Binging

So despite my exhortations to myself after the house-guests left, and the last of the birthday cake, tapioca pudding, and other dessert-like concoctions were finished, that I would settle down and cut out the carbs and knock of the few pounds I had put back on over the last month,  it hasn't happened yet.

Of course I just should have thrown those things that I didn't really want out.  But I have a complex of some sort about throwing out food, even food I don't really want.  Well that's not completely true.  I have a sweet tooth, always have, and although I can go for long periods without a fix, once my body gets ahold of a little sugar it want's more, more, more.  And even though I don't want to eat more, at least on the rational side of my brain, my little fat cells are jumping up and down saying things like "one more piece of chocolate cake won't hurt", which we all know is the worst kind of self-deception. I should convince myself that eating the stuff is a greater crime than just tossing it.

But I was doing better. 

Then we were at the store an G saw these little gluten free pizza's in the freezer case.  And we tried them.

They weren't bad; they needed to be cooked longer than the instructions specified, and I think they would have been better off put on a hot brick or something to make the crust a little crispier.  We both agree that they are no where near as good as the pizza we used to get from Napoli & Sicilia Pizza; but I can't eat real pizza anymore and G, bless his heart, refuses to go get one if he can't share with me.

They were probably the best of the packaged gluten-free pizzas I have tasted.  But they weren't so good that they would cure any pizza-craving.  I think the pizza crust I used to make, the first time I was gluten free, before the doctors all told me I was wrong and I went back to bread, was better.  I proved the doctors wrong didn't I?.  Anyway, all this did is remind me that I used to make a pretty good gluten-free pizza crust, one good enough that my non-gluten-free friends actually liked it and asked for it, not knowing it was gluten-free.  And it reminded me that I need to start baking again, but only eventually, because the pizza also started up that little carb-craving cycle, you know the one where you burn through the carbs real fast, then crash and feel tired and loggy and want more carbs.  Really, I might be able to say no easily to drugs, alcohol, or tobacco, but carbs are their own kind of crack.

And we had other carbs in the house, so I ate them.   G can easily ignore whatever junk food is in the house.  Chips, cookies, cake:  none of these things tempt him and he can ignore them even when they are sititng right in front of him.  Not me.  If there are chips I will eat them.   If I bake something I will eat it, not G, me. 

We also picked up these little corn and flax seed chips at our local specialty market/farm stand and they are addictively good.  I don't know who the manufacturer is because the store puts them in containers with the store's name on them but they are good:  corn masa, salt, and flax seeds, all fried up and crispy.

G liked them and ate about a quarter of them.  I finished off the rest of the package.  Not all at once mind you, but still, I ate them. 

The only thing G can't resist are Hershey's nuggets, and luckily despite the sugar, they completely don't appeal to me.  Besides, they contain gluten, so the fact that we buy 15 pounds of nuggests at a pop is no temptation at all.  G has a 3 to 5 pound a week nugget addiction, but I can look at a Hershey's nugget and see nothing but pain and suffering.

I wish I could make that work for more of life's edible temptations.