I had to sew today. I absolutely had to sew today. And I have very little to show for it — 12 little pieces of ribbon sewn on a stack of towels. But for this I had to clear a corner of the table to set up the machine. For this I had to empty out several boxes, cursing under my breath, as I wondered where I had put the power cord for the sewing machine. But it was a significant gesture for me, an action filled with promise both because it required sewing, even if only in a temporary sort of space, and because putting new towels in the kitchen cabinet also is an act of promise on the home front as well.
Tomorrow is aide transfer day, a day I have been looking anticipating for a long long time. I thought it would be today, but I learned that this was a misunderstanding. I got the word from the current aide, that it would be Tuesday, although he now denies this. I should not be surprised. I remember the discussion well, but I would say that our soon to be ex care person has a tenuous grasp of facts. I say this remembering how many times we argued last week about whether April 25th had been on Friday, as he insisted, or Monday. But this is the least of it. Suffice it to say that our aide is well meaning and has good intentions. Also let it be known that good intentions are most emphatically not enough.
Although I have learned to take "common sense" with a, pardon the cliché, "grain of salt", I am constantly reminded of that old proverb, which G used to love to quote:
"He who knows not and knows not that he knows not, is a fool….Shun him."
In short, I can expect that people who grew up with different experiences to know and see the world differently than I. I recognize that what I think of as "common knowledge" might not be at all common for those who grew up in wildly different environments. But I do expect a certain ability to adapt, and ability to listen to explanations and to learn, and sensitivity to our wishes and the reasoning behind them.
Not that life will be perfect. All problems will not disappear. I do not expect this. At this point I only hope for less stress. That, in and of itself, will be a blessing.
I have learned that I do not suffer fools gladly, and the pressure to be kind and considerate and tolerant has been more difficult than I expected.
But it is spring. Beauty is around us. I shall hope for better both from my spouse's next aide and from myself.
Comments
4 responses to “A Change is Coming”
Crossing my fingers that your patience will be rewarded and that the new aide fits more comfortably into the household.
And I agree that even though it’s a small project, sewing up those towels moves you closer to a bigger one. Baby steps, right? Baby steps.
Your garden looks wonderful, btw.
Hi Mardel, I think of you often and just wanted to say that I am amazed by your patience so far. I don’t think I could have lasted as long as you have trying to work it out with this person. I am praying the next aide will turn out to be competent and responsible and kind.
To cheer you up, here’s the words to that song via a recent commenter on my blog:
The game was played last Sunday, in the Devil’s own backyard
With Jesus playing quarterback, and Moses playing guard.
The angels in the grandstand, gave out a mighty yell
As Jesus scored a touchdown, against the boys from hell.
Go with Christ! Go with Christ!
Rock ‘em, Sock ‘em, Jesus block ‘em!
Go, Christ, Go!!!
The commenter, Simon, said he learned it at church camp in the 60s.
Take care!
Mardel, I empathize with you and what you have been dealing with these past months. Yes, adapt is a good word. I admire your strength and dignity, and I’m so glad the beauty and serenity of your flowers and gardens lifts your heart as it does mine.
Reading between the lines, I infer that the change of guard will be most welcome, and hope the new aide is just who and what you need. Such an important support in home care.