.  To finish, one would pick up the cast on and repeat a lace repeat at the bottom of the scarf, which one can see clearly in the L'atelier photo shown above.  The problem was that, although I had no issues with the way the cast on row appeared on the scarf, I took a strong disliking to the insertion of the Artyarns into the Colorissimo.  The color was not far off, but just enough to make me troubled, and I strongly disliked the combination of these particular textures, even though I often love  contrasting, and even disconcerting contrasts.  Looking back on the L'Atelier photo now, I am not surprised at my reaction, and think that had I had access to the photo, I would have simply left out the Artyarns from the beginning.  But there is no point of fretting over these things; one of the constant challenges in knitting, is the process of moving from the imagined interpretation of what we see and the actual realization of the finished product.  Knitting then is a very good metaphor, and training practice for life:  If one is not open to stopping, reconsidering, moving backward perhaps, and starting again, one is never going to get anywhere.

     

    I ripped out the Artyarns and continued with Colorissimo alone.  That took a while because my fingers were not working well, and the slippery yarn, combined with those adorable little sequins, which snag on everything,  would have been slightly problematic in the best of circumstances.  

    Colorissimo2

    I adored the scarf as it progressed however, adored the simple, 4-row, lace pattern.  The problem was that my fingers did not adore the pattern as much as I did, although I suspect that generally my fingers are simply not up for anything at all fiddly at the moment. The two rows of garter stitch were a problem.  The problem was with the wrap and cross section of the pattern, which is actually not difficult.  It took me over half of the sweater for me to figure out a way that my constantly numb and tingling fingers could actually hold and cross the stitches consistently and evenly.  Even so that did not speed up the knitting.

    Colorissimo Scarf

    In the end however, no matter how long this took me to knit, I love the final result.   It is light and airy, and  hopefully it will be warm, but not too warm for Tennessee.  But then, Tennessee winters are highly variable, so like all woolen things, there may be winters of heavy rotation and winters where wool rarely shows its head.  As of yet, I have become probably a bit more warm-blooded, but not yet as warm blooded as the natives.  Of course that may have changed completely after this cancer season as well.  Who knows.

     

    Anyway, if you look closely at the scarf above, you will notice that I pulled the initial cast-on with the Artyarns Silk and Sequins Light out, picked up the Colorissimo and knit a new end border in garter stitch. This is somewhat different than the pattern, but I am happy with it.  I am very happy indeed.

  • Purple Dreams

    Still catching up.  

     

    About the same time I finished, or semi-finished, the striped sweater called blueberry season, I also finished the purple cashmere cardigan knit from a L'Atelier pattern called Back to the Future.  I wrote about the progress of this sweater here, here, and here before my temporary abandonment of this blog.

    Sleeves

    The yarn was also from L'Atelier, their Classica DK cashmere.  I had yardage for the large, 9 skeins, although I actually ended up knitting the medium, which called for 8 skeins.  I used 7 skeins probably for two reasons:  my row gauge was a little on the long side meaning I get fewer rows per inch, which is not unusual for me; and I knit the sleeves to my preference, which is narrower and slightly shorter than the pattern specified.

    Back To The Future 1

    I am actually quite happy with the cardigan.  When I started it I was one size, and although I intended to lose weight I was not quite sure how quickly or consistently I would do that.  This was before my cancer diagnosis. By the time I finished I was another size, and although I liked the fit of this cardigan when it was finished in July, my only caution at the. moment is whether I will still like it in November, when it is likely to be worn.  Of course in July I tried it on over a sundress.  In November there may quite well be a bulkier sweater underneath and I will be done with chemotherapy so I am not quite sure where I will be size-wise.

    Back to The Future 3

    But I am not going to worry about the future right now.  I am quite happy with this sweater and I am looking forward to wearing it.

    YarnSamples

    As I noted above, I had two skeins of yarn left over.  I also had one skein of the same yarn in a teal green left over after knitting a pullover in 2019, a pullover which I apparently never blogged about, but which I have loved wearing.  Initially I thought I would knit a hat from the purple cashmere and use the green, plus a bag of color samples of this yarn to make a coordinating scarf.  I started with the scarf, thank goodness, because I quickly realized I would not have enough yarn unless I also incorporated the purple.  There were a few false starts as I basically made up the striping sequence for the scarf, but in the end I am very happy with the results.  I used up most of the yarn; all that remains is half a skein, or roughly 77 yards of purple DK cashmere. 

    Bits and Bobs Scarf1

    And I am very happy with the scarf.  It goes well with the cardigan, of course, but also with one of my most commonly used winter coats.   

    Bits and Bobs3

    Both of these were satisfying projects.  I have yarn to knit a shell that is meant to go with the cardigan, also in DK cashmere.  But at the moment I am happy with scarves and cardigans.  I want to finish chemo and give myself time for my weight to settle before I start knitting anything that needs to be more closely fitted.

    Bits and Bobs4

    And this catches you up with my interim knitting.  Next up will be a recently finished project.

     

     

     

     

  • Oops. Catch-Up Time.

    Sometime since the last, April, post, I made a stupid decision.  I decided not to maintain separate blogs, and abandoned this blog soon after just having started up again.  I realize now this was a mistake, a mistake brought on more by my exhaustion and frustration going through chemo than anything about either blogging or knitting. Throughout this process, my thoughts and impulses are all over the map.  

    BlueberrySeason1

    I realize now that this was simply due to the fact that I was overwhelmed and sick and feeling incapable of maintaining much of anything.  I was sick pretty much for six weeks, exhausted, unable to breathe and mostly unable to do much.  It is possible that the tide has turned, and my turn with Taxol will be easier.  The first two weeks were hell, but then I was also sick with a bacterial infection and my body was simply overwhelmed.  Yet I am still here, still fighting. I have to endure five more weeks of poison and then perhaps things will start to fall back into place.  Perhaps some of that, like this blog, can start now.

     

    Conveniently, I can pick up right where I left off, with the sweater called Blueberry Season.

     

    When last I wrote, I had just begun this sweater, had only knit a few inches of the body.  Despite the fact that it was knit on large, size 13 needles, I did not finish until the end of June, happily knitting two or four rows each evening, but often too tired to manage more than that small amount. 

     

    BlendyDivision

    I did run out of some of the yarns after finishing the body,  and only had very limited amounts remaining of some others, so I weighed and divided the remaining yarns in order to guarantee that the sleeves would be balanced and have the same striping sequence.  Even if they did not exactly match the body of the sweater, they could, at least, match each other.  

     

    That worked out well, although there were a couple of yarns which I just barely stretched across the necessary knitting, ending up with only a couple of inches, just enough to weave in perhaps, at the end of a row.  As challenging as this was, it was also thrilling and a relief.  What a joy to use every last inch of something!

    BlueberrySeason3

    And yet, although the sweater is technically "finished", or at least I have declared it so on both Ravelry and the other, more general blog, it is not really finished.  Something feels unsettled, and I am not happy. with the finishing.  The sweater has not been put in my sweater drawer where it can patiently await fall.  Instead, it is languishing in a messy pile on the loveseat in the sewing room. 

     

    I mentioned the finishing.  That is somewhat misleading.  I love the narrow knitted band, and it is the most successful of several variations on knitted bands I tried.  I wish I had noted them and shared them with you, but I did not, and I cannot resurrect that data now.  My issue is actually with the inside finishing.  There are many many threads, many which cannot be safely woven in without also being knotted, many that threaten to escape their bounds and drive me crazy.  

     

    I contemplate a facing, thinking that will make the sweater feel more polished.  It may also help it to hang more gracefully.  When I contemplate the facing I then also wonder if I should face the hem as well.  That would require a wider facing than the front band.  A faced hem would mean that the bottom would not roll up as it does now.  A part of me likes the roll, another part of me hates it, and at this point no side has really won, but I am leaning toward straighter and more polish.  I wonder if I should perhaps simply line the entire sweater, making into more of a jacket than a slouchy old thing.  Or am I actually yearning for something this sweater can never achieve?  I admitted at the beginning that it was going to be possessed of more slouch than polish,  Did I misjudge my own sartorial inclinations, or have they too evolved as it seems every other part of me has evolved over the last few months.

     

    I have managed to avoid these issues for nearly two months now, but I do actually want to wear this sweater.  It is nearly September and autumnal weather will eventually arrive.  Granted I did not really venture into the sewing room for a couple of months.  I had some lymphatic cord issues after surgery and could not lift an iron for two months, could not stand at the table and cut or pin, certainly not press.  For a while I was too exhausted and too out of breath to climb the stairs.  Convenient excuses to avoid indecision. But that has changed.  Now to move forward.