Category: Musings

>1 The self-timer on my camera and I seem to be having a bit of a tiff right now so photos of sewing week projects are not yet forthcoming.  I had plans to make another attempt at a photography session today, but there were a couple of electricians crawling around the deck and an audience of strange men put something of a damper on my photographic frolic.

>2
One of the first things that struck me upon my return home was what a total disaster area my gardens had become.  The fact that the front yard was such a mess is about as clear an indication as any I can imagine that I was indeed overwhelmed and depressed.  This was the longest time I had ever spent not gardening since my bout with Melanoma 20 years ago, and I am rather stunned at my ability to ignore my surroundings for so long.  Needless to say,  I felt a strong urge to make some inroads in reclaiming my space.

The gardening season is nearly over, and aside from weeding, cleaning up beds and generally preparing for next year there is little to be done at this point.  However, while I was t the grocery store I saw a couple of these tall millet plants and some mums on sale and decided that it was well past time that I put something in the planters flanking the garage doors. Just this little bit has really perked up the place and my spirits and been enough incentive to start tackling the bigger projects, which abound.

>3  I have also been very busy in the kitchen. 
Even though fall is not quite here I have been overcome with the fall cleaning bug and I started with the kitchen, hauling everything out of the pantry (not difficult as the cupboards were pretty bare upon my return) and scrubbing everything from top to bottom, then restocking.  It was almost as if I scrubbed out some frustrated part of my mind, the part that had been cooking because we had to eat but not enjoying it, and starting fresh allowed me to rekindle my love of food and cooking and just playing in the kitchen…….see what a little sewing time and time spent with friends will yield?  A full rekindling of creative endeavors.  Tonight we had sea scallops (the freshest I have ever seen in a local market) sauteed with roasted red bell peppers and artichoke hearts served with a side of spaghetti squash.

>4  The box I shipped home from San Francisco arrived today. 

In it were some of the things I originally packed to take with me, but decided I could live without for a week or so and a few new things I picked up, including this fabric.  It is a knit with these fabulous blue and yellow brushed mohair stripes.  I got two full panel repeats (gray knit plus stripe) plus one extra striped area. 

I have ideas bubbling about.  Will they work with this fabric?  I have no idea.  I am torn between wanting to jump right in and having second thoughts.  I think I will let this piece sit and inspire me a little bit. 

Once again, I have fallen short of (self-imposed) expectations:

1.  No sewing was done this week in preparation for sewing week.  I was hoping to arrive, an accomplished sewist, with a new garment to show for my efforts. Alas it is not so.

2.  No further reductions were taken in the stack of sewing projects.  All the candidates were able to squeeze into one 21" suitcase and were therefore designated cell-mates for the duration.

3.  Despite occasional misgivings that my project choices were primarily of the warm-weather variety and in direct opposition to any malingering thoughts I might harbor to the effect that fall is just around the corner,  the suitcase remained resolutely in summer mode.   After all it is always summer somewhere in the world. 

4.  The fall fabric stash aided and abetted the summer projects by defying all attempts at being routed out of their hiding places.

Sewing week will be lots of fun.  Lift-off is tomorrow at 6 AM, the airport an hour away, and my dreams and expectations are on full alert.

I am still here, but I seem to be existing in a lull state of late.  It is not just sewing that is suffering due to my general state of ennui; knitting, reading, even cooking have basically ceased. 

This is unusual.  Typically my great stress-reliever is time spent in the kitchen whipping up a meal for someone, or a batch of cookies.  Cooking got me through college and grad school, finals and orals are literally a piece of cake after a night spent baking.  I know that my stress-relieving techniques fed many a happy dorm-mate during my college years.  But now, nothing. Even when I venture into the kitchen the inspiration is gone and the results may not be particularly appealing.  It reminds me how much of what we do is more than just  following directions.  There is a bit of soul that goes into making things.

I know this too will pass.  The one-seam pants that have been languishing for weeks will be conquered (they are not the problem) and I will find where I left my creative side (is it under the living room sofa?)  and snap it back in place.

Things may already be looking up.

I actually sewed a button on my pants rather than safety pin them together yesterday:  They weren’t the buttons that came with the pants.  I know I saved the button when it fell off.  I know I put it in my pants pocket.  But I washed the pants — no button.  It may be lurking in the bowels of the washing machine, or it may have fallen out anywhere — when I changed to swim?.  These are the kinds of things that happen when one is not oneself.

I love that phrase, "not oneself".  Who might I be?

I also turned out a pretty decent dinner tonight.  Simple, but decent.  Pork chops, broccoli, baked potatoes.  All-American right?

A lovely bit of salad was fabricated from a few things I found in the pantry:

A local peach.  A tomato.  The tops to some local onions.  Belgian endive, a navel orange, and a little olive oil round it all out.

I think I’ll be back soon.

Well it seems that time just got away from me and all of last week went by in a blur.  There are several posts that were composed mentally but never committed to paper or computer and now they are lost in the ephemera.

At the beginning of Father’s Day Weekend I still had such high hopes of leaping into my sewing.  I wanted to make a dress to wear the next Friday (i had been hoping to do this for some time) to meet some friends during the day and to go to the symphony with my DH in the evening.  But sewing time was not available and on Monday I realized that it was simply not going to happen, and in fact I had worked myself into such a lather of stress over not being able to sew that my creative instincts were literally being strangled.

I know when this happens it is time to step back.  I told myself that I didn’t need to sew.  After the first day, when I thought I looked like a sack of potatoes and was convinced I had nothing to wear, I calmed down and looked in my closet only to find that I did indeed have clothes and that I looked fine and would look fine on Friday.

That obstacle overcome, I was ready to curl up and read a book, deal with the many meetings that were scheduled last week, and just relax.

Then Friday rolled around and I went in to NYC to meet Carolyn and a couple of other sewing friends for lunch and an afternoon of shopping.  It was a fabulous afternoon with fabulous women.  Carolyn, who is much more together than I have been of late, has already written all about in far more charming detail than I think I can muster. 

After chattering away through lunch, completely wrapped up in our conversations and oblivious to the fact that the restaurant was emptying out and potential shopping time was slipping by, we suddenly came to our senses and headed out the door.

The first stop was MJ Trim  where Carolyn needed some trim for a special project and I just looked around hoping to learn some of the secrets of Carolyn’s remarkable ability to come up with the perfect trim for a project — one that enhances the garment without overpowering or drawing too much attention to itself.

Here are Carolyn and myself contemplating a few trim choices.  Carolyn had good suggestions for everyone’s trim choices and also gently set us straight when we were contemplating bright pretty colors and trims that simply made too strong a statement on their own — not that they weren’t worthy, but that their very strength of character (and price) made them suitable only if a specific project was in mind.

I don’t often managed to keep a project in mind when I am in a trim store….I just grab for anything pretty and all rational thought just leaves my head, but I did find one trim that was deemed useful and versatile, and Carolyn had ideas that had never occurred to me:

This little light and airy sequined trim is perfect for me.  I immediately had one idea for its use and then Carolyn gave me new ideas.  Now that I am home I have several potential projects in mind so I do not think that this is something that is going to languish very long.

Well, that depends on what I actually get around to sewing…..

We also looked at buttons, where Joanna found the perfect button for a handbag she is knitting.  I avoided looking at buttons (except for Joanna) as I have a sizable button collection which does not need general expansion except when I need a specific button for a specific project. 

But I was entranced by the various sew on rhinestones and jewels, especially these sew-on jewels.   You know there have been a lot of these jewels showing up in the spring collections, and there are also a couple of things coming up for fall.  Looking at these little gems, and thinking about the photos I have saved in my inspiration file, I began to get an idea for a project that might materialize later this fall.  I have the perfect fabric in mind, and an idea is taking shape, but I will have to work out the specific details first as I will need to determine how many jewels I will need and in what shapes and colors.  Look for an update as we get closer to the cool weather. 

Then we all trekked over to Metro Textiles, where I thought I was fairly moderate in my purchases, but then moderate is a rather vague term.  Carolyn was definitely in control and she adhered to the principles of her fabric moratorium admirably.  While we were at Metro Textiles, we met Trina, who recently started a blog, the slapdash sewist and who writes wittily about sewing and the pleasures of turning out fun clothes that are far more clever and interesting than anything I ever make. 

Friday night I met G in the city for a symphony concert and we had a slow weekend without any sewing.  Doesn’t this refrain begin to get boring after a while?

But I am waiting for the fabric to arrive.  Kashi said he would ship Monday so I expect my package today.  If I am lucky I will get two packages of fabric today, as I was back in NYC on Monday, meeting another friend, and I ran back to the garment district to stop in at Rosen and Chadick, where I had actually made a reconnaissance run before meeting up with everyone for lunch on Friday, but even then, it was late Monday by the time I got to the store, so the package might not have gone out until today…..

Now, I want to sew and waiting for fabric is sooooo boring….

(you know I have nothing else to sew in this entire house).

A collection of random thoughts on sewing, clothing, and other fiber-related thoughts.

I have been sorting through the fabric collection and in one box, hidden among the neatly folded fabric I found a small stash of ribbons and trims.  Now currently I keep ribbon separately, in a drawer under my file cabinet, but this was not always the case.

I had almost forgotten this beautiful deep maroon trim.  It is darker than it appears in the photo and very long.  I also only have a short piece, not a full yard, about 32 inches total.  I have no idea what I thought I would do with it, but I do recall I fished it out of a remnant box and paid about $1 for it.  Looking at it this weekend all I could think of would be ends on a scarf.  I could use doubled silk chiffon or georgette and put the trim on the ends, or perhaps I could knit something out of a fine silk yarn if I can find the right color, perhaps  a simple stitch with just a bit of a lacy pattern just a little bit above where the trim is attached.

I found this in the same box.  I have much more of this, at least 4 or 5 yards.  I have no idea what I planned to do with it, but there are far more possibilities.  I don’t think this will be used this summer.  Although it looks heavy with the embroidery, the background fabric is actually a very lightweight cotton, almost like a fine batiste or voile.  There were a few other ribbons and trims as well, not as inspiring individually, but perfect for some project or another.  They have all been added to the trim drawer, which reminds me that I have piled a few things in there lately without organizing them, so it is time to do that again soon.

I was at JoAnn Fabrics last week looking for some patterns on sale and I picked up this newest issue of Quilting Arts Magazine.  Now I don’t quilt, and really have had no interest in quilting, but I love this magazine.  I have an ever expanding collection although I only buy them when I happen to see one.  I love the ideas and it always makes me think about sewing and art and fiber in new ways.

I curled up with this magazine one afternoon this weekend and passed a happy hour or two just perusing the pages and dreaming.  If anything will ever get me interested in non-garment sewing, this magazine might do it.  And if it doesn’t that is OK too because I love the way it inspires me to think differently and look at things differently.

Perhaps I should just get a subscription because I get so much pleasure just from reading each issue.  I suppose there is a place for inspiration even if never directly leads to practical applications.

I didn’t make this skirt.  I bought it at Sears last summer when I suddenly lost a lot of weight and needed something to wear in a hurry. It was early July and already on sale.  I paid something like $10.00.

I actually have worn it more this summer than I did last summer, even though I suppose it was last summer’s trend.  Although I still get compliments every time I wear it.  I needed to sew the hook and eye back on this weekend.  Why do commercial closures always come off?

Anyway mending the skirt made me think about summer skirts and seasonal clothes.  This is definitely a trendy item.  But I still love it.  I would love to find prints like this to sew up, but I never quite manage to do so.   I have, on occasion, thought of cutting up my grandmother’s old printed tablecloths, but the fabric is heavier, and I somehow can’t convince myself that I wouldn’t just look like I was wearing an old tablecloth.  I like vintage to some extent but I can’t pull off full-on-vintage it is just not my style. And although I have a friend who could make a skirt from a tablecloth and look fabulous I don’t have confidence that I could pull that off.

But the skirt does make me think of seasonal styles and prints and fabrics and remind me of some of the lovely things I bought at Metro Textiles earlier this spring, with great plans to make them up.  What I really need to do is take some time and pull out a few pieces that I think must be made this summer and make them up.

And while I am thinking of current styles and fabric and design inspirations, I am also behind on my cut and past activities, making collages of my magazine style clippings.  I managed to look through the ever expanding box of clippings and put together two more pages using just a fraction of the inspirations I have saved from the last couple of months:

I don’t know why I can’t manage the same kind of time and attention to detail and layout that I give to these very personal collages and apply it to our photo albums, which are woefully behind.

I tend to grumble that G is a packrack and an accumulator of stuff, and I
am not.  But that is not exactly true.  Although I spent a large part
of the last weekend dealing with DH’s stuff, I also recently had to
come face to face with some of my own collecting propensities, and I
must admit that I am a collector of stuff, not the minimalist I like to
pretend to be.

Of course I still prefer to delude myself into thinking that the
"stuff" I accumulate is important whereas G’s "stuff" is just that —
stuff.  But I am certain he feels the same way about my own piles.

To begin with, I spent the long weekend not sewing or working on
patterns but dealing doing battle with conflicting filing systems.  All
the files from the office had been carted home in early April but
circumstances were such that I had not come to terms with them yet, or
integrated them into the existing files at home.  That situation came
to a head last Thursday (see this post over at my other blog, purlsandmurmurs .  Thursday I got stuff sorted into piles but those piles still had to be interfiled into the system we had at home

And this is were things got dicey.  G and I might be adoring mates, but
our filing systems are completely incompatible.  I am the kind of
person that breaks everything down into specific subjects and files it
meticulously, routinely going through the files and matching,
collating, and weeding the no longer needed or relevant.  G saves
everything, every piece of paper, never goes back to weed anything out,
and has a system that is best described as "insurance in the left lower
drawer" and "bank statements in the right upper drawer"with the general
assumption being that the things on the top of the ever-growing pile
are the more recent. Something had to give, and the rule of the day was
that, since I do most of the filing, and G never remembers where
anything is anyway, my system won.

But that still meant I had to go through 30 years worth of comingled
insurance files to determine what was important, what we still had, and
what should have been long since relegated to the trash pile.  30 big
lawn and leaf bags full of paper, and four days later everything has
been accounted for and organized.

And I am sure that my organized file drawers could be further purged.
I tend to save and collect articles on many subjects and truthfully,
they are not at all frequently referenced.  But they occupy space.  I
am sure, if it came down to it, many travel files and design files and
files on various odd subjects could disappear without any great rift in
the universe, and some day that situation may arise.  At the moment
though eliminating payment receipts for insurance policies that were
cancelled years ago will suffice.

But despite all this, and all my grumblings, G’s stuff only takes up a
little bit of the house (well most of the basement/garage, but I don’t
count that) whereas my stuff is everywhere.

And it is not just the yarn and fabric, which you know I collect but also books, and occasionally CDs.  I can’t imagine a house without books. 

In fact there are books in almost every room of my house and although I delude myself that I like minimalist architecture, it is not really true.  I don’t like a lot of furniture, or photos, or things on tables or walls…. in that sense I am a minimalist.  Some of my friends think my taste in furnishing is rather cold.  And to some extent they may have a point.  I could live in a library if I just moved in a fabulous kitchen and a bed, and the lack of other furnishings or the rows of books would not bother me — I would feel perfectly at home among them.  I could make my bed in a yarn store or fabric store as well.  But none of these places is what most people would call "homey".

Oh well. 

The fact is, although I am currently sated on yarn and fabric, I will buy more.  And although I am also overwhelmed with books, having piles scattered throughout the house waiting for more shelves, waiting to be read, I will also buy more books.  Yarn, books, and fabric are each more than their physical presence.  They all offer potential and dreams.  I’ve talked alot about those dreams.  And books also offer memories, memories of pages read.  Oh I read books from the library….but I won’t say what percentage of books I read at the library eventually end up on my shelves anyway because I need to continue the conversation.

As I sit here writing this, surrounded by piles of yarn and fabric, and yes books, I feel very content, and very lucky to be able to collect these things I love and surround myself with them.  And I can live with G’s piles of paper everywhere, and all the photo stuff in most of the guest bathroom, as he can live with piles of books and yarn and fabric.  Although we occasionally grumble, it is an endearing kind of grumble, knowing full well that these piles are all only a little part of what endears us to each other and allows us the freedom and the peace for our more creative efforts.

The fiddleheads are up, both in the market stalls and in the front yard.  The weeds are especially vigorous this year.  I looked out the door and there was something 4 feet tall that I would swear had not been there the day before.  I know it must have been there, but obviously it had not caught my eye until grew out of proportion to everything else around it. 

Perhaps it was a beanstalk.

I was pretty efficient in my tasks today and I had time to go out in the yard a bit to begin to grapple it back under my control, but I decided I needed sewing time instead.  The yard will become overgrown, and when winter comes it will all die back again, and sometime I will again exert my will on my little piece of land.  In the greater scheme of things it is a small matter.  As for sewing.  I am a much nicer person when I can spend a little time fondling the fabric.

I almost forgot to bring the garbage cans down from the top of the hill.  I had been left a note on the can that I should put all my paper trash in plastic bags so that it doesn’t blow around when they are emptying it into the truck.  I know this makes sense, and I know many people are required to tie up all their trash in plastic, but there is no local requirement about this and the garbage collection company never demanded it before.  Since we contract individually with collection agencies, it is not a service provided by the community and paid for by our taxes even though they are high enough, I never bothered.

I do understand the reasoning behind the request although I think it seems awfully wasteful of plastic bags.

But then I don’t want to run around collecting paper from the neighbor’s yards either.

Thanks to a generous offer from a dear friend to run an errand for me yesterday I actually found a few moments to focus my efforts in the sewing room. 

There is a little more fabric in residence at the moment than will fit in the allotted storage area so a few pieces have been allowed to take up residence on the cutting table.  These are knits that should fill my immediate requirements for summer  tops, a few pieces that are crying out to be made up soon, and a couple of other pieces that I just want to get off the fabric shelves and into the closets.

Then, because I had "free" time, I actually got some of the fabric washed and ready to cut and I was able to pull out the two versions of the pattern drafts I made for that last Burda knit top and start to compare what I had done, so that I can make the necessary fixes and continue my work on this pattern.  I may interrupt for a few projects, depending on mood, but I definitely want to perfect this pattern a little more, and I will definitely wear it again.

And you know what?  It was so nice to play with fabric, dream of garments, and actually look at pattern pieces and try to reassemble my thoughts after a couple of months absence.

It seems like my intellectual capacity has dried up to the point is almost hard and desiccated. I wonder if there is a chance of its continued survival.

Mostly all I feel is tired of late. It is not really that I am working that much harder. I do the same things I did when my beloved was away at work all day. It is not the fact that he is recovering from surgery and unable to help that bothers me, it does not. I do no more than before. But why do I grow impatient with the constant repetition, the constant little requests, the reordering of my day again and again? I am not frazzled, swamped or otherwise overwhelmed. I enjoy the time we spend together. And yet there seems to be no time for my own pursuits. I have sewn nothing. I steal small snatches of time to pursue a little knitting, but not enough time and little progress is made. I haven’t read a thing. The reading materials pile up higher and higher. Even finding time for exercise seems difficult. I get started and am interrupted; the time steals away and the impetus is gone. When I find a few moments to spare I desire nothing more than sleep, although even my attempts at sneaking off for naps are interrupted. I should not need them. I am not getting that much less sleep than usual; naps should be unnecessary.

What is the source of this ennui?

Last night I was up for a few hours in the middle of the night and I spent the time reading. I picked up The Omnivore’s Dilemma, which I had abandoned a month ago, when life got crazy all of a sudden, and I truly enjoyed reading it. Lost in the words on the page I blissfully passed a couple of hours until I realized that I was dead tired and was having trouble keeping my eyes open and my head upright. I went to sleep immediately after Michael Pollan had killed his boar and was disgusted with the necessary process of slaughter. You would think this image would keep me awake, but it did not. I had pleasant dreams of the rituals of food, and sharing memories with people one cares about. I woke up refreshed many hours later.

And why, during another day, with endless tasks stretching out before me do I feel so exhausted again, unable to read, unable to knit, unable to sew, wanting only to curl up in a little ball and sleep, sleep, sleep.