Chaos seems to be the prevailing state of late and it is really beginning to wear down my spirit and energy, so much so that, after months of anticipation, I am considerably considering cutting my time at New York State Sheep and Wool this weekend.
Perhaps it is just that there are too many unfinished projects right now and even though I look forward to hanging out with friends and meeting bloggers, although I have strong doubts about my ability to actually introduce myself to anyone, the thought of adding one more overwhelming source of chaos and over stimulation to my overloaded life seems, well, overwhelming.
The unfinished construction surrounding my house wears heavily. They are supposed to pour the concrete tomorrow, but it is also supposed to rain. I have no idea which will actually happen, but I live for the day the concrete is poured because it means we can actually start to move to the next stage of construction. At the same time the pour has been delayed so many times that I am beginning to think of it as a mirage, like the palm trees envisioned by the thirst-driven wanderer in the proverbial desert.
I don’t remember if I have mentioned that October has been plagued with failures: computer failures, car failures, failed communications with clients, appliance failures, jobs half done and items moved for contractors and repair people but never returned to their normal places because the failures and contractors and general upset flow one into another.
Perhaps the final straw was last night, when at the end of a wonderful anniversary, I got home (after a mad drive from Newburgh) in time to watch most of Project Runway having missed only the first 10 minutes.
I looked at my hands at the end of Jeffrey’s show and noticed that I had just purled an entire row. I had PURLED a row in a garter stitch sweater, a sweater in which I have knit how many stitches? How many rows? Nary a purl to be seen. The rest of Project Runway was enjoyed as I unknitted the entire row, slowly and meticulously, cursing myself.
It seems to be a sign….a sign that there is too much going on, too much undone, so many distractions that focus seems to escape me.
Oh I will go to Rhinebeck, there are a couple of things I want to see, and certainly people I want to see. But I might not have the mental stamina this year. It might be too much stimulation for my already scattered brain.
Comments
4 responses to “Overwhelmed”
Sorry you’re feeling overwhelmed. Perhaps you’re being too hard on yourself, though. If I had been able to watch the PR finale (I’m temporarily Bravo-less), I’d probably have made lots of mistakes and not noticed for rows.
I wish I were going to Rhinebeck. Go, and enjoy it extra for me.
Sorry you’re feeling overwhelmed. Perhaps you’re being too hard on yourself, though. If I had been able to watch the PR finale (I’m temporarily Bravo-less), I’d probably have made lots of mistakes and not noticed for rows.
I wish I were going to Rhinebeck. Go, and enjoy it extra for me.
Perhaps this is what I am feeling as well. I’ve not had the construction and car troubles, but I feel like I don’t have a grasp on anything. Thursday nights seems to be the most quiet and restful nights I have.
So far, Sharyn and I are planning to arrive around 1pm Sunday. Should we meet near the building with the food/wine? I’ll be the slush sampling wines and trying to stay away from the table with the pretzels and dips!
Perhaps this is what I am feeling as well. I’ve not had the construction and car troubles, but I feel like I don’t have a grasp on anything. Thursday nights seems to be the most quiet and restful nights I have.
So far, Sharyn and I are planning to arrive around 1pm Sunday. Should we meet near the building with the food/wine? I’ll be the slush sampling wines and trying to stay away from the table with the pretzels and dips!