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Restingmotion

  • Bright future

    Binariotee
    Spring colors.  I am knitting with spring colors, although there is still plenty of wool in my plans and plenty of cold weather still hanging around.  But the days are warmer and brighter because the sun is higher in the sky.  I know spring is on its way because the sun has risen past that point where I have to close the blinds in the late afternoon or the house is filled with the blinding glare and reflection of the sun on the Hudson. 

    I also know spring is on the way in another sense because everything suddenly looks so much brighter.    I have been worried and preoccupied lately and I have not really felt like sharing, mostly because my thoughts and fears were far to close to my heart.  Call it superstitious perhaps, but I felt that if I voiced my wishes and dreams they might not come true.

    But, as I said, Spring is in my step, in more ways than one.  I think it was good that Easter came early this year, because Easter has always been a harbinger of big changes and transitions in my life.  Again call me superstitious but I think Easter was on my side. 

    DH was in the hospital last week.  He went in Wednesday for an aortic valve replacement and possible bypass.  I was worried, but not specifically about the surgery, but about many things, and I had hopes, high hopes.  DH has had a hard year since the lung cancer that was caught and removed last spring, and many other health issues in the ensuing months, some more minor, some more major.    He is home now and doing fabulously well after the surgery.

    I spent the days in the hospital, but I thought I would sew in the evenings when I was home.  I always forget how exhausting sitting can be.  Those things I attempted to sew are best forgotten now.  It is only fabric after all and there is some fabric that will never be shown on this blog.  There was also a laughable attempt at a muslin, but that at least can be redone.

    There are bits and pieces of things in process, and hopefully there will be things to show again soon, not just mistakes to toss into the trash.  I'm not quite there yet but I will be because my heart is lighter now and my ability to focus has also returned.

    You see, I knew that the surgeons could fix DH's heart, this is such a common procedure now and the evidence was that this would be pretty straightforward.  But I had been watching my love slip away mentally, no longer paying attention, not seeing things, not following conversations, losing the ability to perform simple tasks.  This was very sad.  And although it is known that heart disease can cause one to be tired. and lose mental acuity, none of his doctors believed that the heart disease was the root of his problems.  They expected chest pain and angina, traditional symptoms, which my DH did not have until very recently, although he had a severely stenotic valve, and extensive disease in two arteries.  But he always did marvelously on stress tests, felt fine when he exercised, had no chest pain, and had no severe arterial blockages.   They all thought the memory issues had to be caused by something else because they see these as "secondary symptoms".  But they found extensive disease over a widespread swath of the affected arteries, just not a thick blockage at a single point.  They found a seriously malfunctioning valve.

    And the first thing I noticed is that DH is brighter.  He notices things he hadn't noticed for a long time such as colors and music.  It is as if he could see and hear, but he had stopped registering these things.  We have conversations again.  He remembers what was said.  He cracks jokes.   He reads an article and discusses it.  These are all things I once took for granted.  These are all things I thought I had lost. 

    I had hoped that the surgery would bring my DH back to me, at least in part.  I am reveling in finding this person has been returned to me.  And yes, now I know that spring is truly on its way.

  • Slip sliding away

    March seems to be slipping by.  "Real Life" has been intruding here (how dare it?) and I have been a little flustered and unable to focus on my various projects.  And yet some of these same projects are progressing albeit slowly.  I have also managed to gather all my UFO's into one place where I can hopefully whittle down the stack

    These came in the mail today:
    Patronesmarch1
    I don't need to tell you that my mind is overflowing with ideas and inspirations and even a quick glance here says that even more is about to be piled on the overflowing scales.

    They will at least entertain me during the remainder of my "busy season" here. 

    I am still knitting, and yes sewing some too, but not on anything new or creative, mostly mending and alterations and simple gifts.  Things should slow down a bit in about another week and I hope to be a little more regular in my progress, hopefully with many things to show.

    In the meantime I have house guests to attend to as well as various gatherings of the clans and many goings on which require my attention.

    Back soon.

  • Lost and Found

    It seems sad to report that the most enjoyable and memorable event of last night’s trip to NYC for a concert was the roast beef sandwich consumed at 11:30 on the train home.

     

    In an ideal world of course, the plagues, stresses, deadlines and distractions of life would not interfere with one’s enjoyment of music and the sheer pleasure of the event itself would outweigh and eliminate ordinary stresses from the mind. But I do not live near a venue for great music and cannot easily decide on a whim to attend a concert, and in this day of scheduled events tickets are often purchased long in advance. Not that the anticipation lessens the enjoyment of the work. An impending concert is normally a source of joy and anticipation. But I have felt distracted of late, unable to focus, without perspective, and to some extent attention. It seems the demands of others have sucked away all my time and attention of late and I have felt deprived of the ability to pursue my own interests. I had hoped that a concert would lure me back into my own piece of the world. This proved not to be the case.

     

    Alas, my loss.

     

    But the evening was not, in fact wasted. I read. I let my mind wander. I thought about my book. It felt like the first time in weeks that I had actually been able to concentrate on anything without constant interruption and disruption. It was a blessed relief.

    I took Doris Kearns Goodwin’s Team of Rivals with me for the train. I had started this book months ago, had gotten all wrapped up in it, devouring the first few chapters before my chain of thought got interrupted with whatever minor household or familial crisis was swirling around last fall. I picked it up occasionally, luckily finding that I retained the details easily and was often able to resume wherever I had left off as if only a day had passed, but then it drifted further out of my thoughts. I did a lot of reading in January but did not return to that book. By the time I was ready for it again, the opportunity was gone, swept up in the demands and distractions of other peoples crises.

     

    And here I was, after a disastrous day, a day where I almost decided not to go in to the city, finding myself finally at my wits end ready to escape, tired of being patient and helpful, ready to wrap myself up in a book and lose the world.

     

    And I did. The train trip was far too short. And I found the key to that part of my brain that I had felt was missing.

     

    Actually the concert seemed promising. The entire evening was devoted to Richard Strauss’s “Ein Heldenleben” and G had been anticipating it and eagerly awaiting the concert for weeks. I, not so much, but it is not one of my favorite works. That we didn’t enjoy the performance really had nothing to do with the musicians. I was bored with the “behind the music” production that occupied the first half of the program. It was an interesting exercise, and I can see its purpose to appeal to different audiences and reach out beyond the “stuffy” and “highbrow” monikers that are so often flung at classical music. But it did not appeal to me. It was well done. But I personally did not like the changing photographs and images, the bits of the music pasted together to illustrate points. To me it seemed too fast, too much like a pastiche of ideas with no depth. The presentation reminded me of nothing so much as the Nicole Kidman movie, Moulin Rouge, which I also hated. I was bored to tears.

     

    I was looking forward to hearing the work. The week had been stressful; a little bombast seemed like the perfect antidote. But I had also probably already closed off a part of my brain and I was not really receptive to something new. I wasn’t really listening to the music. I wanted the familiar, overblown Germanic heroicness that is “Ein Heldenleben”. But flash and bombast was not Alan Gilbert’s take on the piece. The performance was beautiful. It seemed to accent the romantic nature of the piece, the intricacies, which had I been more receptive I might have enjoyed. But instead I was bored and closed off. It was unfortunate.

     

    I would like the opportunity to hear it again. But now the opportunity is lost and I missed my chance. It reminds me of that phrase from Frank Herbert’s Dune, “Fear is the mind-killer” but I would restate this as: Boredom is the mind-killer.

     

    G was bored as well and we snuck out a few minutes early. G wanted bombast. He loves bombast. Strauss and Bruckner are his favorite composers. I don’t think he was looking for a different perspective. He wanted the comfortable and familiar. But when things get too familiar we stop noticing.

     

    Oh well. I read more of my book on the way home. I would love to spend time over the next few days curled up with it, tuning out the world, thinking about Abraham Lincoln and his cabinet. This may not happen. The lives of others are once again about to rule my schedule and attentions. But a switch has been flipped back on and I am loath to let it get shut off again.

  • New

    It was finally time for  a new haircut yesterday.  I had been counting the days.  Afterwards I went to pick up new glasses, something else I had been waiting for with baited breath.  I had been told that my prescription really hadn’t changed much, but apparently it was enough.  Now I no longer have to take my glasses off to read, or better yet, to see the computer, which means there is less likelihood that I will be spending my time running around the house wondering where I put my glasses.  I got bifocals (or progressive lenses) a couple of years ago just to avoid that scenario.  An unexpected benefit of my new prescription is that oncoming headlights don’t bother me nearly as much as they had even 24 hours ago.  The light must have been just blurry enough….now I can happily drive home from knitting group/class late at night without worry or headaches. 

    Since the last time I updated my avatar was the last time I got new glasses, it seemed like it was about time  for an update there as well.

    I had really planned for today to be an at-home day with plenty of catch up housecleaning to do and a long list of telephone calls to make but we changed plans.   DH had been increasingly uncomfortable following minor surgery on Monday and we went in to the doctor’s office for a quick check.  All was fine; we were in and out even before I could get two rows knitted on a new scarf I brought along to start.    DH had the fine suggestion that we should go out for coffee and a pastry somewhere so a discussion of possible coffee shops ensued.  He wanted something with a lovely view, but I really couldn’t think of any:  a lovely view of a parking lot perhaps, or perhaps a lovely view of the intersection of Route 9 and Market Street.  But there are no charming shops or pedestrians strolling the avenues so this was less enticing.  I finally had the idea of going to the CIA.  I used to meet friends for lunch at the Apple Pie Bakery Cafe, but hadn’t been there lately, and I wasn’t sure that DH had ever been.  It was perfect.  We both had a lovely piece of brioche filled with serrano ham and manchego cheese and a cup of excellent coffee.  We even scored a table with a view.  DH agreed that it was a lovely place and is already talking going over for an occasional morning spent perusing the NY Times with coffee and a pastry.  Of course lunch is always an option too.  Friday morning pastry with my DH, now that’s a nice way to spend retirement.  Of course brioche doesn’t help with knocking off those Christmas pounds, but you know what, I really don’t care.  I’d much rather have the brioche.

    Kumer
    .We had to walk past the bookstore on the way back to the car.  Even though I haven’t put up the shelves in the new library/workout room and therefore still have my cookbook collection stacked around the house, I bought two more, although I think these are as much reading books as cooking books.

    Raymond Sokolov and Corby Kumer are both writers I have long enjoyed so I know I will enjoy reading these books regardless of the state of the recipes.  But I am sure I will find something we like as well. 

    And yes, those are little bits of yarn peeking out behind the books.  It is still piled up on the cutting table, and I bought more last night.  But at least I decided what I am doing with the new yarn.

    Temptation I tell you, life is just too full of temptation.

  • They call me Mardel

    It is actually my (middle) name.  I got the idea for the title by from Carolyn.  When I clicked on the link I expected nothing.  With a name like Mardel you learn not to expect much from those "what does your name mean" databases.  This time I got an answer.


    What Mardel Means


    You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
    You master any and all skills easily. You don’t have to work hard for what you want.
    You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you’ll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

    You are usually the best at everything … you strive for perfection.
    You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
    You have the classic "Type A" personality.

    You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You’re always up to something.
    You have a ton of energy, and most people can’t handle you. You’re very intense.
    You definitely are a handful, and you’re likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

    You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.
    You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.
    People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

    You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
    You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
    At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

    You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
    You are light hearted and accepting. You don’t get worked up easily.
    Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

    And you know what else?  A surprising amount of it is correct.  Especially the part about being a little flaky and irresponsible, especially of late.

    I have not sewn up the completed "Dreaming of Spring" spring might come first, but I still expect a few weatherly glitches.  I am knitting Maggie.  My red skirt has not been cut because I have piled up all my yarn on the cutting table (now there is a frightening thought, so frightening in fact that I dread going into the sewing room).  And I have piled up all of my clothes on the ironing board vowing that I can’t put them away until I figure out what fits, what doesn’t, and what goes with what.

    Oh yeah, and I discovered that somewhere along the line, probably in a series of internet connetion accidents, I managed to save 5 copies of my menu/recipe/USDA nutrition analysis databases, each with different subsets of information.  Now I have to manually correlate them and merge them all back into one.  That would be much easier if I were the kind of person that made the same 20 recipes over and over again.  Instead I am the kind of person who has 500 some recipes I use regularly (meaning more than once a year) and a huge reference list of books and other things I would like to try someday.

    Perhaps it would just be easier to run away and start anew.  But I know that doesn’t really work.

    I guess being hyper-organized has its downsides.  Sometimes I get so tightly wound I just have to go into shut-down mode awhile. But I’ll get my act together again.  I always do.

  • Dreaming of Spring

    Dreaming of Spring is what I named the stripy green and purple
    sweater I am knitting from the mixed bag of Colinette yarns.  It is
    really a winter sweater but the colors just sing to me of the promise
    of spring.  I've got the body on the blocking board and the sleeves are
    almost done (about 1/2 sleeve to go).

    Dreaming_of_spring3

    I haven't really decided how I am going to finish the neckline yet,
    or which yarns I am going to use.  I am planning on adding some
    decorative touch at the bottom of the sleeves as well, but haven't
    planned that yet either.  It is all kind of a guessing game and I just
    hope I like the finished sweater, but I love looking at the knitted
    fabric as I go along.  It is just so pretty it always makes me smile.

  • Welcoming March

    Although there was a distinct lack of sewing in February, which was never my actual plan, I have to admit that it was generally a good month, despite continued cold dreary icy weather, lack of sunshine, and 10 days of sickness. 

    Early in the month I dubbed it "distraction elimination month" meaning that I set myself a goal of clearing up as much of the backlog of household purging, remodeling, and maintenance projects were weighing heavily on me.  I knew that I was incapable of really settling down to sewing when mounds of projects were right outside the sewing room door and the weight of those accumulated projects had really started to overwhelm.

    Although I am not starting March with a clean slate, the remaining projects are really small additions to routine maintenance.    Without all these mountains of projects surrounding me, I can see no excuse for staying out of the sewing room.

    As often happens when my sewing is more virtual than actual, I have been fabric shopping.  I purchased some things from Ann over at Gorgeous Fabrics  and then, after they arrived and I indexed them and put them away, I found the perfect dress for one of the fabrics, a dress for which I had not purchased enough fabric, so I had to go back and buy more of this beautiful green silk chiffon:

    Gorgeous1
    Despite my best intentions, I cannot buy just one piece of fabric, it just seems like a waste of shipping dollars, but I am sure that it just pure rationalization on my part. 

    Like Marji  I was inspired by Gigi’s photo of the draped pink cotton  but I managed to avoid clicking on the link to Gorgeous Fabrics until I realized that I definitely needed more chiffon.  Dreaming about green chiffon two nights in a row is a strong indication of "need" in my book, and once I was on the site I could not resist this lovely purple cotton or the pink one either.

    Gorgeous3
    Gorgeous2
    Spring seems to be nowhere near to arriving around here. I still have a couple of feet of snow on the ground so these might rest on the shelf a little longer, but they will be there, in sight, taunting me and reminding me that spring will indeed arrive.

    Meanwhile, I have another sweater almost finished, a new one to start, and a skirt waiting to be cut out. 

  • State of the Projects

    February is almost at an end and I seem to have made little progress in terms of fiberly ambitions.  I have done a great deal of thinking about what I wish to sew and knit and not enough actual sewing or knitting.  Well, there has been more knitting than sewing.

    Still….
        The pile of UFO’s remains constant.
        There is no evidence of stash reduction.

    But I am having fun working on things.  Unfortunately no current project is near completion.

    Here are a few peeks at what is currently in progress:

    February27a
    Dreaming_of_spring2
    Redwing1
    Owen

  • Rage Management

    Ragemanagementa13Well its done, and it is nice. 

    Pattern:  Rage Management by L’Atelier
    Yarn:  Highlander by Alpaca with a Twist
               color 2012

    I wore it yesterday to a surprise 50th birthday party for my college roommate and it was just perfect. I can’t believe we are all turning 50 this year. 

    Unfortunately the party was held in one of those old dark neighborhood bars where there was little light and lots of people and none of my pictures came out.  As usual we were running late and there were no pictures before the party, and the after-party photo op was ruined by an unfortunate encounter with some onion dip.  Almost 50 or not, some of us still can’t go out in public without making a mess.

    Today the sweater is on the blocking board where it belongs, and should have been before I wore it.  Remember I blocked the pieces before assembly but then ripped and re-knitted parts. 
    Ragemanagementa11

    You can see the re-knitted bodice in better detail here, along with the ribbed neckline, still unblocked.

    I did end up redoing the hem but I took the easy way out.  I just picked up the cast on edge and worked down from there, using the same pattern of reverse stockinette and stockinette rows that is used at the top of the sweater.  Rather than ending the pattern with three rows of stockinette however, I used three rows of seed stitch just to eliminate that tendency to roll. This way the hem picks up the pattern from the top and also echoes the seed stitch hems on the sleeves. 

    Ragemanagementa12
    I am finding that putting my sweaters on Matilda after is helpful because I can analyze the fit much better, even though the shoulders are a little wonky due to her lack of arms.

    I don’t know why I didn’t do this years ago.  Somehow in my brain there seems to be some disconnect between fitting sewn garments and fitting knitted garments, although this is something I am really aiming to work on.

    Although you can’t see it here, I do need to work on the way I do shoulders to accommodate my forward shoulders, although usually sweaters are stretchy enough it is not as big a deal as on sewn clothes.

    What I do notice from this picture is that although the pieces are the same length it hangs quite differently, something I notice on myself as well.  Twisting around while looking in a mirror is not really helpful from a fitting perspective so I didn’t really understand the problem until I looked at it on  Matilda.

    There are actually two issues here:
    First, I need to add length at the front over the bust.  It has been a couple of years now since I expanded outward from my B-cup to my post-menopausal D cup and I am just overcoming the denial stage and learning to deal with the requisite alterations,  I definitely need to do some short row work to add space over the bust without lengthening the side seams.

    Second, the back is still too long in the middle of the back relative to the side seams.  I know from fitting patterns, that my back waist length is a good bit shorter than my front waist length (with the reverse being true for the rise below the waist, longer back rise and shorter front rise) and I also have a fairly flat back due to my scoliosis.  To accommodate this and achieve less fabric in the middle I need to do something almost like a reverse dart, adding length with short rows at the side seams, taking the extra out in the middle:

    Something like this:     | >——–<|

    I am tempted to play with this on my next sweater.  I am already up to the waist in the back so I am at a good place to try this, although it is being knitted with two yarns held together, the base yarn of which is mohair, not fun for ripping out if I don’t like it.

    But then, its only yarn, right?   

  • Amaranth Purple

    There was a package for me at the post office today and I was surprised to see it was from Timmel Fabrics , not because I didn’t order something, but because I hadn’t expected it so quickly.  I couldn’t wait to get home and open it, and in fact I was opening it almost immediately after walking in the door.  Poor DH wanted me to do something, saw I was opening the package, saw it was fabric, and said "that puts me in my place".  Oh well.

    Here is what I got:Anthropologieifyoupleasefabrictimme

    It is a wonderful purple cotton lycra jersey.  When I saw it on the website, and noted the pantone # (yummy, 19-3526, my favorite shade of purple) I knew it was exactly what I wanted to knock off the Anthropologie "If You Please" dress.

    Julie did tell me it was back-ordered and would be a week or so before it came in.  All I can say is that week passed very quickly and I haven’t even ordered the pattern yet. 

    More shopping for me.  (I’m not complaining).