Author: 459856pwpadmin

  • A Rather Meandering Post on Music

    It is chilly this week in Knoxville, with early morning temperatures in the low 30's and a nip in the air, even as the daytime temperatures rise into the 50's (so far).  It is expected to be warmer later in the week, good for Easter, and good for me in a way, as I love the way the chilly temperatures remind of us of the slow expectation of spring, of the complexities of Easter celebrations, of the human condition in fact.  There is a part of me that thinks it would all just be too easy if it was always sunny and warm.

    Early Tulips

    Besides, I am a little worried that the tulips are early.  They may not be, as I don't believe I ever had smaller species tulips, or any early varieties before.  I always grew the big gaudy late tulips, which I would plant in a section of the vegetable garden planned for hot weather crops because I would cut all the blossoms and bring them into the house by the armload.  Ahh the excesses of youth.  So it is possible that the tulips are not early, and it is I who am not ready. 

     

    But I had promised that I would write about the symphony concert I attended on Friday, not about flowers and doubts and chill crisp air, even though it often seems that all these thoughts constantly run together in my mind.   Perhaps an early boyfriend was right, I do have a no-track mind.  Well, except that I know that is not true, although I can see how occasionally it may appear otherwise.

     

    I can't really write about the concert, however, without mentioning that I had also attended a luncheon with the conductor and the soloist on Thursday as that luncheon influenced my anticipation and perspectives on the performance.  Truthfully, I was a fairly quiet guest, mostly listening to conversations, adding  a word or two occasionally.  I suppose this does not make me the most scintillating or desirable guest, but it seems to be mostly my way, prefering to get to know people slowly, and I had a good time.  The conductor, Jacomo Rafael Bairos, was charming and personable, and I was thoroughly impressed with the way he spoke about both the music to be performed that weekend and the role of music in society and culture.   Elena Urioste, the guest violinist, was quieter even than I, although she grew impassioned over a conversation about books, with the result that I came home and moved Elena Ferrante's My Brilliant Friend to the top of the "to be read pile", only to have it demoted when I learned that Eric Larson would be speaking in Knoxville tonight, and I decided to try to squeeze in Dead Wake before the talk.  Just so you know, I failed miserably and am still reading Kissinger.

     

    Oh yes, the concert.  I had been eagerly looking forward to this concert before attending the luncheon, but the conductor's description of the works and his reasons for choosing them, increased that anticipation.  In fact the performance lived up to, and even exceeded expectations.  Bairos presented a program that beautifully played up the strengths of our fabulous symphony in a rather stunning concert.   He spoke well, he is persuasive and articulate, the music was gorgeous, and at times, Bairos seemed like a dancer at the podium, and the conductor and musicians part of a ballet.  This is not at all surprising considering the lush music, and the strong visually imaginative component of the music being performed.

     

    The concert opened with John Adams' The Chairman Dances from Nixon in China, although it is often performed separately, and has been used in movie soundtracks, notably I Am Love. Actually, everything on the program has been used in popular musical forms and should have been at least partially familiar to almost any audience, whatever their background, and I find this particular Adams piece to be very accessible.   It is very visual, but I could feel that way simply because I know the opera, saw it performed at Brooklyn Academy of Music in the 80s (1985 or early 1986 I think), in the last season I went to BAM before marrying George.   I love the light, crisp melody, the syncopation, the mix of American forms with a bit of Chinese pentatonics.  You can hear the hustle and bustle in the opening movements, you can almost feel the disruption as Madame Mao's presence interrupts the flow. You can feel the shift, imagine Madame Mao dancing, see Chairman Mao joining her; the music is danceable, romantic and suffused with a sense of memory and longing.   The orchestra captured that crisp rush followed by that sense of solitude, of romance, of longing.  The pianist was fabulous.  The audience was thrilled, as was I.

     

    Elena Urioste was fabulous in Samuel Barber's Concerto for Violin and Orchestra, Opus 14.  But the orchestra was fabulous as well, it was here that I first started thinking of a ballet, as listening to music and watching the performance, as observing a ballet, with everyone creating a harmony of sound and space.  But of course, the lush opening notes of the violin drew me in and the gentle conversations between the musicians, the woodwind solos, particularly the oboe solo, were breathtaking.  I had been particularly looking forward to the second movement, primarily based on the passion of Bairos' remarks on this movement at the luncheon, and it was beautiful: sad and melancholy and yet also somehow comforting, a masterful combination.  But the final movement really shone, with the perfect contrast of pacing and sound, making it a truly fitting conclusion to everything that had come before it.  In the end I think this was a greater test, and one passed with flying colors by both conductor and orchestra.  It is easy to play up the beauty and emotion of the first two movements, but actually a bit trickier to make the vigor of the finale work within the context that has been set, and the orchestra pulled it off beautifully.

     

    The final work was Mussorgsky's Pictures at an Exhibition as orchestrated by Maurice Ravel.  I love this piece, love it so much I can't even really write about it except to say that the orchestra played brilliantly and the soloists were wonderful.  But, it was not only the music, but the play of circumstances that struck me with this performance.  I had been very thirsty at intermission and had picked up a huge cup of diet coke.  Don't laugh, this is important.  This year, for the first time, one can take concessions in to the concert hall during symphony performances, and I for one think this is a great thing.  I went in to the second half, to hear the Mussorgsky, carrying a large diet coke and just the thought of it made me so happy, happy in an almost childish way, as if I was a child going to see some fabulous Disney movie, rather than a serious adult about to listen to "great" music.  Of course I was both.  As I sat, listening to lush music, holding my coke, sipping its sweetness, I considered that I had wasted too much of my youth being overly serious.  The truth was that I almost felt like I was at a movie, for what piece of music is more visual, more movie-like, than Pictures at an Exhibition?  You feel yourself walking into the exhibition, the momentousness of it, and the music takes on the images, the very life, of the paintings.  You can hear the children playing, quarrelling even;  the exuberant chirping of the ballet of the chicks; the vibrant conversations of women in the market;  the somberness of the catacombs; all of these sounds combine to paint a picture and a mood.  One is enraptured. I was enraptured. And is the soul any less enlightened if one sees pictures in music, or hears music in pictures?  The sublime will find its way in if only we keep the door open.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Looking Forward to a (Hopefully) Quiet Week

    A picture of the front yard.  I no longer have the ugliest yard in the neighborhood and it brings me joy every day, even though I haven't finished planting the flower beds along the side and back.  I know you've already seen my daffodils, but I couldn't resist.

    House

    Besides, it is late Friday night as I am writing this although I will post it in the morning.  I've just come from a fabulous symphony concert, a concert that I do want to tell you about, but I am tired.  I haven't really adapted to Daylight Savings time yet.  And I'm planning on spending Saturday out having fun with a friend, so I can't write in the morning. 

     

    In fact, part of the reason I'm having trouble adapting to the time change is probably at least partially due to the fact that I have been out gallivanting around quite a bit when I haven't been digging in the garden, trying to stick to my plan for steadily increasing my walking and exercise routines. and working on my normal volunteer activities.   In short, I haven't given myself enough of the kind of quiet reflective time I really need. In the past two weeks I've been to the FOMA concert I wrote about last week, a pops concert featuring The Fifth Dimension,  and tonight's symphony concert. I would have gone to one more concert, but I was under the weather for a couple of days..  I also saw Zootopia on opening day with my family, and The Boy and the Beast with a friend, and went to see the Blue Man Group, which I had never seen before.  There was neighborhood game night, a luncheon with this week's conductor, and a rather boring dinner with someone I met at a concert.

    Daffodils2

    It was all wonderful, and I have no complaints (well, except for that one dinner, but that was a minor and probably necessary glitch) Now that I've written it all down however, I can see why I am tired.  Perhaps it is good that next week is Holy Week, and although there are liturgical activities specific to this time of year, it is otherwise a fairly quiet week.  I probably need the rest, mentally and physically.  Besides, the music extravaganza that is Big Ears is only two weeks away and I need to be ready.

     

     

  • Of Pillows and Dreams

    I have a couple of new pillow covers.  Looking at them reminds me of the things I still want to do and need to do with the house.  At the moment I am still preoccupied with the garden, and sometimes frustrated by my slow progress.  But, as I said earlier, it is not a race.  And at times, slow as I am, it seems the garden is progressing faster than anything else.  But then, that is one of the wonderful things about gardening, it takes on a life of its own.

    Pillow2

    I picked the pillow covers up in Perry, Georgia, on my way south to Sarasota and North Port.  Tikka and I had stopped early, and we were wandering around downtown, which has been rather charmingly restored, when we stopped to look at a window and were beckoned inside the shop.  The proprietor was Turkish; the shop sold Turkish goods, and he had been open for two weeks.  I looked around and admired various objects and asked about history and culture.  I admired a pillow and he brought out stacks of these covers, in myriad sizes and colors, and spread them out across the floor.  I picked this one, in the middle of the photo above, originally thinking it might be a gift, but it has ended up being a gift to myself. Then I chose another.  I suppose I was getting a little carried away.  I could have bought more.  There were many other beautiful things, pottery and rugs and beautiful lamps.  But my imagination was limited to pillows.

    Pillow1

    Luckily for me, although I actually didn't realize it at the time, I had two pillows at home that were simply begging for new covers.  The original covers were bright red ultrasuede, and although they were beautiful, they were the wrong shade of red for my current house.  Now, I have at least two perfect pillows, and they remind me that there is much still to be done, that all the pillows are wrong or the covers are shredding from years of use.  Much mending and refurbishing is required. But this photo reminds me the process of life, the once perfect orange pillow is now in tatters, awaiting transformation.  The patchwork pillow is something new created from something old, but the focus is on the new, on recreation, on moving forward, on building and creating. The photo reminds me that it is the wrong shade of orange, that once seemed pretty and desirable, was but gloss, and not built for the long haul.  I am working on a piece of needlepointing that I intended to use to cover this particular pillow.  I've been working at it rather half heartedly though, and perhaps it is time to mend my ways. Of course I could just cover this pillow and make a new pillow with the needlepoint. 

     

    It seems I am coming back into myself, and I look forward to tackling things that for a long time just seemed to be overwhelming.   I was overwhelmed for a while, overwhelmed after George died, then overwhelmed with things I had taken on, and then in an odd way overwhelmed with things that were taken away.  Strange as it sounds that loss of things that I relied on to keep me busy, to soothe my mind, made it harder to do the things I was supposed to be doing.  I had too much time on my hands, and I hadn't yet found the resilience I needed to pull it all together and get myself back to being the person I wanted to be, I needed to be.

     

    I don't want to be a person who lets things fall into tatters around herself.  In one ways these pillows are acting as a totem, reminding me of something important on my path to becoming the person I want to be, the person I am meant to be. These small bits of fabric, pulled together from other pieces, remnants perhaps of other objects, other uses, reminders of other lives, are more than the accumulated bits of their pasts.  They have been salvaged and become something new.  Perhaps it is time for me to salvage myself.   

     

    But who is it that I want to be?  Or more importantly, to quote Pema Chodron, "How do I really want to be",  because this is what I am really getting at – what is the core essence of the person I want to be?  Am I actually working toward achieving this goal, of becoming the person I want to be with all my being, or am I letting distractions altar my course?   Am I becoming a whole person, a person whose disparate pieces, whose ups and downs, successes and failures, forms a harmonious fabric?  Or am I just a pile of bits of pieces, rags, and whole cloth, that never quite comes together into a pleasingly coherent form? 

     

    Who do I want to be?    I'm not thinking about a job, or whether I am crafty, or a gardener or whatever. I always thought of what I wanted to be as at least partially defined by what I did, or didn't do.  But I'm wondering if that is really just a gloss on the important question, if not the wrong question altogether.  I also cannot define myself by the negative, as in "I don't want to be X".    I'll be 58 in a few months, and perhaps past the age when I should be deciding what I want to be when I grow up.  And yet, I'm still deciding.  Or perhaps the pieces are simply beginning to fall in place.  I see that the fabric has to be rent asunder before the pattern can be found and something beautiful can be forged from the remnants.

     

     

  • Travelling, Travelling Part 2: Florida

    A few short days after I returned from New York in February, I learned that our former neighbor, and an old friend of George's, had passed away.  I had hoped to see Jim when I was in Sarasota in December, but I still had bronchitis and Jim's health was far too fragile. I had hoped to go back but alas, I was too late.

      Sarasota6

    Still, I knew I had to go.  My presence was not required.  I was not expected even, but that made no difference.  I knew I needed to go, if only just for myself, if only to pay honor to a good man, a good man who had been a good friend to George.  As George's dementia progressed his contact with friends dropped off.  This is not surprising in some ways; it is difficult to know what to say, to know how to relate to someone who can't really maintain a conversation.  But Jim took time.  When George could no longer drive but could still get around a bit, Jim would stop by and take George with him to the gym.  They would work out and go have coffee and doughnuts.  These meetings were often the high point of George's week, and they gave him a chance to once again just be "one of the guys".  Later, when George wasn't really up for going out anymore, Jim would occasionally come by to have a glass of scotch and talk.  They would talk about old times, about the military, about the Korean War. 

      Sarasota2

    I needed to go to Florida, perhaps as an act of honoring George's friend, perhaps as an act of closure of sorts on a life that is now gone, but also to share this thoughtful side of Jim with his family.  Going to Florida proved to be a good thing.

      Sarasota3

    Tikka and I drove down slowly.  I wasn't ready to abandon her again; it is true she is an important part of my family now.  We had a day together to explore Sarasota, and then there was another day that revolved around the funeral.  Too soon, after two short days, we were heading home.

      Sarasota4

    But I have to admit that I enjoyed Sarasota more in February than I had in December.  Perhaps that it was simply that I was not sick.  Perhaps the fact that it was cooler helped.  Perhaps it was just that we stayed closer in to town, at the Hotel Indigo in the Rosemary District.  Tikka and I could walk around town, walk to the old downtown, walk to the harbor.  We walked a lot.  We looked at the water.  I ate a lot of fresh local seafood. Our first afternoon in town we walked around our neighborhood and went to the Arts Center, where we explored the sculpture garden.  Tikka wanted to make friends with this gentleman sitting on a bench.  She couldn't figure out why he didn't pet her.   I wish I could have captured the expression in her eyes when she realized he wasn't a person at all.

      Sarasota5

    We also went out to St. Armand's and had lunch on the circle.  Dogs aren't allowed on the beaches in Sarasota, but we stopped at Bird Key Park and wandered.  Tikka got her feet wet, but she really isn't that interested in swimming either in salt or fresh water.  At one point, as I sat on a rock and she wandered in and out of the edges of the water, sniffing and exploring, Tikka sniffed at what I thought was a shiny rock.  As the surf came in, I saw that the sand was gradually washing away and the rock was being uncovered.  Then I noticed it breathing.  It wasn't a rock, it was a jellyfish.  I don't believe I had ever watched a jellyfish breathe before.  Truthfully, I probably was always trying to avoid the jellyfish.  Tikka came and sat in my lap and we watched the jellyfish, slowly being revealed by the water, slowly being freed from the sand, its breathing steady and strong.  Eventually the jellyfish was free, and it floated into the water and began to move away.  I never knew I could be so happy for a jellyfish, returned to life, able to swim another day.

     

     

  • In the Garden

    Spring.

      Forsythia

    I've been working in the garden.  Of course, I've been loving every moment.  Even when I am stiff and sore and tired, even when it seems like every muscle in my body is screaming out in pain, even then, I love working in the garden.  It has been a long time since I've gotten down and truly dirty in the garden.  Last year my back wasn't up to it.  This year, despite the frustrations at my lack of stamina, and constant fretting at incrementally small improvements in my ability to move, the decision to work slowly, at times painfully slowly, seems to be paying off.  I can do more.  My efforts are paying off in terms of improved ability.  My efforts are paying off in the yard as well.  The bulbs I planted last fall are coming up and blossoms are bursting forth, filling the yard with beauty and my heart with joy.

      Tikka and the Daffodils

    This spring I've been digging and planting some more, although mostly at this point my work is still preparatory.  A few spring plants have been added, but there is more work to do and I am loving every moment of it.  I wonder how I could have thought, when we left Hyde Park, that I would never want to garden again.  I know how.  I know why.  But those circumstances are in the past.  Too much energy is lost fretting about the past.

    Daffodil
     

    But there is something about the earth, about physical contact with this physical place we call home, the pure being of it, the pure life of it that is filling, and enlightening, whether one is sitting on a beach, walking in the woods or a park, just noticing the smell of the grass, of the earth, the texture of leaves and the way they change from limp unfurling to tight, springy maturity, to fragile death.  There is nothing like a day or two in the garden to put one's sense of malaise, of tension and unease to rest.

     

    This spring I've been digging.  There was one flower bed that was never completely properly dug.  I avoided it most of last year, letting the grass grow rampant because I couldn't easily uproot it from the packed clay.  It took me most of the fall just to get most of the grass out.  By then I was too exhausted to actually dig however, and perhaps not yet strong enough.  Now I am, although it took me a couple of days and it is not that big of a flower bed. 

      Digging1

    The first day I dug up the back portion, just dug, no hauling away.  Digging is hard work, but not necessarily that hard on my back.  That section, probably only 9 or 10 square feet, was difficult for me.  The clay was packed hard and mixed with rocks and bits of concrete and metal and general construction detritus.  No wonder I couldn't plant anything.   My legs ached, my shoulders and arms ached. But my low back was fine.  At least it was fine until I went around to the front bed where I needed to move a small azalea that had been put in the wrong place, a spot hidden behind a bigger tree, a spot with too much sun.  Digging in that bed was easy, the soil deep and rich.  The hard part was actually lifting the shrub and getting it into its new home.  The hard part was transferring that dirt dug from one hole, now filled with a plant, to the other hole, now devoid of plant and waiting for soil.  That is the part of gardening that continues to be hard.  But still necessary and fulfilling.  One day's work done, to be followed by stretching, an extended floor workout to relieve a tense back, and a long walk.  

      Moving

    Yesterday I finished digging up that recalcitrant back bed, the one on the northwest corner.  I dug out the hellebores that had been planted there, and which were struggling.  Obviously so considering how they were impacted in hard clay and rock.  Then I dug up the rest of the bed.  About a third of it was easy soil, about a third of it had been properly dug the first time around, about half of the area around the smoke tree.  As for the rest of the bed, it seems a wall had been laid, but no digging had taken place. Until now.  I actually, was happy to dig, happy to have my hands in the dirt, happy to be out there, stubbornly, making something beautiful. There is something very satisfying about heart-pounding, muscle-screaming work, something exhilarating in the final product.

      Dug

    The digging was hard, but not hard on my back.  The part that was actually difficult for me was the hauling away of a good portion of the heavy chunks of clay and rock.   I knew I couldn't lift clay in a shovel and put it in a cart.  That would involve too much weight too far forward of the body.  But I could sit on the ground and lift chunks, scoop up piles of looser clay and gravel, crawl and carry and lift clay into my small cart.  It was not dignified but it was effective.  Too much concern about dignity is often a waste of energy that could be better used elsewhere.  I could load my cart, my small cart, half the size of a small wheelbarrow, and haul that clay off to the side and dump it down the hill into the woods, where clay had been dumped before.  A small cart meant more trips and tired legs and arms, but it was manageable.  I'm not convinced I could have handled a wheelbarrow.  In fact, at one point, I lost control of my small cart and fell down the hill, trampled by cart.  I emerged dirty and bruised but unbroken.  I am not sure that the results would have been so minor had I been run over by a larger load of heavy clay.

     

    I mostly finished that bed last night, just as darkness fell; mostly but not quite finished.  I hadn't purchased quite enough garden soil.  I'll be off to the garden center this morning.  I hope the rain holds off until all of the soil is in and blended, ready for planting.  I'd like to get those hellebores back in the ground, in somewhat more hospitable soil.  I'd like to plant, but if the rains come and help settle that soil, all the better for planting later.  Once the soil is in I will need a break.  Shoveling, raking, blending new soil with the existing soil is the hard part.  Just as planting small plants, bending, and reaching, is harder than the digging was, low-back wise.  Of course the digging was harder work overall.  I'm sure others could have finished the job more easily than I.  But my satisfaction in having done it myself is a sweet reward. Life is not a race.  The end result is worth the wait.  The goal is to take care, to help beauty flourish, to nurture this earth that nurtures us.

     

    I was wrong when I left Hyde Park and thought I'd never want to garden again.  Circumstances are different.  I love the smell of the earth, the feel of the soil against my fingers, even the feel of the clay.  Gardening clears my mind and my soul and reminds me of what is essential and important. I am grateful to have rediscovered the joy of dirt, of labor, of my own sometimes pig-headed determination, and the gentle smell of a fresh blade of grass.

     

     

     

  • A Much Anticipated Musical Evening

    Sunday evening Friends Of Music and the Arts presented a concert featuring Igor Stravinsky's Mass and John Rutter's Requiem.  I had been looking forward to this particular concert for some time, as the Stravinsky Mass is one of my favorite pieces.  Admittedly I was also feeling slightly apprehensive.  It was an ambitious and difficult program, and although I knew many people who had been working hard to master the music, I also had heard some say that the Stravinsky was simply not beautiful.  I know this is not the case, it can be a breathtakingly and profoundly beautiful piece, but I also appreciate that learning new music can be difficult, especially when that music plays with accents, stresses, and the layering of chords that in unusual or unfamiliar ways.   I would say that Stravinsky's sacred music is not nearly as atonally shocking as his secular music, and, in fact, is quite melodic, but it does not follow the familiar mold that we have come to expect for sacred music.  There may be something quite insightful in that.

     

    The Mass is scored for chorus and wind instruments.  Stravinsky wrote it as a piece of music intended not as a concert piece, but for liturgical use.  To accomplish his intent, Stravinsky draws on very old techniques used in Medieval and Renaissance liturgical music, but not so commonly employed today in Western liturgy. There is a strong rhythmic focus very reminiscent of the old style of Gregorian Chant, with its complex mixed meter before the emergence of complex polyphony.  I also hear echoes of the Russian Orthodox in this music, but this could be my own imagination. The Mass was specifically written for the Roman Catholic Liturgy as the Russian does not allow for the instrumentation, but at the same time, Stravinsky was familiar with the music of the Russian Orthodox church and it is not odd to think some influence is present.

     

    I am going to quote from the program notes here:

    "The mass that resulted is indeed spartan but also evocative of chant, especially the syllabic chanting of the Orthodox Church.  The unusual orchestration, consisting of ten wind instruments, provides a cool, sonorous, and usually independent accompaniment to the four-part chorus.  As Robert Craft, Stravinsky's music assistant and friend, once observed, "The orchestra which Stravinsky says "tunes" his choir never plays quite the same music.  It adds tones, sounds different root tones than appear in the vocal parts, stresses, underlines, imitates, counterparts, sets off and augments the chorus".

     

    I am very glad I went to this concert.  The choir performed fairly well, and at times with ethereal beauty.  They did not capture the magic of this piece, its deep liturgical flow and meaning, but I am sure with more time and more practice, were they so inclined, they could.  The orchestra itself, generally needed more work.  There were moments that were good, but generally there was too much horn.  It seemed to me they took that phrase "usually independent accompaniment"  to heart, although it simply could have been a lack of familiarity.  Music is something we never master completely, even with pieces we know intimately, and there were moments where the horns reminded me of a recent piano recital, where the children were happy just to hit all the notes, loudly and with no inflection, but at least hitting the notes. In a truly good performance we get something closer to what Craft describes at the end of the paragraph above, and the horns are softer and the effect far more subtle.  True the orchestra does not play quite the same music, but the overall effect is one of harmony, of subtle wave-like shifts in sound that build and add shadings to the meaning of the words, the words being Stravinsky's primary focus.

     

    In the Kyrie, the horns and woodwinds set the tone, and aside from volume, there were lovely moments where, in the simple rhythmic recitation of the simple phrases, the choir achieved a kind of ethereal beauty, enhanced by the way Stravinsky manipulates the stresses of the meter, placing the normally unstressed syllables on the stressed beats, a technique that woks well with this music and brings focus to the words themselves and their meanings, and actually acts as a foreshadowing of what will come later in the text.  Unfortunately, but also understandably, there were also parts of the Kyrie where the choir slipped back into the more common, meter-centered inflection, with the unfortunate effect that the listener would be startled out of the beginnings of reverie. 

     

    The second movement, Gloria, was a more successful conversation between instrumentation, chorus, and soloist,  with a clearly articulated pulse and a sense very reminiscent of the kind of early polyphony, or parallel organum, found in Medieval sacred music.  In the third movement, the Credo, the choir alternated between great beauty and a bit of a stumbling sense of disconnect, again probably due to changes in meter. The stumbles did not help the rather stark, sonorous coldness of this movement, meant to be a serious statement of faith, but generally that sense was present. 

     

    The work concluded with the grandness of the Sanctus, even if the horns were a bit heavy handed, and the ending a bit more dissonant than it should have been.  This final chord of the sanctus uses a system known as Pythagorean tuning, again a technique used in Medieval sacred music, which relies on using perfect fifths and a major third.   In this case, the chord is G.  The point is to sound the fundamental first (G) then the perfect fifths — D, A, and E accordingly, culminating with C#, a major third, which completes the sound. Successfully rendered, each pitch plays on the pitch below it, in the way the ear wants to hear it, forming a kind of complex consonance with great depth.  Misplayed and dissonance runs rampant.  I suspect this color shift is more natural for the choir, as they came far closer to achieving it, than it was to the orchestral accompaniment. I suspect, for the horns, all that was necessary was the subtlest shift in color rather than full shifts in pitch, the end result being that, rather than being lifted to the heavens, the audience was jarred back to earth.

     

    I do think the audience was very grateful that the concert ended with the Rutter, which may be one of the most beautiful Requiems in regular performance.  The form of the music was certainly more comfortable for both the musicians and the audience.  Unlike Stravinsky, Rutter is known primarily for his sacred music, and also unlike the Mass, this piece is intended to be performed in a concert setting.  Aside from the composers marked difference in style, this makes for a wide difference in the flow and sound of the music overall.  Whereas the focus of Stravinsky's Mass was on the words themselves, and the music was meant to move one into and through the words to the meaning behind them, with the Rutter, the music itself is the point, and it is the music that is meant to be transformative.  Stravinsky was also a composer who was perfectly capable of exploring darkness in his music, whereas Rutter's compositions, for the most part, are lushly beautiful and markedly avoid the darker sides of the human condition.

     

    The piece was very lush and beautiful and mostly well performed.  Rutter writes music that is very easy to listen to and this piece was indeed soothing and uplifting for the audience. My personal favorite was the second movement "Out of the Deep", which is a setting of Psalm 130, with heavy reliance on the music and cadence of Spirituals to begin the movement in darkness and gradually arise to hopes for glory.  The echoes of the second movement, which continued throughout the work, also brings an underlying hint of sadness to the work, although this sadness is far from the dominant theme.  Overall, it was a beautiful work, and a lovely performance.

     

    I would conclude by saying that there is a part of me that wishes there was any likelihood that there could be greater exploration of the Stravinsky.  I acknowledge that it is not likely to happen.  Even if the musicians were interested in devoting more time and effort to the piece, I am not convinced the audience would be willing to give the work a second chance, at least in the near future.  I am nonetheless happy to have heard this concert, happy that the group took on such an ambitious program, and I can hope that someone, other than me perhaps, will have discovered something heretofore unknown, and this discovery will lead them to destinations as yet to be revealed.

     

  • Three things on a Tuesday Morning

    This will be a really brief update, as I am trying to get through a bunch of stuff I let pile up.

    Crocus

    The tiny species crocuses are up, each one about the size of a 1 1/2 teaspoon measuring spoon. The iris histroides are also continuing to pop up, and continuing to make bring a big smile to my face each time I walk by.

    Boots1

    On Sunday I wore the new gray boots I bought in NYC.  Here I am propping my legs up on my still too-cluttered desk late Sunday afternoon.  We walked by the store on our way from the subway stop to the Metropolitan Museum, although we didn't stop at that time.  However the boots firmly lodged themselves in my mind, and distracted my thoughts, so I dragged Liana back with me to take a second look.    Gray is a much more versatile color in my wardrobe than black.  A pair of black boots is being culled, although they may be set aside and sold early next fall.  It really isn't boot season anymore.  The black down coat, which I did not take to New York with me, will also be sold.

    New books

    I got caught up with mail and bills and miscellaneous bits of paper yesterday, so the surface of my desk is more user-friendly. These are new books that I picked up at MacKay Used Books here in town.  I sold more books than I bought, so I am doing well on the book front as well at the moment.  I haven't started reading any of them yet; I'm still woking my way through Niall Ferguson's Kissinger biography.  Maybe soon.  Perhaps it will be warm enough this week to read Annie Dillard out in the sunshine.

     

     

     

     

     

  • Travelling, Travelling: Part 1, New York City

    During my blog break, I went to New York.  In fact, although it was not a part of the original plan, I started the blog break with a trip to New York and ended with a trip to Florida, but more about that later.  In short I was busier than I anticipated and I am still catching up.

     

    I was meeting my friend Liana, who was flying in from Nebraska.  We had managed to schedule our flights so we would arrive at LGA at approximately the same time.  But the weather intervened.  We were both delayed by 3 hours or more; in fact Liana's flight was cancelled and she ended up on another flight, bound for Newark instead of LGA.  I thought I had been so clever:  I didn't fly at the crack of dawn, and I was originally scheduled to arrive well before rush hour.  HA!  Mother Nature intervened.

    NewYork1b

    By the time I did land I was simply tired and ready to get to the hotel.  It had been raining.  The sky was mostly gray but shaded with the rosy hues of the approaching sunset as we headed west into Manhattan.  The photo was snapped quickly through my cab window and is none to clear, but somehow it perfectly captured my mood at my reintroduction to New York.

     

    We stayed in the garment district, at the Archer Hotel, which was perfectly lovely.  The room was small, it was NYC after all, but really rather cleverly and furnished and decorated to the effect that I found it more comfortable and efficient than many larger hotels.

    NewYork2

    We had hoped to go to the Met that night, but we landed late, and were tired.  We opted for a drink at the bar instead, where there was a lovely view of the Empire State Building, just one of the lovely features of this small hotel, to which I would happily return.

      Liana in New York

    Although we had planned to go out to dinner, we ended up staying in, moving ourselves downstairs to the restaurant.  Even then we opted for nibbling and noshing while we talked and laughed and generally unwound.  It proved to be a good start to a lovely short visit.  A few events never materialized.  A friend we hoped to meet was stuck in another city, unable to return home, probably due to the same weather systems that delayed our arrival.  We never made it to the Met, the one performance we both wanted to see was sold out, with no last minute seating options, and I had managed to talk Liana out of trying for tickets the previous night. 

    NewYork3

    But we wandered around the garment district, explored fabric stores, and yes, went back for fabric.  We walked and talked and laughed a lot.  It was good to spend time with someone I can talk about clothes and fashion and fabric, with a friend who appreciates my rather frivolous and shallow side.  In fact it was good to just be lighthearted and silly.  We went down to Chinatown, and up to the Upper East Side.  We ate and drank and flirted with waiters.  In fact, I was rather surprised to find myself being engaged, and engaging in, lighthearted flirtation on a few occasions.  It is quite nice to have found joy again, to release that flighty self from the closet she was locked away in during those years when I became too serious for my own good. A little bubble and sparkle is always a good thing. 

  • Three Concerts

    More or less around the time I began my blog break, I attended three concerts in Knoxville.  There had also been hopes of an opera in NYC, but that fizzled, probably due more to my preferences than due to my friend's. 

     

    My mini music series was bookended by two concerts on the lighter end of music fare.  First the Knoxville Symphony's pops concert, which was titled "A Celebration of Rogers and Hammerstein" on February 13th, and a week later, also on a Saturday evening, the Knoxville Choral Society performed a concert called "The people's voice" which focused on American songs, mixed between spirituals and folk songs.  I've come to appreciate my pure enjoyment of these concerts, enjoyment in a particularly non-intellectual way, especially the concerts of the Symphony's Pops series.  The guest artists are usually quite good and the music touches on a human aspect of shard experience and renders it into a kind of shared memory, a process of commonality and bonding. I find a joy in these performances, a balance perhaps, between the yearnings for something greater, the aesthetic, and the actuality of life, often touching, often tawdry, filled with sentiment and even the rather ironic touch of kitch.  I don't mean this in a bad way, these things, are what makes us human, and popular music celebrates all of the many aspects of humanity. Music is more than art, it can also be memory, it can be yearnings. it can form bridges in ways words cannot.

     

    In the midst of this popular upswelling was the Knoxville Symphony Orchestra's February concert.  This proved to be a much more problematic event from my perspective and my commentary is made far more difficult by the fact that I somehow stopped writing about concerts over the course of the previous months.  This concert featured the fourth of the candidates for the position of the Knoxville Symphony's new music director, Eckart Preu.

     

    I will just come right out and say that I did not enjoy this concert.  I thought it was the worst concert I had heard this season, and I spent a considerable amount of time in the days following the concert trying to sort my reactions.  I know I was tired.  I don't know how much my tiredness affected my disappointment.  I may never know.  I can only explore my own reaction, and  I only attended the second half.  Several people who enjoyed the concert told me this was the "best half" which left me struggling with my own frustrations and inclinations, my own biases and joys, and where these various paths may be leading.

     

    I missed the soloist.  In retrospect I do not regret this, although I missed the first half of the concert because my plane was delayed rather than out of any intentional action on my part.  It was, in fact probably good that I missed it.  Based on the reviews, which I have since read, (generally far more positive toward the concert as a whole than my own opinion) and the fact that I have in fact heard Alon Godstein's recording of the Mozart Concerto for Piano and Orchestra No. 20 in D minor and found it lacking, I would probably have had difficulty being open-minded enough to appreciate that performance.  Much as I love going to our symphony, and much as I have heard performances that have taken my breath away, I have also heard Uchida, Perraia, and Brendel peform this work, and I have several recordings of my favorites, each remarkably different.  There are times that, despite my best intentions, I cannot completely divorce myself from expectation, and it would have been difficult for me to separate my disappointment in the soloist from the rest of the performance.

      

    Here's the thing.  I didn't think I remembered Eckart Preu, although I should have.  I didn't remember him from his photo, I didn't remember him from his biography.  Perhaps this should hae told me something in and of itself.  But as a conductor, on the stage, I remember him.  He has a rather distinctive style, and this is not a criticism.  I remember Ekart Preu from the Bard Musical Festival, which I faithfully attended from its inception until I moved out of the area.  I can't say I was thrilled with him then, although I certainly liked him better than Leon Botstein as a conductor (although I admire Botstein in many ways) which of course can explain how I had forgotten.  Although he has grown musically, I still can't say that he would be my first choice, although I can see how his skills, and his focus, may be appealing to an orchestra in a small city which is doubtless trying to find some happy meeting point between the demands of a concert schedule and the costs incurred in producing it.  Perhaps my expectations are not in line with where they should be.  My intellectual side wants adventurous programming while my heart want magic.  What I got on Friday February 19th was not magic.  Oddly, the previous performances had been magical, especially the January concert with the young conductor Aram Demirjian, a concert that was unfortunately not well attended due to threats of bad weather.

     

    I am admittedly spoiled. I attended the New York Philharmonic for over 25 years.  I've heard heard other notable symphony orchestras, and many of the world's great soloists.  But I've also heard boring performances in New York.  And I've hard music that moved my soul in smaller venues.  I've heard music that thrilled me, that brought me to tears, music which I can hear in the back of my mind in Knoxville.  But I did not hear it that night.

     

    What did I hear?  I heard Jennifer Higdon's Blue Cathedral, a charming and evocative piece, which although fairly lightweight, can be both ethereal and emotionally moving, if not overdone by playing up its new romantic qualities, or underdone, by ascribing to it too much of a foreign, intellectualized zen-like quality.  The latter was the problem with this performance, and Preu seemed to accent the "otherness" of this piece.  To my mind the work seems to seek a balance between art (the zen-like qualities) and emotion (the more romantic impulses), but it is subtle and requires a delicate hand, a gentle teasing of the music. But perhaps this is where having heard a piece performed numerous times is a disadvantage.  The orchestra itself performed well.  I felt the interpretation was lacking, felt the music sounded like it was unfamiliar, and although the flute and clarinet solos were beautifully performed, the middle section of the work, which can sound like filler if not handled with the deftest touch, seemed like exactly that, filler. To my ears, the work felt more like an intellectual set piece, something that appealed more to the head than the heart.

     

    The same measured quality, seemed to follow with the Prokofiev.  It was as if the emphasis was more on the intellect, on tackling a challenge, rather than on finding the music.  I felt Preu's rather expressive conducting style was not reflected in the actual music, which was more restrained, something that I found quite unsettling for excerpts from Romeo and Juliet.    The performance was, in fact, of a piece with the performance of the Higdon: accenting the dissonance, in fact playing the contrasts well, something I had once found lacking in prior years.  Normally this was something I would applaud, but I still felt that an idea of music was being painted, but not music itself.  The performance seemed oddly devoid of joy and emotion.  Ultimately, that is what I am looking for when I attend a concert.  My brain wants to be engaged but my heart wants to sing.  

     

    I shall reiterate:  perhaps my perceptions were shaped more by the fact that I was tired, and possibly easily disappointed.  Yet I had been so eager to hear this concert.  Every concert this year has surprised me.  This was the first concert that surprise me in a not so good way.  Perhaps, once again I am looking for something that is impossible.  I don't expect the magic to happen every time.  But the one time, the time that is an audition, that is important.  It is important to me at least, but my opinion is but one among many, and I recognize that what is magic to me may not be magic to someone else, and vice versa. I am not trying to change the outcome.  I am not always even comfortable writing about my disappointments, but how can one appreciate joy without accepting disappointment?  Perhaps this was the wall I needed to climb before I could resume writing about my own, highly personal, reflections on music.

     

    And now it is March.  There will be more concerts.  There will be another new conductor.  Eventually a decision will be reached.  Where will we go from here?

     

     

     

  • Growth

    A week ago today I was home from a brief trip to New York.  It was a trip I needed.  I tend to discount how important it is to get away sometimes, thinking, erroneously, that since I am retired and live alone I have no need to get away.  Even without paid work though, it can be important to uproot settled thoughts and routine, to step away from schedules and demands. Sometimes it is good, even, to take a break from oneself, from the normalcy and creeping fustiness of one's own routines.

    Clearing

    I've been thinking, over the last week, how much a short trip cleared my thoughts, thinking how dull and clouded my countenance had become.  I've been thinking how a simple change, a simple break from routine, can allow my inner lark to soar once again.

     

    New York is different than it was.  No, that is not true, but my perceptions have changed, now that I no longer live along the fringes of the New York Metropolitan Area.  Granted I lived on the outer fringes, but there were so many things I simply took for granted out of constant exposure,  My perceptions are different now, and this is not entirely bad, although it is not entirely good either.

     

    As I was riding to Newark Airport I was struck by how sad and lonely the trees looked: bound, shackled, imprisoned.  Yes, it was winter and everything was gray.  But we are still skirting the fringes of winter here, but the grayness of the countryside is different than the grayness of industrial New Jersey. Industrial New Jersey has never, in my experience, been attractive, but this time the bleakness struck more deeply and I was troubled.  I was troubled by how much we destroy and maim and constrict in the name of progress, a progress that is shallow and ultimately rather meaningless.  As I looked at the lonely trees along the road to Newark, I thought also of the lonely trees on the upper east side of New York, much more well tended, cared for, but still isolated in boxes, solitary tokens of our admiration for the earth.

    Sprouts

    It was good to be home.  It has rained.  It has rained a lot and the ground was saturated, squishy underfoot, and the earth smelled soft and warm and full of life.  Bulbs are beginning to sprout, lifting their leaves toward the sun, and as I sank my hands in the dirt, returning a few very small, shallow bulbs that had probably been lifted in the repetitious cycles of freeze and thaw, I loved the feel of life, of home, against my skin. 

     

    Nothing much is blooming in my neighborhood yet, but my neighbor's daffodils are in bud and will open soon.  I look at them and wonder why I didn't plant any early daffodils, only late varieties, the ones that are my favorites.  But I miss those early yellows.  I must make a note for next year.  I hear that the daffodils are up in other parts of town, areas below the freeway, closer to the river, where they are probably a half zone warmer and a week ahead of me.  That doesn't surprise me.  In Dutchess County NY, where I lived before, we were a half-zone warmer along the river than those who lived a mere 5 miles inland, and my in own front yard, protected on three sides from the ravages of wind,  I successfully kept plants that were hardy only in climes a full zone south of my own. 

    Kathryn Hodgkin

    Slowly blooms appear.  Despite intermittent bursts of cold, spring will come.  Every bulb planted is a question.  Every bulb that becomes a flower is a promise fulfilled.  I love the anticipation, the thrill of seeing new growth.  Kathryn Hodgkin arrived in the middle week.  There are only two so far, but I hope for more.  She is tiny and easily missed if one is not looking.  This makes her all the more precious in my eyes.  Hopefully she is but the forerunner of a small colony of iris histroides, a tiny, early promise of spring to come.