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Little Bits of Joy

A fold-down ironing board was installed in the laundry room yesterday. It wasn't the ironing board I wanted or the one the builder and I talked about and ordered. But it works and it makes me happy and that is enough.

Here are a few other things that make me happy:

Flowers that G bought me for Valentine's Day, flowers he went out and chose himself without my assistance. These are the only flowers I have had in the house that have not been nibbled by Sam the cat. No matter how much I may love flowers I do not love them enough to want to clean up cat puke. Of course this may not be the flowers so much as the fact that they are on the kitchen cabinet and Sam can't jump that high.

The pretty cherub that G inherited from his aunt. This was just supposed to be a temporary location, but I love seeing her everytime I walk through the house.

The new sofas which arrived last week and how nice they look with my teal and turquoise cushions and a lovely yellow throw. Sam is pretty cute too. Looking at this picture makes me want to go join Sam on that sofa and take a little nap.

And since I started with the ironing board, I have to admit that I loved ironing today, smoothing the fabric, reveling in the wonderful aroma of just-pressed cotton. As I ironed I was thinking about how nice it is to have this ironing board downstairs, separate from the upstairs pressing area (not yet set up) which led to thoughts of sewing and all the things I want to make. Instead of taking a nap I frittered a little time looking at new patterns on the Vogue website but I haven't ordered any yet; I haven't ordered any patterns since last summer and I don't need to order any right now. I do however think I may be ready to start unpacking fabric soon.

March 7, 2012
Monday Morning and a Dinosaur Weekend

Monday morning here. As you can see, I am still not back on my previous schedule, posting early as I did when I lived in the Hudson Valley. But at least I found my tripod. Unfortunately I did not manage to find it when I was wearing my fabulous new jeans, or my lovely new Lafayette 148 blouse, and I still have to figure out the light and/or buy a full-length mirror. The mirror issue may be important.

Anyway, there is not much new here: BR corduroy pants, white JCrew perfect-fit tee, blue tunic/dress. All posted before. The shoes are relatively new, picked up one day when I was running errands and my shoes, which I had been wearing all fall, decided to stretch out so that I could not keep my heels in them as I walked. Or perhaps my feet shrank, but I think that is unlikely. Anyway, I was hobbling and shuffling, and I stopped in the only shoe store in Knoxville I have found to be even passably worthwhile and bought a pair of black clogs, these black clogs, and I've been wearing them ever since.

But back to Monday. For now at least, in this kind of mixed-up world of mine, I am happy for Mondays. On Monday morning I become relatively off-duty for a whole day, after having only part-time caregivers on the weekend. This was my own choice, having the weekend with G, and also the hope of occasionally spending some if with family, including that charming grandson. But very often by Monday morning I am just tired, and more than content to sit in my office with a second cup of coffee letting my thoughts meander along. Monday morning is my time to think, to play, to read blogs, to take a breath before I resume unpacking.

And I am still unpacking: the office is still a mess, and it can drive me to distraction. But I have cleared a small corner at least, and I can turn my chair away from my computer and look out the window, which has now been cleared, along with the cheerful corner bookcase, which I finally assembled, unpacked, and populated with cookbooks this weekend.

As you can see, the books did not all fit, and the collection was substantially pared down before the move (although I probably have an equal number on my Amazon wish list). The overflow is stacked on the floor, where I am contemplating the possibility of a Sapien bookcase. But there is time. There are a good half-dozen books missing, not enough for a boxful, so I suspect they were slipped here and there into other boxes, hiding away in other rooms. I will get to them, and assess the needs for overflow shelving once the unpacking is finished. The simple truth is that I will always have an overflow of books and piles are just a fact of life, so there is no particular rush.

It was not all work and unpacking this weekend, however. Sunday we went off to an extravaganza of dinosaurs with step-daughter and grandson and had a wonderful, if exhausting, time. There were all kinds of marvelous things, with models of dinosaurs both sweet and menacing, eerie lighting, and all kinds of marvelous buttons to push, buttons that could make dino swing his head, stare you in the eyes, move his hands or his tail, or even watch dino-ribs moving in and out rhythmically as he breathed. Fascinating to a five-year old dinosaur fan. Fascinating to grandmothers too.

I would have liked to take dino-photos, but my feeble iPhone attempts are basically laughable with all kinds of odd glowing colors. Oh well. I could have gotten the feel of the place had I taken the time with my bigger camera, but then of course I would have lost that grandma time. So it is, and this is perhaps why I have never been a particularly good at the casual snapshot or the recording of family events, my personal sense that I can live the moment or photograph it, with the accompanying feeling that the photographs never quite make up for the memories lost.

February 27, 2012
Blue Skies

A few days ago there was an article in the Wall Street Journal on Stress. You would have found me over there at the extreme end of the red zone; exhausted, absent-minded and make mistakes in the simplest of tasks.

We closed yesterday and the relief was palpable. Even drive home, through rush-hour traffic in pouring rain did not dampen my spirits.

Here is a photo of the house-in-waiting, empty and echoing with unfulfilled promises. Or at least that is how I felt at the time. I have to thank almost everyone involved, and most of all our builder for working with me to allow me to move our belongings in before closing. That house is no longer empty but it is far from unpacked. I have created small islands of calm amidst the boxes, the sitting room shown in this photo is now cozy and comfortable.

Posting may be erratic for another week or so, but I will try to get back on track.

January 27, 2012
Notes at the end of the week

Here is a blurry cell-phone shot of my knitting progress. The second sleeve for this sweater will be finished tonight. It should have been finished before now, but I have fallen asleep on the sofa two nights running. I'm not yet that near done; Once I sew the shoulder seams, I have a large, roughly 8-inch shawl collar to pick up and knit.

Temporary residence is getting wearing. Luckily it looks like we may be in the house and living amongst the boxes within 10 to 11 days. We close on the new house next Friday, and our old furniture is scheduled to arrive on Saturday. Even if there are delays I hope it will be here no later than Monday, and we are in, even if still unsettled.

These photos were taken at the beginning of the week. Since then, more has been accomplished. The floors have been put in. That annoying little granite backsplash/ridge above the countertops has been removed and the tile backsplash has been installed, although I haven't seen it yet.

G was surprised that I would chose such traditional cabinets. Apparently my style is quite modern. I reminded him of the agreed-upon parameters (stay within the builder's standard options). I can always reassess in a few years.

For now I am ready to settle in.

January 6, 2012
Muttering While Packing, or is it Packing While Muttering

Yesterday I was at the vet, sitting and waiting for my (actually Sam's) appointment and I overheard a telephone conversation that just had me livid completely out of proportion to the situation.

Someone was on the phone (duh) and she said "yes Thanksgiving dinner was good" …"The man cooked it" …"he even made stuffing"…."It was really good"…. "I couldn't believe it either".

I was really about to lose it when we were called into the examining room and I started fretting about Sam, who somehow developed diabetes just as we were putting the house on the market and are packing and moving and it is absolutely the worst time for a poor sweet sensitive cat who really just likes things to be quite and uneventful to get sick, and I forgot about the conversation. I forgot about it until I was in the car and it just started rolling around in my head again.

I don't even know who I feel this whole conversation is more insulting toward — men, whom we assume can't cook (are they too dim? or is it that they are too bright and cooking is mere "women's work") But then if it is the latter it is really demeaning to women. But it is demeaning even if we think only women can cook because they "pay attention to the details more" and taking pride in the idea that women cook and men don't. As soon as we decide something can only be done by one or the other sex, we are putting both sexes down, as if each group only holds a subset of the qualities that make up the whole creature known as "human".

Why do we give a guy who cooks a turkey AND dressing accolades? Why don't we marvel that mom or grandma or the lady next door just happened to turn out a fabulous turkey and dressing and maybe even (hold your breath) PIE. Really we take it for granted that women can make Thanksgiving dinner and really only comment upon those who fail. Why is it considered an affront if a woman can't cook a decent turkey but if a man burnt the turkey no one would care? Why do we applaud a man who "helps" around the house and condemn the woman who doesn't?

Yes there are very real biologial differences between men and women and I applaud them, and these differences do affect or pyschology and everything about us, and I applaud that too. But the rest of it? Why do we have to get ourselves so invested in our own little pieces of the metaphorical pie? Why limit ourselves? Why limit others? Just why?

Really, we let men get away with far too much. And don't give ourselves nearly enough credit.

Asside from my self-absorbed mental peregrinations, I am occupied with the mundane tasks of packing. Being the perhaps neurotic person I am, I have color-coded the new house and purchased 10 colors of duck tape to assist in the packing process.

Aside from cataloging box contents, I am wrapping each box in the appropriate color tape so that it will be evident where it goes when it is unloaded. It will also be very evident if any box ends up in the wrong room.

I can see already that I will need a great deal of tape and that I did not perhaps purchase enough of certain colors. Luckily that situation can be remedied with a simple trip to the store.

In the meantime, it may be overkill, but the colors make me happy.

November 30, 2011
Assessing, Wearing, Packing…

Although it is probably possible to arrange to move and pack and also blog consistently, and I am sure there are people who can manage it with panache, I am apparently not one of those people. So postings shall just remain erratic, regular, in that I believe I can manage more than one post per week, but not on any fixed schedule.

I finally took Creep off the blocking board. Getting it on my body in a way I liked proved to be a bit more problematic and there was a brief period when I feared I had created an orphan, a loved orphan but an orphan nonetheless.

It proved not to be so. Here I am wearing Creep with a black turtleneck and black Joseph Ribkhoff pull-on pants, so far the only successful outfit. Behind me on the bed you see the pile of rejected options. Quite a few of them will work in time, once I accumulate the proper supporting players. For example, Creep looks fabulous with my new deep greenish-black J Brand cords, but not in combination with any top currently in my possession. And as you can see, Creep definitetely needs to be worn with a top.

There are also some issues with placement, namely taming Creep's natural urge to become a boob harness, that need to be considered. Although there are probably situations in life where breast bondage may be desired, they are certainly outside my normal territorial rangings, consisting as they do of post office, grocery store, pharmacy, and doctor's offices. In fact, I can comfortably say that I hope never to find myself a situation where Creep's asset-framing propensities were considered desireable, if not de-rigeur.

As to other things, I am almost finished packing up my yarn and fabric stash. Of course I have to lay my hands upon every piece, admire it, contemplate its potential and finally fold (fabric) or count (balls of yarn) each item before cataloging it and boxing it away. I expected this to be the most time consuming, and overwhelming part of the packing process and in many ways it has been. I will finish packing bulk of my collection today but there will still be the last few boxes to address before my self-imposed Thanksgiving deadline: the last box of fabric, the one I hope I might get an opportunity to sew before I move, even as I know it is not likely, and the last box of yarn, which shall be the first in Knoville, the box of yarn that will keep my fingers busy those evenings first in temporary housing and then while unpacking once we are finally in place.

November 13, 2011
Plans on Paper

I've been playing these little games, moving tiny bits of colored paper around, pondering their placement, loosing this bit or that bit, and then rearranging them all again. Every time I would get something on paper that seemed right, I would realize that some important ingredient had gone missing and I would have to start over.

At times I really just wanted to start pulling out my hair.

All this has been necessary in order to figure out what furniture I am going to move and where it is going to go in the new house. Now that the framing is almost complete, the deadline looms for telling the builder where I need outlets, telephone jacks, cable connections etc. Aside from that, time is running short. It is already November and I think it is best to sell as much as possible before the holiday hullabalu officially begins in a few short weeks.

Although it was fun playing with colored bits of paper representing furniture in our primary living space, I initially thought that would be the hard part. After all, I am really not moving any furniture to my new studio, planning on setting it up completely when we get to Knoxville. I thought that part would be easy, but of course it is not.

It is kind of strange, planning a space for a studio, when I haven't sewn much in a long time. It sounds kind of pretentious. I don't know exactly where I am going with this, only what I am interested in doing. I am not planning on going into business, this is not a good time for me to go back to work although a part of me would love to do so, so I feel a bit of the dilettente, and it makes me peevish sometimes. And yet, I will have the time, and the space, and I have sewn a great deal in the past, hopefully learning something from that experience, and it is time for me to work at exploring something I love and perhaps determining how far I wish to pursue it.

But even though this is not in any way an industrial space, and home power requirements will more than meet my needs, there are special circumstances to be taken into consideration beyond basic "bedroom wiring". And so planning for my work space has taken even longer than the entire living portion of the house. For example, I know I will need more circuits than are normally alloted for a "bedroom" space. I will need seperate circuits for pressing and sewing. I know that the press and the iron together can draw up to 3000 watts of power. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does that is enough to blow a shared circuit if anything else is in use on that circuit. It is much cheaper to plan for electric usage in advance if possible than it is to fix a problem later on.

I have two small rooms. My basic plan is that one room will house fabric storage, cutting, and pressing as it seems logical to me that these things should all be in close proximity. This room will also house my knitting machine, primarily because there is a convenient place for it next to the yarn closet and also because I can close the door, so that I can keep work out if necessary without worrying about little kitty claws.

The second room, which is open to the stairwell, will contain my actual machine work stations, pattern storage, books, and another surface that I am calling my finishing station. This is where I can block sweaters without having them take up space on my cutting tables, or where I can sew sweaters, work on beading or embroidery or other handwork. These are all tasks I prefer to do standing up with a generous work surface. I have learned from experience that it is best if finishing and cutting occupy different spaces. This second room, the sewing room, will also have a cozy window seat where I can sit and look up details or thumb through my books and inspiration files.

Although I went ahead and pasted up a rough plan for my own reference and for the builders, I know there will be some minor variations when it comes to final execution. Yet this is enough to let me know where I need power and where I need light. I am glad I did this now because although I had a vague idea of what I wanted in my head, I hadn't actually worked out the requirements for a workable space. There have been more than a couple of compromises but I think I have come up with something I can work with and it is a good place to start.

November 1, 2011
Sunrise Glow

The skies were clear this morning as the sun rose, and the temperatures have finally equalized enough that we no longer have the thick early morning fog rising off the Hudson River. For a few brief moments everything just glowed with the warmth of the early morning light. I grabbed my camera but as I went outside my battery died and I had to run in again. I only managed one photo before the light suddenly shifted, and you can, in fact see the beginnings of that shift along the bottom of the photo and along the edge of the opposite shore.

That lovely autumnal color is as much the light as the colors on the trees. Most of the trees are actually bare, which you will see if you look closely. The colors have not been good this year, which is a sad kind of fairwell. There has been very little red, the leaves mostly just turning yellow then brown and falling off the trees. There has been far too much rain. The ground has been saturated for weeks and never really dries out. Trees don't any better with overwatering than houseplants.

Still, it is nice to have one last autumnal photograph to remember the old place by. We have decided that we will be moving in December. The new house should be ready the very end of the month or beginning of January and we should really be down there before closing anyway. So there will be a few weeks in temporary housing. I'm not ready, but I really won't be until it is done, and I already feel like our life is in a kind of limbo. Might as well get things moving along.

October 22, 2011
Cabinets and Flooring and Tiles, Oh My!

Two weeks ago today, I was in Knoxville. It was a quick trip. I left my house at 6 AM Wednesday morning and was back home 37 hours later.

I arrived at my meeting place early and thought I'd get an outfit photo, but no one was around in the parking lot so I perched the camera on the top of the car. Then my phone rang. So much for distance. Just as my phone call ended, my real estate agent pulled up so I sureptitiously scooped my camera into my purse.

We spent the afternoon picking flooring and cabinetry and countertops. Actually we spent the afternoon writing down all the options and talking to the builder, it didn't take me long to pick from the available options at all and I was determined to stick as closely to the standard options as possible. I didn't quite manage that, but I came acceptably close.

I picked a pretty granite called Sapphire Blue for the kitchen countertops, and I opted to use the same granite in the master bathroom. That was an upgrade. I manged to find a cultured marble I liked for the guest baths, but not the master, so I went with the granite.

It quickly became apparent that we were going to have to go to tile showroom to pick the tiles as they only had a couple of options at the model and none of them were acceptable. I had hoped we would be able to do it all Wednesday, but it was not to be as the person we needed to meet at the tile showroom couldn't meet with us until Thursday morning.

I had really wanted to go to my favorite museum on Thursday morning and see an exhibit that was about to close but that was no longer possible. Luckily by the time we got back to the office and I retrieved my car, it was only a little after 4 PM. I figured I had just barely enough time to drive to downtown Knoxville and get into the museum before they closed at 5. I got lost, but I still made it.

I didn't have much time but I managed to see the exhibit I was looking for as well as take a quick turn around, not enough time to slowly absorb and commune with the works, but enough time to savor minute moments. This piece, made of mylar, foam core board, intaglio etching, and graphite by Crystal Wagner, a part of the permanent collection, really captivated me as it seemed to hint at the spirit of the imagination and the boundaries between the "real" and fantasy, reminding me of the magic that can be found when we allow ourselves to dream and transcend the everyday, that it is possible to be both in the world and apart from it.

And then, it was done. The museum was closing. I was on my own again alone in the parking lot. No one would be home yet at my step-daughter's house so I had some time. I thought I would try the camera on the roof of the car trick again. I was not particularly successful. The sun was so bright I couldn't tell when the camera was about to go off. I was so wired I couldn't stand still. Actually I kind of like this photo, it captures the feeling of the entire trip, a little dizzy but fun.

Thursday morning we went to the tile showroom. Once again I knew right away exactly what I wanted. Once again it took longer to write everything down and work out the details than it did to make the actual choices. And a good thing that because I just barely had time to grab a bite of lunch and head back to the airport.

I took photos to show G some of the selections I had made. So far, these photos are my only link to my new home. The first picture shows the cabinets that will be in both the kitchen and the master bathroom. Above the cabinet is the tile that will be used for the kitchen backsplash and the tub surround in the master bath. I thought I had taken a photo of the tile next to the granite as well, but apparently not. Below the cabinet is the master bath flooring. The kitchen floors will be wood.

This second photo shows the tile I chose for the fireplace surround in the living room. This isolated image is the only concrete thing in that living room as it is the one space that remains completely shrouded in my imagination, a space undefined until I can at least see some floor plans and get my mental bearings.

August 10, 2011
The View from the Kitchen Sink

On Saturday, Lisa posted photos of the view out the window from her kitchen sink and I was entranced by her lovely gardens, her flowers, and the connections she made. Of course she was responding to yet other posts extoling the virtues of views from kitchen windows, but I have not yet visited those posts.

I've shown you the view from my kitchen window before, but here is this year's version. It is a little bit overgrown. I've been rather lax about weeding as my mind has already moved forward onto the preparing for what comes next; weeding isn't really on my horizon at the moment. Of course I am cognizant that once I am ready to put this house on the market a massive prepping of the garden will be required. Besides, I like to tell myself that the weeds meet a need, providing shade and shelter to more delicate plants in this summer of unwelcome heat.

Standing at my sink this morning I realized that I will only be gazing on this view a few more months and I shall miss it. I shall miss seeing the deer on the lawn in the evening despite the fact that there have many times when I have run out the front door shooing them away from from some flower or another. I shall miss the early morning parade of the turkeys with their brood of little chicks. The guard turkey always sits up high in the pine at the upper left corner of the photo, and if I wander out the door without having checked on their presence first, he lets out a frantic call and the turkeys scatter quickly, often before I even get the door completely closed behind me. I will miss watching the rabbits and the woodchucks and the cavorting of the chipmunks on the stone walls.

All of this thinking about kitchen windows reminds me that there will be no kitchen window in my new house. If there were I would only get a view of the neighbor's kitchen window a few feet away, and the thought of looking out the window into the eyes of another person standing at their own kitchen sink already makes me shiver just a bit. Perhaps no window is better. I don't quite know how I will adapt to that yet. I do know that when I am standing at that sink my back will be turned to the long open space consisting of the dining room, the sun room and the screened porch. Perhaps I will put a mirror up on the wall above the sink so that I can be simultaneously looking forward and backward. Or is it backward and forward?

August 8, 2011