Author: 459856pwpadmin

G has been home from the hospital following a TURP and is doing well; at least he is doing well in terms of the surgery and his recovery from same.  On other fronts I am not so sure.  His surgeon and other doctors were quite concerned about how confused he was after surgery, and initially I was less concerned, as he seemed much like he had before surgery…very confused and unable to focus.  When he made the decision to have the surgery I had mixed feelings but he seemed competent to make the decision for himself.  Looking at him in the hospital, I got the impression that his surgeon might not have operated had he know how confused G had become, and as I tried to look at him more objectively, I reluctantly came to the same decision, that this week at least, he is not competent to make any decisions.  But this was not the case when he made the decision.  What changed?  Is something going on or is just the normal, leap and crawl, progression of dementia?

Prior to surgery I had pretty much chalked this up to stress and lack of sleep.  He was fretting over surgery.  He wanted to have it and yet he was worried about it, not an unreasonable response, in my opinion.  He was not sleeping well, due partially to continued urinary issues that the TURP should correct, and to general worry, and I know that continued lack of sleep has a strong effect on his mental stability.  

But now I am wonder if this is something more.  He had started to get a bit muddled about 6 weeks back, but we saw his neurologist and his internist and they saw nothing untoward.  He still seemed to be thinking well.  Now he is not. I do not think it is the surgery or the effects of anesthesia because this is different than his behavior after previous surgeries.    He really can't focus, can't read, can't really do anything.  He has great trouble following a conversation but this goes well beyond hearing, he hears the words and can repeat them, but they are meaningless to him, and he constantly garbles his words and his subjects when he is speaking.  I am hoping this will settle down and am willing to give it a week or so, but I had already decided that it was time to seek more help.  The question now is whether this is temporary or exactly how much more help,and what kind is needed.  He is also scheduled to get new hearing aides next week, and I hope they help.  I am beginning to worry that it is now too late; he has needed better hearing aides for years but he refused to have them or use them, even taking them back and returning them when I talked him into getting them.  Now he wants them but it may not help and this make me very sad.  I hope I am wrong.  

I need to observe him a few days, see if things improve, talk to his doctors and see what might be done, if anything, determining if there is a medical solution.  It is a complicated issue, constrained by the many issues about what to say and what not to say, along with the fact that most of his doctors were also once his colleagues and there are often psychological factors involved in how each of them deals with G, his health, and me.

In the meantime, I have retreated to books with one eye, while keeping the other eye on my sweetie. Therefore reading has, as predicted, continued in a light vein.

 Bicycle Diaries by David Byrne.  

I tend to think David Byrne is enormously creative and talented and I have read things he has written before and think he is intelligent and thoughtful as well.  I looked forward to reading the book, and in the sense that I was reading the author's thoughts on a variety of subjects was not disappointed.  The books is not really about riding a bicycle, nor is it particularly about the cities he discusses.  It is more a collection of observations, musings, and thoughts prompted by the places he is visiting and riding his bike.  Sometimes these thoughts seem quite naive and sophomoric, at other times somewhat sophisticated, and at times they capture an enviable sense of wonder at being able to look at the world through fresh eyes.  What I find most interesting is how these thoughts are framed and the insight they give into the workings of the mind of an artist I admire.   It is not a book about bicycles or travel and it is not a coherent narrative, it is a book about the musings of a bright creative person as he travels the world and observes and comments on what he sees and understands in that world.    As such I found it quite enjoyable and thought-provoking.

Byrne, was my surgical-day reading, when I had longer stretches of time.  After that I slid into the kind of book that can be read line by line with no loss of clarity.

 Sue Grafton's B is for Burglar is the second of the Kinsey Milhone detective series.  I read the most recent first, and have gone back to the beginning.  I was seriously disappointed with the first book, A is for Alibi, and if I hadn't read anything else in the series I would not have continued.  As for this one, I can see, while reading it, why I am attracted to Kinsey as a character, and am picking up on the beginnings of her character development.   Although this book was much better than the first book, it is still poorly written, lumbering, cliched fiction.  But it is not unusually bad, certainly no worse than some phenomenally popular authors (JK Rowling anyone?). The writing is to the point.  The story progressed well and was interesting.  I don't mind the dirty details of investigative work and these details kept the story grounded. When I was in college I was told that one should "write the way you talk" and in that sense this book is good; and I can see the appeal.  It is not literature and reading this will never lead to an appreciation of literature.  I do however like Kinsey enough that I will probably read another.  It is not a book to curl up in a comfortable chair and savor.  It is perfectly good for a hospital room, waiting around in airports where your mind is distracted anyway, or for reading at the gym.

Lastly, I read another one of Lee Child's Reacher novels, Tripwire. Since I have been talking about writing here I will come right and say the writing is not fabulous here either.  It is direct and to the point, and although at times it can be quite grating, I would give it higher marks than Grafton. But mystery novels aren't really about the writing (popular fiction in general is not about the writing, now is it?) and the main character is interesting and complex enough, the female lead is strong, and the story is compelling, suspenseful and moves right along.  I will admit to becoming a Reacher fan although he is nothing like anything I would normally look for in a man.  I enjoyed this book, and it was satisfying enough that I happily finished it curled up in a chair with a nice glass of ice tea (and later wine) while G slept. 

I slept well last night and woke up refreshed this morning.  It was such a marvelous feeling that I almost felt like I was dancing on air.   Well, not really possible as the humidity is still somewhere in the 90 percent range but at least it is cool this morning and will be slightly cooler, if more humid today.  I feel a tingle still in my sinuses and a very tiny bit of a headache, but considering that I have had a sinus headache since Tuesday last, with attendant fitful sleep and discomfort, any improvement is a bit of encouragement.  I had thought that I had outgrown this tendency toward summer sinusitis but instead I was lulled into complacency following last summer's unusually cool weather.

As a result of my own fitful mood, nothing much has happened of note.  Family was here and we had a marvelous visit.  Grandson O left at Christmas still a warm snuggly bundle of toddlerhood and arrived a week ago, two months shy of his 4th birthday, very much the little boy.  When he greeted me at the airport it was very much a sauntering "hi grandma" with the cool sideward flick of the wrist which passes as a wave. In that moment he reminded me of nothing so much as his teenaged uncle many long years ago.  But of course we got to snuggles and giggles and shrieks in the pool with splashing and laughing and many hugs.  The progression through childhood is not quite a smooth continuum after all.  

 I pretty much let the house go for the duration of the visit, much preferring games of chutes and ladders or merely watching PBS kids with O, and sometimes relaxing with a book.  It was about all my pounding head was suited for, and there is always a winnowing of options in life.  I think I made the right choices here.    Rather than being productive in my down time I read The Paris Option by Robert Ludlum and Gayle Lynds. 

I don't really know why I picked it up.  I bought it when step-son A was here in May.  We went to the bookstore and I, as always when I am in a bookstore, had to buy a book.  Perhaps it was the Ludlum name as I always enjoyed Ludlum's novels.  I was aware that it was not written, or written completely by Ludlum.  I wasn't really aware at the time that Ludlum had passed away and this doesn't bother me, this marketing of Ludlum's name to sell more books although I wonder about the benefit of this.  It probably does sell more books, but I suspect that many readers are overly critical because it does not live up to the expections of the Ludlum name.

That said, I found it an enjoyable thriller.  I have not read any of the other books in the Covert One series.  The book is well written, the story moves right along, fast enough with enough human interest as well to keep one reading.  It is by no means boring and it has a few clever moments where I was laughing out loud.  I'm not going to comment on whether anything is realistic or reasonable or "true"; that is not quite what thrillers are about, but it was good entertainment.  And in the end, it actually made me think about a few things, make connections to my own life and the world I see and live in; not profound associations perhaps, but it did make me think about things we take for granted:  our overconfidence about our own competence, safety, the concept of heartland, idealism, and the darker sides of human nature.  What more could I ask from a casual book: escape, relaxation, reflection.  For me, considering that I read very fast, this is a far better use of time and money than most expeditions to the movie theater.