I have been absent. I am not yet ready to share the reasons behind my absence. Simply note that I am here once again.
The hardest thing for me is picking up writing once I’ve lost the thread. I want to apologize and explain and instead what happens is I regurgitate up a sea of words and emotions and meandering philosophical thoughts that do not deserve to be unleashed upon the world.
And yet, I have to start somewhere.
I turned the heel on a sock last night. It is a simple sock, my basic, no-pattern, pattern: stockinette sock with a short-row heel. It is the sock I most like to wear, and it is a pretty easy, mindless knit (except for that heel). I started this sock in late May and I should have finished knitting the pair of socks by now. But I didn’t really knit at all last week, and this sock has technically been knit twice to this point, so I have already almost knit two socks except that I only have half a sock to show for my efforts. I don’t mind that, it was an intentional decision
I started out making this sock:
Note that nice honeycomb pattern. It was fun to knit and I was really enjoying the process, with the exception that I somehow kept dropping stitches and having to pic the up again. That was due to a few scattered and unpredictable episodes of bradycardia. Reuniting dropped stitches in pattern was more annoying than it was worth, and, when I tried the sock on, I decided I didn’t really like the bulk of it. Perhaps a tiny flat pattern would work, but the truth is although I love texture and pattern, I want my socks to be smooth and simple. I mostly wear then inside of boots anyway. So I ripped it all out (I was already at the heal) and started over. My simple sock makes me happy.
I’ve been in a mood for tofu and I happened to pick up this book by Fuchsia Dunlop, which is new to my collection:
It has a nice chapter on tofu dishes and I made the Hangzhou breakfast tofu for breakfast the other morning. The requires gently warming silken tofu and then serving it with various toppings. In that sense it is somewhat reminiscent of congee, which I adore, but lighter and with more protein. I served mine with light soy sauce, (I used a Thai brand, the only gluten free light soy sauce I have found), sesame oil, and Chile oil, along with a generous handful of chopped cilantro, scallions, and fried peanuts. This was so simple, quick and satisfying, I can easily see myself throwing this together again, although the toppings will probably vary, just as they do when I have congee. I never used to eat silken tofu, now it is destined to become a pantry item.
I have been working slowly and steadily in the garden. I did not get as much done in the spring as I hoped, due to the same setbacks that kept me from blogging, but I am working now. I’ve only made tiny inroads, but they feel major to me, and I am once again hopeful. Perhaps that, in and of itself, is all that matters. Tired or not afterward, and hour or three in the garden lifts my spirits in ways very little else does.
I planted yellow petunias around the white roses. They haven’t filled in yet, but they make me happy here, even though they are only little yellow blurs in this photo.
I’ve decided to work on one bed at a time, to weed it, do what I need to do, add compost and mulch and plant as much as I can. Without plants, weeds will just take over. Some places get annuals, but if I know what I want, and I can find it I will go ahead and stick a perennial in the appropriate spot. The hope is that this way I don’t keep doing the same thing over and over again. Mostly the underlying structure looks good, and I love the happy beds like the one above, where things just mingle together. I like my gardens to be an informal mash-up.
See you soon, hopefully sooner than the last gap.