It is 8:30 AM and already I am exhausted. That could be because I have been up since 4:30. It could be because I was also up at midnight, 1:30 and 2:30, although I was able to go back to sleep on those occasions, although at least twice the sleep was only achieved through use of a sleep mask, ear plugs and a cold shoulder. Sometimes it tears me up to do it. But one of us has to be alert.
It is more likely because the last 4 hours have just been a struggle over such, to me anyway, basic things, like clocks, telling time, and how to set the alarm. G dismantled the alarm clocks, both the old one and the digital one. I heard him, then saw him, do it. Minutes later he told me he didn't take them apart, they just appeared that way all by themselves. We got the digital clock because he can no longer tell time the old-fashioned way on a dial. We tried to jolly him along about how hip he is as a fair number of our neighbor's students at the local community college also have trouble reading old-fashioned clocks with hour and minute hands.
So now he wakes up in the middle of the night and knows what time it is. That knowledge does not help convince him that he should go back to bed. He just gets angry and assumes the clock is wrong. After all, why would he wake up at 2:30 AM? So he tries to fix the clock, or he wakes me. Then he is angry at the world for not being awake when he is already to go. After all, who told the sun not to come up until after 6?
I am not (yet) so tired from the lack of sleep but just from the frustration of assembling and reassembling the clock and of setting and resetting the time and explaining how to do it over and over and over and ……..
Now G has gone to the gym. I am thankful that he still goes somewhere by himself even though I don't necessarily want to be in the car with him. I would take him and still have an hour to myself, or an hour at my own gym, but at the moment I have nearly 2 hours.
Should I sleep? No. I should go to the grocery store. I need to go to the grocery store and I can go, come home, and put everything away before he gets home. Maybe I can even get in a brief workout and go to the grocery store. I also need to go refill the propane tank for the grill (not offered at the local grocery store unfortunately) but I will save that trip for later. Once upon a time I took this kind of chore for granted. Not any more. Everything must be planned, weighed and measured. Everything involves a trade-off. Perhaps I will be able to get away a few minutes. Perhaps we will go together. Perhaps it will break up the day. It doesn't promise to be a good one.
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One response to “8:30 and I’m already Tired”
OMG. You need to get some help. Are their eldercare places that can take him a few days a week and/or a few nights? You need some sleep and some time for yourself.