Offensive Courtesy

Are you courteous to others because you are generally kind and you want to treat other people well, or do you practice the "common courtesies" because you feel you should and you think that if you perform these little tasks it will prove to everyone else that you are a kind and giving person instead of the selfish mean little worm that you secretly know you are?

I like to think that I am a basically decent person.  I try to be kind to others and try to show appreciation when others are kind to me.  Despite this, nothing brings out my inner mulishness more than when some kind citizen thinks he or she is doing me a favor, such as opening a door, and then says "you’re welcome" before I can even get a "thank you" out of my mouth.  Often the two phrases pass in the air, barely avoiding a head-on collision, and I wish I could desperately snatch those words out of the air and withdraw my thanks, even though I know that it is selfish and pig-headed of me.  I am most annoyed when the kind citizen you’re-welcomes me  when I am still several feet away from the door he is so kindly waiting for me to pass through.  I swear I want to turn around and walk the other way.  Who says I should walk through a door just to make someone feel better about his or her Good Samaritan status?

I usually do thank people who are kind to me.  When passing through the door, I try to look the other person in the eye when uttering my thank-you, but I may sometimes be a little distracted and thank them as I actually pass, rather than beforehand.  What I dislike about being "your-welcomed" before the thanks have been tendered is the assumption that I owe this person something.  A courtesy is a gift one extends out of the goodness of ones heart, not in anticipation of a reward.  Once upon a time I was taught that it was courteous to be nice to people and to treat them the way you would like to be treated yourself.  A courtesy is to be extended whether it is appreciated or not.  It seems to me that by saying "you’re welcome" before the recipient has even had a chance to enjoy your courtesy, you are not offering a kindness, but instead, a cut.  In effect one is saying "Here, look at what a good person I am you ungrateful wretch".  The poor victim of the courtesy is automatically placed on the defensive, dammed without chance of redemption.   

Yes, I know that it can get tiresome being nice; too many people ignore you or run right over you and take advantage.  Still, it is not nice to publicly humiliate them either, or correct them in public.  If you can’t be gracious about being gracious, it would be better just to mind your own business and not try at all.  No one would think badly of you, most people probably wouldn’t even notice.

FINE QUILTING PINS

While I was at the post office this afternoon,  I picked up a package from Londa’s .  I really hadn’t expected it to come so quickly.  After reading the article on pins in the last Threads magazine, I ordered the Clover fine quilting pins.  I had never ordered from Londa before, but she e-mailed me right away to tell me that there had been a rush on the pins (understandably so) and she was waiting for another shipment to come in.  I was in no particular hurry and informed her of this.  I was surprised when they came so soon, and was definitely in the mood for a present.

Don’t they look pretty in their bowl?

Perhaps I should have ordered more.